the bingo episode
nicole and i decided to accompany my mother and some of my relatives to the bingo tonight. the jackpot was 5400 dollars. that would have been nice to win, but long story short, i did not. but anyways, here is my incredibly embarrassing experience that i encountered tonight at this bingo.
so picture this. it is almost eight-thirty, about a thousand people (80% being people over the age of 65) are crammed into a smoke filled banquet hall, studying their bingo cards for the last 300 dollar jackpot. People, mindlessly dabbing away, in a hurry to get this final bingo over with so they can return to their geriatrics home and break a hip while trying to take a crap. anyways, i look at my cards and realize i am 2 numbers away from a coverall, which would mean that i would win the 300 dollars. I need I 19 and 0 69. how ironic.... after a few minutes they call I 19. I start shaking. Everyone at my table is looking at me. My mom, aunt, grandma, cousin, and nicole, stop watching their cards because they are waiting for 069 to come up. We all eagerly anticipate the number. I was shaking so hard. I thought if i won this money, I wouldn't even have to worry about spring break, or filling my gas tank for the next month. I filled with excitement. Soon enough, 0 67 comes up; almost but not quite. I was dying. I am not a lucky person and i never thought in a million years that i would win. And about two numbers later, there it was, 0 69.
All of my family jumped in the air and applauded my good fortune. My mom was almost in tears she was so happy for me. She knew how much i needed the money. I threw my hands in the air and screamed bingo as loud as i could. I was still shaking, harder than ever. All of the old people got up and started to head to the door, thinking that this bingo was over. so the dude came over to check my card and as he's going over it i start to panic. I think, "what if it's not right? i'm not a lucky person. these types of things don't happen to me."
Sure enough i was right. These things don't happen to me. I had O72 covered and it shouldn't have been. Turns out my bingo was a fake. The old people headed towards the door stopped in their tracks, and thankfully had enough time to congratulate me with a dirty look before returning to their seats. Oops.
My told me not to worry. Maybe O72 would come up and i would win after all. But no, didn't happen. Some other person won. I felt so dumb. I put up the hood to my sweatshirt and sunk low to the table.
Old people are fucking ruthless. They are straight up malicious. Once the bingo concluded for real this time, we were cleaning up our mess when an old women behind us said, "YOU PEOPLE ARE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS." My mother responded with, "Well, at least we have fun." The old bitch then said, "Well, you annoy the hell out of everyone else." What a fucking bitch. My aunt told her to find a new bingo and added some choice words. I dont understand people these days. Has everyone gone mad? That hold hag didnt need the money, she has social security for christ's sake.
Fuck bingo.
so picture this. it is almost eight-thirty, about a thousand people (80% being people over the age of 65) are crammed into a smoke filled banquet hall, studying their bingo cards for the last 300 dollar jackpot. People, mindlessly dabbing away, in a hurry to get this final bingo over with so they can return to their geriatrics home and break a hip while trying to take a crap. anyways, i look at my cards and realize i am 2 numbers away from a coverall, which would mean that i would win the 300 dollars. I need I 19 and 0 69. how ironic.... after a few minutes they call I 19. I start shaking. Everyone at my table is looking at me. My mom, aunt, grandma, cousin, and nicole, stop watching their cards because they are waiting for 069 to come up. We all eagerly anticipate the number. I was shaking so hard. I thought if i won this money, I wouldn't even have to worry about spring break, or filling my gas tank for the next month. I filled with excitement. Soon enough, 0 67 comes up; almost but not quite. I was dying. I am not a lucky person and i never thought in a million years that i would win. And about two numbers later, there it was, 0 69.
All of my family jumped in the air and applauded my good fortune. My mom was almost in tears she was so happy for me. She knew how much i needed the money. I threw my hands in the air and screamed bingo as loud as i could. I was still shaking, harder than ever. All of the old people got up and started to head to the door, thinking that this bingo was over. so the dude came over to check my card and as he's going over it i start to panic. I think, "what if it's not right? i'm not a lucky person. these types of things don't happen to me."
Sure enough i was right. These things don't happen to me. I had O72 covered and it shouldn't have been. Turns out my bingo was a fake. The old people headed towards the door stopped in their tracks, and thankfully had enough time to congratulate me with a dirty look before returning to their seats. Oops.
My told me not to worry. Maybe O72 would come up and i would win after all. But no, didn't happen. Some other person won. I felt so dumb. I put up the hood to my sweatshirt and sunk low to the table.
Old people are fucking ruthless. They are straight up malicious. Once the bingo concluded for real this time, we were cleaning up our mess when an old women behind us said, "YOU PEOPLE ARE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS." My mother responded with, "Well, at least we have fun." The old bitch then said, "Well, you annoy the hell out of everyone else." What a fucking bitch. My aunt told her to find a new bingo and added some choice words. I dont understand people these days. Has everyone gone mad? That hold hag didnt need the money, she has social security for christ's sake.
Fuck bingo.