time goes by so fast....
So two years ago at this very moment I can tell you where I was. I was in a single dorm room across the hall from mine. I was wearing a brown shirt, and a blue skort. With a tiny blue thong. I remember because I showed it off to my new best friend. I was sitting on a blanket that was green and plaid and so comfortable. The pillow case was hunter green. There was a shitty tv with a cool dvd player on top of it. I was probably watching some stupid movie. I think it was um...Lilo and Stitch. Maybe. My shirt might have been off. I dont remember. I dont remember the little details like what happened when. I just remember the blanket. And the wall. There were so many gross little bugs on the wall because the dorms were nasty. I remember I was miserable and I felt like I was drowning. I didn't know anyone and I was clinging to the few people who were nice to me. I tried so hard to keep those people around me. Or at least one of those people. That person was easier to keep around. All I had to do was take my shirt off and use my hands a little. All I had to do was mess up my life. I was so stupid. I acted in the worst way possible and I tried too hard in all the wrong places.
I have decided that going to vermont was the worst mistake of my life. Maybe my relationship with Richard is stronger than ever now, mostly because of that. Maybe I had some experiences I never would have otherwise. But for the most part...It was a waste of time, money, energy and my heart. Vermont is beautiful. I had a good time, but I wish I could take it back. Or go back and do everything differently.
(Selfish entry I know. Sorry if its boring but its my livejounal and I can write whatever I want. )
I went through my box. You know the one, every girl has one after she breaks up with someone. I havent gone through it in over a year. I'm full of weird emotions now and I kind of feel like crying. Maybe I've just been awake for far too long.
I dont know. I'm going to go to bed and hopefully stop thinking...
I have decided that going to vermont was the worst mistake of my life. Maybe my relationship with Richard is stronger than ever now, mostly because of that. Maybe I had some experiences I never would have otherwise. But for the most part...It was a waste of time, money, energy and my heart. Vermont is beautiful. I had a good time, but I wish I could take it back. Or go back and do everything differently.
(Selfish entry I know. Sorry if its boring but its my livejounal and I can write whatever I want. )
I went through my box. You know the one, every girl has one after she breaks up with someone. I havent gone through it in over a year. I'm full of weird emotions now and I kind of feel like crying. Maybe I've just been awake for far too long.
I dont know. I'm going to go to bed and hopefully stop thinking...