(no subject)
I could never even begin to understand my place in my family. I don't fit in because I don't thrive on conflict/chaos. I wish I didn't care so much because maybe then I'd have some sort of peace of mind. I can't prevent my sister from the inevitable self-destructive path that she has chosen. Her taste in boys will surely be her undoing, as she will be doomed caring for the illegitimate mistakes she has made, thus tied to a replica of the single source of all of her resentment and anger: her father. She is choosing abandonment, addiction, infidelity, brokenness, hurt, and the guarantee of pain. She will be the used, the unloved, the despised. She doesn't want to be rescued. I'm tired of trying.