A DROP IN THE OCEAN A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER

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TVD 3x01: The Birthday or TVD 3x01: THIS IS HOW YOU DO A LOVE TRIANGLE, EVERY NARRATIVE EVER (WHY DID YOU RUIN IT TVD?!?!?)

• "Does Elena enjoy having you both worship at her alter?" Actually, no, she doesn't. And Damon and Stefan are terrible worshipers? nuns? What's a word for someone who worships a god? IDEK. THEY'RE HER VAMPIRE KNIGHTS WHO FAIL SO MUCH.


• "I like you now." NO I STILL HATE THAT LINE. It's a pity line. The kiss, I think, is actually real though.


• "THAT'S THE SPIRIT" Oh Klaus, you really want Stefan under you in your bed obeying all your orders (Stefan is more okay with that then he wants to admit). Possibly with Bek. But only sometimes. Possessive bastard.


• OH MAN I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS SHOW TO COMMENT ON HOW WOMEN ARE CONDITIONED TO BE POLITE TO MEN. EVEN WHEN THEY ARE CREEPY. I liked the "I'm from florida line". #FOREVERLOVINGONESHOTWOMENWHOGETKILLEDTOADVANCEMALECHARACTERS


• Klaus, you legit come off creepy and scary here. Too bad that won't last. Or not. I kinda enjoy laughing at him being worse than Voldemort


• "You were never going to. Which is why I planned it anyway." Caroline.


• Oh, man I had so blocked the Andi plot line out of my head. THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS EVER. WHO FUNDED THIS? FIRE THEM.


• "Okay I'll go by myself." I just love it when Elena dismisses any man who tries to say what she can or cannot do. It almost gets rid of some of the rage with Andi. ALSO HER TELLING DAMON THAT SHE'S NOT HIS SLAVE DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT HE'S RAPING AND CONTROLLING HER OR HOW HORRIBLE HE WAS TO HER LAST SEASON.


• Oh Damon's serial killer Stefan wall.


• I WANT TO SEE THE WET PAINT THAT IS BONNIE'S FAMILY. Also her father is always right about the witches stuff, Gran said. WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HIM? DOES HE KNOW WHAT HIS DAUGHTER IS UP TO?!? Does he still love Abby? Does he resent her? Is he a witch too? MOAR GIMMIE.


• VICKIE<33333


• Stefan scratching his brow like that to signal he's ready to do evil for Klaus is kinda hot.


• GOD WE SHOULD GET RID OF KLAUS AND HAVE STEFAN BE THE BIG BAD. Then Elena can kill him! \o/


• It's his signature. I really want a criminal minds crossover where they try and catch Stefan. I LIKE IT WHEN THE WRITERS CODE HIM AS A SERIAL KILLER INSTEAD OF BEING PURE. Unless he's pure like plutonium. But I don't think the writers have that as an intention. :(


• "He's into you. Isn't he?" Oh Tyler, u always out of the loop.


• "Slutty Sophie." "Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Sex." I like the second line better. >:


• "What are you doing?" "Covering their tracks." You're such a thoughtful big brother, Damon. ♥


• Klaus smile says he's going to hit Stefan tonight.


• Can the writers of TVD give SPN writers some tips on creative torture? Because the dart game is way more interesting than even the best TVD has come up with. I DON'T GIVE YOU KUDOES OFTEN TVD. BUT GOOD ON YOU WITH THAT.


• "I do whatever he says. That's how it goes around here." THIS IS SO HOT. PUSH ALL MY FUCKED UP D/S BUTTONS PLZ.


• "I'm in your service." I like it when all the Stefan/Klaus dialogue can double as porn dialogue in the D/s fic that I would read.


• Stefan got bored with the game an hour ago, Klaus. You should keep a better eye on your sociopathic serial killer pet.


• STEFAN AS A JOCK. HE'S GOT A PICTURE OF THEM. YOU ARE SOMETIMES GOOD TO ME SHOW.


• A black girl! RUN AWAY. RUN AWAY. BEFORE YOU DIE.


• "This is keep in it small?" And then Caroline gives her this big smile. And Elena melts. TVD would be better if the story was about their true love.


• I love the MY BROTHER IS A DRUGGIE AGAIN I HAVE WORK TO DO look on Elena's face.


• Oh Stefan, you are taking after Klaus with the drama.


• "Now go away." Can we have more of Caroline using her powers like that? I like it when she's kind of a horrible person when she's jealous and insecure and uses her powers like that.


• "You want me to make a wish? I just want to know if he's alive. That's it. That's my wish." OH NINA'S FACE. HOW DO YOU DO THIS.


• The way Elena is looking at Damon's latest serial killer Stefan tracker thing makes my heart glow and long for AU fics where she's a detective who is always searching for the truth.


• "You don't write, you don't call." AFTER ALL THAT WORK DAMON DID COVERING YOUR TRACKS. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS WRITE HIM A LETTER ONCE A WEEK.


• Yes, Stefan, go ahead and hold Damon against a wall or whatever with your hand around his neck.


• I can't even comment on what a mess the Andie story was. I don't have it in me. So I'm just not. It was horrible on every level and whoever thought of it should be fired.


• I don't have a whole lot to say on the Jeremy/Vickie/Anna thing. I think the canon dealt with it pretty well and Anna and Perl in the end was touching. I only mourn the lack of Jer/Anna ghost sex.


• Damon, have you heard of a computer? It's got to be easy to keep all those papers on a flash drive you keep with you than lying them around where Elena can find them.


• Elena grabs his arm and demands for him to tell her what he knows. And it was hot.


• HER FACE. WHEN DAMON YELLS AT HER THAT STEFAN ISN'T COMING BACK. THE LITTLE FLINCH. AND WHEN HE LEAVES. CRYING FACE. SHE GRABS HER NECKLACE.


• "Every time you feed, it makes it easier for you to let go of your brother." So does this mean that eating people blood makes it easier to shut down on your emotions? I WILL TRY AND PIECE TOGETHER CANON MYTHOLOYFAIL


• Rick is walking away and Elena is so sad and she just can't lose anyone else, not after what she just learned about Stefan. And this breaks my heart because in a few months(? what is a timeline in tvd) he's going to die. But before that he's going to terrorize her and Caroline. And I still think Elena needs to paint the town red after everything she's gone through.


• Good acting Ian, tearing apart Stefan's(?) room.


• Jeremy made Elena a birthday card. Nice call back to him being an artist. REMEMBER?!?!


• Stefan's eyes when he's holding that phone and just needing her to pick up.a ldkjfaoweifsds.


• Stefan's little nod when Elena tells him that she loves him and to never let that go. alkdfjaTHERE ARE LITERALLY NO WORDKZDSLKFAJWEASD


• Caroline gets physically hurt take ten million.


• WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HURT ME BY HAVING BONNIE BE IN THE SEASON PREMIER FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES TOPS?!?!

Okay! I will try and piece Stefan's characterization together in this episode. Most of the focus is on him here because I don't know WTF the intent for his characterization for this season is (well I think it's he's a road block for Damon/Elena BUT I'M REJECTING THAT). And I'm trying to figure it out for a fic I'm writing. Then I can go back ignoring all the bullshit about him being a pure good brother.

We do know that Stefan enjoys torturing and hurting people when he's in full ripper mode - whatever that means. And here, he still pieces people back together. But, with what Klaus is asking him to do - he doesn't seem to do it. Stefan is going through the motions when he's torturing and killing people. My jokes/hopes aside, I don't think he ever really enjoys what's going on with him and Klaus in this episode. Klaus will - I don't really know what to call it but this - flirts with him and Stefan will - er, flirt - back and play the deadly weapon with the ease of practice, but his heart really isn't into it.

And Klaus really wants him into it. I do think he gets some perverse joy ordering Stefan around, but I think he'd kill - lol - to get back the ripper that he first met. Their last scene together, where Klaus invaded Stefan's personal space was interesting. He seems to think that the more Stefan feeds, the easier it gets for him to let go of Damon (and Elena, but Klaus thinks she's dead - and he knows she needs her blood for his hybrids - WHAT IS THIS PLOT?).

We know that the switch is something you can no longer turn off after you reach a certain age a la Rose. We never really see (that I can remember) Stefan ever touching that switch until Klaus forces him to. Maybe being a ripper means you don't have access to this switch, whatever it is, so you can't build up some psychological defenses for the need to kill humans (which you once were) to live. Or at least not starve to death. And, as someone who has been mildly staved (I usually got to eat something each day, even if it was just salsa) thanks to an abusive brother, I can say that hunger is a strong motive do what you have to to ease it.

What's really interesting here to me is that while Stefan isn't enjoying what he's doing, he's obviously extremely depressed, it's obvious at some point that he HAS. Damon has tracked him before. Maybe they're just starting to be brothers again since Elena came into their lives, but they've always been profoundly connected. Damon probably watched Stefan fall into ripper mode and then come back time and time again.

This does not mean that Stefan is excused for his behavior. Klaus is manipulating him, but Stefan has completely submitted to it. or, at least he's trying to. And there was no reason he had to kill Andie and torment her like he did to get the message across to Damon. That's all on him. Stefan is both a victim and a victimizer here and this episode does a really good job at painting him as both.

The two times we really see Stefan break through his numbness is when he confronts Damon and when he calls Elena. Stefan is doing all he can not to care. I don't think it's an act as much as he's really trying to become someone who no longer cares about what he does. But pushing away Damon away like he did was something that broke through his listless depression - and woah, Stefan is a fucked up puppy, he has this type of depression when killing and torturing people is pretty. Messed up doesn't begin to cover it. Of course, people who kill people like this sometimes do become like this. But Stefan is compliant in his actions and has done this before so there is only so much sympathy I have for him.

Anyway, Klaus is delighted that Stefan has come back. He knows that Stefan has done something to push away Damon and, jealous bastard he is, is in his happy place. And if Elena was dead, I think it would be possible for Stefan to have pushed Damon away for awhile. But, like Klaus said, in TVD you never get over family. So Damon and Stefan aren't truly over, and I think that, deep down, they both know that.

Stefan goes outside and for the first time in months, he calls Elena. We know he's going to spend a lot of time forcing himself not to care. In fact, that's exactly what he's forcing himself to become. Someone who doesn't care. Especially not about the people he left behind. But still, he finds himself calling Elena. And Elena KNOWS it's him. And she tells him that he still has her. And he nods. He needs that, even as he'll do everything in his power to get her to hate him.

And Elena is beautifully fucked up. This is the girl who, last year in her time, she said it mattered that people were dying. But she's an object in a war that will have no end. And her world is narrowed to the people she loves who are dying one by one. And, slowly, she's taking steps to value just the people she loves and see everyone else as potential cannon fodder. In the beginning, Elena was a good and kind person. But now she's a traumatized girl with her support system being equally traumatized people stuck in the same war. I like that the show plays this realisticallyerish. She's not a hero. She just a girl who wants to be alive with the people she loves.

Standing on its own, I give this episode a B. I would have given it an A+++, but for the fuckery with Andie. If they wanted to show a woman being caught in Damon's abusive controlling behavior and then her life ending by being an object for his brother to use to send a message to Damon, there is a way that it could have been done without LITERALLY TAKING AWAY ANDIE'S VOICE AND THE BEST WE GET HER SAYING 'I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE' TO DAMON. alsdkfja.

Within the season, I'll give it a C. Because this episode is such a disappointment because it teases us with everything that could be. And, god, THIS IS THE TRIANGLE THAT I WANT. Stefan and Damon with violence and tattered love, Stefan and Elena a tragic love story caught up in reality of death and blood, Damon and Elena in a dance that neither of them can quite push away from, and the three of them struggling to find hope in each other and failing as often as not. WHAT ARE YOU THE LAST PART OF SEASON THREE. WHY DID YOU HURT MY SOUL?!?!?!??