wOw....*How CouLd yOu JuSt FoRgEt AbOuT mE?*

[a_wharton02]

welp..Im just sittin here..Thinkin about how things used to be with me and Ben..omg i miss him so much..its amazing how 2 people can go from being crazily in love to hating eachother..i dont hate ben, i'd go back to ben in a heartbeat..but he hates me..he gave it up so fast, and just threw it away..i dont know how..i still struggle goin to bed at night and goin out with other guys..i compare every guy to him, and they're just not good enough. Ben gave me everything, everything i've ever wanted. I miss it. I miss laying with him, i miss going out with him EVERYWHERE, i miss kissing him, i miss just walking in his house and talking to his mom..i miss it all.. Every night before i go to bed i still pray for him. let alone him, i pray for me to..to get over him and to move on and forget about him. But how can you forget about your first love? I really did think me and ben were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives.and i still do..i just have to try to understand that he's only 17..and hes in school..i have to let him live his life..But is it really fair? i was 16 when i met him, im 19 now..i was with him for that long and i didnt live my life..i dunno maybe im being selfish..but Ben isnt even trying to look at it from my point of view..When i talk to him, he's short with me. He acts like he doesnt even know who iam..he says he loves me, but he wont say 'i love you'. I dont know, i just miss him..

-anyways--Last night was fun.. It was me mike Jamie Krista Cody Mark B Higgs John Charlie David and Q. Played some Card Games, and then passed out..lol..just like the past 7 days..lol.. except for today..I DONT HAVE TO WORK! lol..YES! my parents are comin home today..Im bout to get in the Shower--Aaron wants to do somethin so i might hit him up.. Then who knows what for the rest of the day..But tonight im back at it again!