stumbling into the belly of the beast
I set the phone down on the cradle, my heart felt so heavy. I missed her, like I never thought I would. Or at least I tried to pretend like I wouldn’t. But I did, I missed everyone.
I set myself up for this, I knew. I’m the one who made the decision not to go to Cleveland and search out the next hellmouth. Dawn wanted to travel, and she begged and begged to go to Rome with Andrew, so I relented. Boarding School could be good for her … Right? As long as there was no big evil seal underneath the dorm she was set. Right?
God I feel like a worrywart. But I’ve never been this out of control of the people I care about before. Even when they threw me out of the house I knew I could just barge back in if I wanted to. But now they are scattered all over the place.
Faith’s the one who convinced me I wasn’t just being selfish. I mean yeah, there was a selfishness behind it, but it wasn’t all that there was. I could just be me for a while. I could go back to school, get a degree, and try to life a normal life.
I wasn’t under any delusions that my life would ever really be normal, but maybe I could get a small taste of it. Somehow manage to taste what I always craved. Though I wondered if it was really what I wanted.
My dad had decided that he was tired of being a deadbeat and wanted in on my life. But only when it was convenient for him of course, because just being there was not an option. With the money from insurance and the money he threw at me, Dawn and I were pretty well off. I didn’t lack for anything, but when he wanted me to move in with him? I said no way.
So I got myself a little apartment downtown, near that big ugly law office. Which, when I was renting the place, I did not know Angel now ran, but I found out pretty quickly, because word gets around in L.A. its like worse than Sunnydale because it’s twice the size. So far no hellmouth to speak of, just a hub of all evil in California, with lawyers. So how Angel came to run it? That was something I was dying to know, but it got pushed to the back burner when school started. I was insanely lucky that all of UC Sunnydale’s records were housed in the main computer of UCLA. Because re-taking everything? So not in the books for me. I’d die, or wrack up some serious phone bills having Willow tutor me from Brazil, or which every country she was hunting slayers in this week.
I had to admit, I missed my friends something fierce, because they just weren’t friends, they were my family. My only family. I felt out of place in L.A. which bothered me. It used to be my town, I was so comfortable here before I got called, and not counting the three months I ran away, I’d always felt comfortable here.
I wasn’t sure if the anxiety of knowing Angel was just around the corner was what made my daily life drag by, or if it was just not doing what I was born to do.
I knew though, I wasn’t ready to admit defeat, and I didn’t want to face another hellmouth, the first one took away my life for a long time, and I didn’t want that again. So if I was going to be a good little slayer and play with all the demons and do the decapitation thing? I was going to do it on my terms. And here, in L.A.
Not long after I made that little internal decision did I start feeling the need to slay. So I went out, study breaks is what I like to call them, and I did what I had to do. I slayed my ass off. Demon here, demon there.
And get this. Last night this guy in a suit talks comes up to me talking about killing his client. I’m in a big world of huh at this point. He hands me a card, tells me to be there tomorrow, well today now.
Wolfram & Hart, the big ugly law firm that Angel now runs, yeah that one.
So here I am, going up the elevator to the main floor, all kinds of tummy rumblings at the thought of seeing Angel or well learning he’s gone evil because, evil law firm remember?
I step into the lobby, the place is buzzing with activity. Gotta say it looks efficient, and that is probably not a good thing right? God I’m confused.
I walk up to the desk but there’s no one sitting on the other side, unless it’s someone invisible. Which you know wouldn’t surprise me. Remember Marcie?
So I stand there, looking like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth, you know, ever.
[Open to anyone at W&H]
I set myself up for this, I knew. I’m the one who made the decision not to go to Cleveland and search out the next hellmouth. Dawn wanted to travel, and she begged and begged to go to Rome with Andrew, so I relented. Boarding School could be good for her … Right? As long as there was no big evil seal underneath the dorm she was set. Right?
God I feel like a worrywart. But I’ve never been this out of control of the people I care about before. Even when they threw me out of the house I knew I could just barge back in if I wanted to. But now they are scattered all over the place.
Faith’s the one who convinced me I wasn’t just being selfish. I mean yeah, there was a selfishness behind it, but it wasn’t all that there was. I could just be me for a while. I could go back to school, get a degree, and try to life a normal life.
I wasn’t under any delusions that my life would ever really be normal, but maybe I could get a small taste of it. Somehow manage to taste what I always craved. Though I wondered if it was really what I wanted.
My dad had decided that he was tired of being a deadbeat and wanted in on my life. But only when it was convenient for him of course, because just being there was not an option. With the money from insurance and the money he threw at me, Dawn and I were pretty well off. I didn’t lack for anything, but when he wanted me to move in with him? I said no way.
So I got myself a little apartment downtown, near that big ugly law office. Which, when I was renting the place, I did not know Angel now ran, but I found out pretty quickly, because word gets around in L.A. its like worse than Sunnydale because it’s twice the size. So far no hellmouth to speak of, just a hub of all evil in California, with lawyers. So how Angel came to run it? That was something I was dying to know, but it got pushed to the back burner when school started. I was insanely lucky that all of UC Sunnydale’s records were housed in the main computer of UCLA. Because re-taking everything? So not in the books for me. I’d die, or wrack up some serious phone bills having Willow tutor me from Brazil, or which every country she was hunting slayers in this week.
I had to admit, I missed my friends something fierce, because they just weren’t friends, they were my family. My only family. I felt out of place in L.A. which bothered me. It used to be my town, I was so comfortable here before I got called, and not counting the three months I ran away, I’d always felt comfortable here.
I wasn’t sure if the anxiety of knowing Angel was just around the corner was what made my daily life drag by, or if it was just not doing what I was born to do.
I knew though, I wasn’t ready to admit defeat, and I didn’t want to face another hellmouth, the first one took away my life for a long time, and I didn’t want that again. So if I was going to be a good little slayer and play with all the demons and do the decapitation thing? I was going to do it on my terms. And here, in L.A.
Not long after I made that little internal decision did I start feeling the need to slay. So I went out, study breaks is what I like to call them, and I did what I had to do. I slayed my ass off. Demon here, demon there.
And get this. Last night this guy in a suit talks comes up to me talking about killing his client. I’m in a big world of huh at this point. He hands me a card, tells me to be there tomorrow, well today now.
Wolfram & Hart, the big ugly law firm that Angel now runs, yeah that one.
So here I am, going up the elevator to the main floor, all kinds of tummy rumblings at the thought of seeing Angel or well learning he’s gone evil because, evil law firm remember?
I step into the lobby, the place is buzzing with activity. Gotta say it looks efficient, and that is probably not a good thing right? God I’m confused.
I walk up to the desk but there’s no one sitting on the other side, unless it’s someone invisible. Which you know wouldn’t surprise me. Remember Marcie?
So I stand there, looking like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth, you know, ever.
[Open to anyone at W&H]