"But you love her...it's too soon? You've only been h-here a few months Spike. I-I've been here longer, a lot longer, and I've gotten to see her move on and I've dealt with it and..."
So it was about Buffy. Dammit! No one ever thought that maybe she wasn't all he ever thought about.
"I do love Buffy, won't lie to you there pet, but I'm not in love with her. She's always going to be on the inside because I'd be a git if I didn't care bout her after everything that happened. She was an ideal to me, that pedistal you talked about. Did it with Dru, same with the slayer. But because of that I can't possibly love you? Can't think about you every single instant we've been together?"
"I don't want to get hurt."
I took a step forward.
"I'd bloody stake myself before I hurt you Tara. Don't think I even knew it all till I almost lost ya. Woulda given anything to stop your pain, woulda kissed the sun for you to be alright, to give you peace keep you from pain. Woulda done anything ..."
I smiled and moved closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "There will be no kissing the sun." I said firmly. "I do know what you can kiss though..." I grinned and leaned up to kiss him, my lips brushed against his and I felt him pull me to him.
Pulling back I looked up into his eyes, running my hand over his face. "I'm in love with you...I don't remember when I wasn't." I kept my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. "We have a lifetime ahead of us, start fresh and all." I took his hand in mine and gave it a small squeeze. "Whenever you want to go."
I kissed her, slowly, letting everything pour into it. Every detail, every second was like heaven. Was damn glad I'd gotten my soul on my own instead of that pansy curse of Angel's cause my moment of happiness woulda been right then.
"Don't care when or where if your with me."
I pulled her to me, just hugging her. Had come so close to losing her. No I had lost her, she'd died in my bloody arms, it was everything to know she was real now.
Woulda felt like a ponce, love sick fool like the slayer had made me out to be, but it was different. I'd realized it from the beginning, she was anything but Buffy or Dru. She was different, didn't care what she said she was better than the lot of them. Always had been.
I hugged him back equally hard. I didn't know how long we were apart for but it felt like forever. Then again when you spend three solid months together with someone the first time you're apart is bound to feel like it.
I smiled and traced my hand over his shirt, noticing a button was missing before looking at my palm. There was the faintest scar where one of his buttons broke the skin of my hand. It proved to me this was all real.
Looking up at him I nodded. "Yeah, as long as you want us to be." I took his hand and held it tightly. I knew we had to leave through the door but I was afraid too. I felt like our happiness was vaccum sealed and opening it and letting the world in would taint or spoil it.
She looked up at me and I smiled kissing her again. Couldn't ever really get tired of that. Hated that it took her dying to make me tell her what had been in my heart for a long time.
Was just three months earth time, was forever really.
She looked a bit worried.
"It's not gonna be easy pet, going to be seeing things and people who've gone on without us. Specially since those powers have abandoned Angel and Cordelia's not their little seer anymore. Doubt I'll be welcomed with open arms and all that. But I'm not leaving your side. No matter what."
Looked at her and meant every bleeding word of it. It wasn't literal, there were times I'd have to go off and do something, be the bloody champion and all that, but in all the ways that mattered she'd never be without me if I could help it and she could stand it.
I nodded, some of my worry fading for a bit. "As long as I don't have to do it alone we can do anything." I smiled and kissed his nose. "Good, I like the idea of being stuck with you." I touched his face and made him look at me. "I don't know how or why this all happened but I'm glad, you have me and I've you. We can survive this then. I will always welcome you William."
He looked down at me and I looked into his eyes, in awe of the blue again. I didn't want to be away from him, ever. but I knew that we had a job to do. We were both chosen for a task and I knew he could handle it and I knew that as long as I had his support I could.
I stepped in front of her and pulled her to me again kissing her passionately. We were about to get into something that wasn't going to be easy by a long shot.
We pulled back.
"Love you." I said quietly.
I wrapped an arm around her waist and we stepped through the door that had come from nowhere. I pulled in an unneeded whisp of air.
"Love you." I murmured back and I leaned on him as we stepped out of nothing and walked into what I assume was where they expected us to stay. I looked up at him. "I guess this is ours huh."
Disentangling from his arms unwillingly I started wondering around the place, trying to get a feel for the place and seeing what was here. "Looks nice." I turned and looked over at him.
I opened the window, thankful it was night, and let the air in. It was cold but I didn't care, I hadn't felt anything for years and now I wnated to feel everything.
Barely noticed the decor, I just watched her take it all in. I could stay anywhere, it didn't matter to me. I had never really cared much.
"Eh."
I walked over to the window and took her into my arms again.
"That's better." I smiled at her, resting my chin on the top of her head.
I was almost worried about what was going to happen next. How the hell the rest of em were going to deal with us. Not just us being back but being back and together? Wasn't gonna be one of those easy things in life.
"So I only see one bedroom from here. Think that's a coincidence?"
I leaned back into his arms and shook my head. "Ahh yes, you're so hard to please." I giggled and shook my head, turning I saw there was only one bedroom too. "Hmmm I don't know. It seems like everyone's pushing us together today." I confessed, closing my eyes and hearing him breathe. It was odd, he didn't have too but he still took breaths. Then again I was over doing it because it felt so good to be again.
"I guess they expected someone to take the couch, you know they're not all with the spendy." I took his hand and lead him over to the couch, I sat down next to him and rested against his chest. "Spike?" I turned my head to look at him. "How are we going to tell them all this? This is a lot to take in...even for me and we're living it..."
"Don't know pet, wish I had that answer for you but I don't. Can't say either of our apperances are going to be easy to get. But add in Us, and who knows. Think Red's in town since Buffy seems to be?"
Still wasn't sure what would go on if she saw Red again. The witch and her had had something huge, one of those soulmate bonds that I didn't think I could touch with a ten foot pole.
I rest my head atop hers and rubbed her shoulder lightly.
I shook my head. "I-I don't think so, they haven't been much with the close lately. And remember, she was with Dawnie the other night in Europe." Oh god, Dawn. I so wanted to see her, I missed her so much my heart hurt.
I had to remember that everything will happen slowly. We had the time now.
"W-why do you think they picked me? Us? I don't know what could have h-happened with Cordelia for them to give me the visions. She's had them for years." I sighed and rested my head against his chest.
So it was about Buffy. Dammit! No one ever thought that maybe she wasn't all he ever thought about.
"I do love Buffy, won't lie to you there pet, but I'm not in love with her. She's always going to be on the inside because I'd be a git if I didn't care bout her after everything that happened. She was an ideal to me, that pedistal you talked about. Did it with Dru, same with the slayer. But because of that I can't possibly love you? Can't think about you every single instant we've been together?"
"I don't want to get hurt."
I took a step forward.
"I'd bloody stake myself before I hurt you Tara. Don't think I even knew it all till I almost lost ya. Woulda given anything to stop your pain, woulda kissed the sun for you to be alright, to give you peace keep you from pain. Woulda done anything ..."
Looked at her wondering if she was hearing me.
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Pulling back I looked up into his eyes, running my hand over his face. "I'm in love with you...I don't remember when I wasn't." I kept my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. "We have a lifetime ahead of us, start fresh and all." I took his hand in mine and gave it a small squeeze. "Whenever you want to go."
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"Don't care when or where if your with me."
I pulled her to me, just hugging her. Had come so close to losing her. No I had lost her, she'd died in my bloody arms, it was everything to know she was real now.
Woulda felt like a ponce, love sick fool like the slayer had made me out to be, but it was different. I'd realized it from the beginning, she was anything but Buffy or Dru. She was different, didn't care what she said she was better than the lot of them. Always had been.
"You an' me then love?"
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I smiled and traced my hand over his shirt, noticing a button was missing before looking at my palm. There was the faintest scar where one of his buttons broke the skin of my hand. It proved to me this was all real.
Looking up at him I nodded. "Yeah, as long as you want us to be." I took his hand and held it tightly. I knew we had to leave through the door but I was afraid too. I felt like our happiness was vaccum sealed and opening it and letting the world in would taint or spoil it.
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She looked up at me and I smiled kissing her again. Couldn't ever really get tired of that. Hated that it took her dying to make me tell her what had been in my heart for a long time.
Was just three months earth time, was forever really.
She looked a bit worried.
"It's not gonna be easy pet, going to be seeing things and people who've gone on without us. Specially since those powers have abandoned Angel and Cordelia's not their little seer anymore. Doubt I'll be welcomed with open arms and all that. But I'm not leaving your side. No matter what."
Looked at her and meant every bleeding word of it. It wasn't literal, there were times I'd have to go off and do something, be the bloody champion and all that, but in all the ways that mattered she'd never be without me if I could help it and she could stand it.
"Ready?"
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He looked down at me and I looked into his eyes, in awe of the blue again. I didn't want to be away from him, ever. but I knew that we had a job to do. We were both chosen for a task and I knew he could handle it and I knew that as long as I had his support I could.
Taking a deep breath I nodded. "Ready."
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We pulled back.
"Love you." I said quietly.
I wrapped an arm around her waist and we stepped through the door that had come from nowhere. I pulled in an unneeded whisp of air.
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Disentangling from his arms unwillingly I started wondering around the place, trying to get a feel for the place and seeing what was here. "Looks nice." I turned and looked over at him.
I opened the window, thankful it was night, and let the air in. It was cold but I didn't care, I hadn't felt anything for years and now I wnated to feel everything.
I turned to Spike. "Well?"
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"Eh."
I walked over to the window and took her into my arms again.
"That's better." I smiled at her, resting my chin on the top of her head.
I was almost worried about what was going to happen next. How the hell the rest of em were going to deal with us. Not just us being back but being back and together? Wasn't gonna be one of those easy things in life.
"So I only see one bedroom from here. Think that's a coincidence?"
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"I guess they expected someone to take the couch, you know they're not all with the spendy." I took his hand and lead him over to the couch, I sat down next to him and rested against his chest. "Spike?" I turned my head to look at him. "How are we going to tell them all this? This is a lot to take in...even for me and we're living it..."
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"Don't know pet, wish I had that answer for you but I don't. Can't say either of our apperances are going to be easy to get. But add in Us, and who knows. Think Red's in town since Buffy seems to be?"
Still wasn't sure what would go on if she saw Red again. The witch and her had had something huge, one of those soulmate bonds that I didn't think I could touch with a ten foot pole.
I rest my head atop hers and rubbed her shoulder lightly.
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I had to remember that everything will happen slowly. We had the time now.
"W-why do you think they picked me? Us? I don't know what could have h-happened with Cordelia for them to give me the visions. She's had them for years." I sighed and rested my head against his chest.
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"Don't have any clue. She was in a coma. Hope the cheerleader didn't give out on life. Don't think that would be happy news."
My hand slid to her stomach and I absently rubbed the skin there. Just the feel of her skin was comforting.
"They picked you because you invoke the good in others love, they chose me, don't have a sodding clue why they'd even consider me."
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