loooong time....
Retrospectively, i have been using this livejournal for the wrong reasons. But then again, i ask myself, what is the livejournal, that your reasons are wrong?
It is a portal to other people. A way to share personal information, a way to play, so to speak, with fire. A way to show off, a way to get attention. And so, i realize, not the wrong reasons. Just the ones i wished i would never have.
Oh sure, i generalize and lie to myself. "I just want people to be able to understand me" "People can see who i really am now"
That's not true. No one has seen any great facet of my personality. No one has come to a revelation about what makes me tick. Why not? Because they're doing the same thing i am. Trying to make people see.
Everyone is so busy trying to explain themselves to everyone else, that no one is seeing anything themself, and everyone feels misunderstood.
I suppose that is why i haven't really made any update attempts lately. I've been busy reading about other people's lives on lj, and learning about them.
Like David (New York). He's a great guy, with a fantastic smile. And problems. (low and behold.) And even though his problems suck, i love reading about his life, because there is so much more that he puts in to his updates. Small details, facts, his love of Natalie Portman and Angelina Jolie and That Chick from SVU.
And Krissia, who writes plaintively about how much life sucks when you're lonely. Her retorical questions about why she can't find someone to share life with makes me want to move to New Jersey and have parties all summer and fall and winter and spring long.
I love reading about other people. It's great, and i love the little window into others' lives. They may be writing for the same reasons i wrote, but they're still writing well.
by the way, i graduated.
love ashley
It is a portal to other people. A way to share personal information, a way to play, so to speak, with fire. A way to show off, a way to get attention. And so, i realize, not the wrong reasons. Just the ones i wished i would never have.
Oh sure, i generalize and lie to myself. "I just want people to be able to understand me" "People can see who i really am now"
That's not true. No one has seen any great facet of my personality. No one has come to a revelation about what makes me tick. Why not? Because they're doing the same thing i am. Trying to make people see.
Everyone is so busy trying to explain themselves to everyone else, that no one is seeing anything themself, and everyone feels misunderstood.
I suppose that is why i haven't really made any update attempts lately. I've been busy reading about other people's lives on lj, and learning about them.
Like David (New York). He's a great guy, with a fantastic smile. And problems. (low and behold.) And even though his problems suck, i love reading about his life, because there is so much more that he puts in to his updates. Small details, facts, his love of Natalie Portman and Angelina Jolie and That Chick from SVU.
And Krissia, who writes plaintively about how much life sucks when you're lonely. Her retorical questions about why she can't find someone to share life with makes me want to move to New Jersey and have parties all summer and fall and winter and spring long.
I love reading about other people. It's great, and i love the little window into others' lives. They may be writing for the same reasons i wrote, but they're still writing well.
by the way, i graduated.
love ashley