Doo, do doo, do dooooo....
I know I just posted yesterday, but Chelsea and Bekah just posted today and it made me realize how much I like/miss reading everyone's posts! And if I miss your guys' posts, then maybe you miss mine. So here goes.
This past weekend I went home since Rachel was out of town with friends and I didn't want to hang out in our tiny room alone. Being at home usually stresses me out a bit if I'm there too long, but last weekend it was mostly relaxing. Nowadays I don't have many places where I can just relax and be myself and ooze around the house, so going home is kind of a recharge for me. It helped that I had poison ivy--Ruthie refused to hug me the entire weekend. Haha.
By Sunday night though, I was craving people, which made me much more outgoing than usual at our church's 5-year birthday picnic, and pretty talkative in class the next day. Sometimes I wonder if God let me have a stutter so I would learn to watch what I say.
Stuttering is a strange problem to deal with, because you deal with it by ignoring it. Or rather, you accept that it's there and try to pretend it's not there. I pretty much have to think as little as possible about what I'm going to say before I say it. It's a complicated issue--most of it is in my head. For instance, if I think about what I'm going to say, I can see which words I might have problems saying and try to substitute a different word, or rework the sentence to avoid that word. So half of the problem is stuttering, and half is my awareness of having stuttered before. If I can let my thoughts flow directly from my head to my mouth without going through a mental filter first, I'm usually much more fluent. But I kinda need my filter. Dilemma...
Anyways, I didn't intend to talk about stuttering so much... Hmm... It's interesting to see what kind of situations help me stutter less. Being at home usually makes me relaxed, because I don't really care what anyone thinks of me. Being around friends helps SO much, close friends at least. Or the kind that I can joke around with without offending. Guitar Hero helps too, but that'll take a while to explain. Maybe another day.
This past weekend I went home since Rachel was out of town with friends and I didn't want to hang out in our tiny room alone. Being at home usually stresses me out a bit if I'm there too long, but last weekend it was mostly relaxing. Nowadays I don't have many places where I can just relax and be myself and ooze around the house, so going home is kind of a recharge for me. It helped that I had poison ivy--Ruthie refused to hug me the entire weekend. Haha.
By Sunday night though, I was craving people, which made me much more outgoing than usual at our church's 5-year birthday picnic, and pretty talkative in class the next day. Sometimes I wonder if God let me have a stutter so I would learn to watch what I say.
Stuttering is a strange problem to deal with, because you deal with it by ignoring it. Or rather, you accept that it's there and try to pretend it's not there. I pretty much have to think as little as possible about what I'm going to say before I say it. It's a complicated issue--most of it is in my head. For instance, if I think about what I'm going to say, I can see which words I might have problems saying and try to substitute a different word, or rework the sentence to avoid that word. So half of the problem is stuttering, and half is my awareness of having stuttered before. If I can let my thoughts flow directly from my head to my mouth without going through a mental filter first, I'm usually much more fluent. But I kinda need my filter. Dilemma...
Anyways, I didn't intend to talk about stuttering so much... Hmm... It's interesting to see what kind of situations help me stutter less. Being at home usually makes me relaxed, because I don't really care what anyone thinks of me. Being around friends helps SO much, close friends at least. Or the kind that I can joke around with without offending. Guitar Hero helps too, but that'll take a while to explain. Maybe another day.