(no subject)
Last night was interesting. I went down to the Ravine with Jay.... and did absoultely nothing thank you very much. He's not my type. But he wanted to "show me the ravine", and even though I think he thought more than that was going to happen that's all he did. He didn't even try to kiss me. Which is is a little more polite than I thought he would be. And he wants to go to college, which I never would have thought, and maybe I WOULD like to have a guy sing to me sometme. And I DID kind of want to make out with him. But I'd never let him know any of that. I'm not here to make friends or have relationships. And relationships mean talking about my family and my past and I am a little to ashamed of those two things, thanks.
Afterwards we went to Karaoke and I met marco and gavin and liberty (pro bono). Everyone was actually pretty chill. Except liberty. I don't think she's a fan of me, but that's really tough. And I supose I can see why. She just can't handle someone being honest with her and thats okay. Whatever.
Marco and I did karaoke together. after three... or maybe four rum and cokes? I have never had that much to drink before. So yes, I "lived out my youth". And then I went home because I had an early dance class today. And because I really do not trust myself that drunk. I REALLY wanted to make out with Jay then. But I'm not going to add my name to his list of girls he's used and tossed away. Not my style thanks. Beneath all this tough act... ACT... I actually am not such a bad person. I just... I guess people like Jay scare me because I know it would just end up in me getting hurt, and I'm not cool with that. I take care of me.
I was twenty minutes late for class this morning. And hung over. My teacher screamed at me and I had to stay en pointe until she told me I could stop. It hurt like a bitch. but it won't be as bad as when my mother finds out that I've been slacking in my dancing. And now I'm going to go work out. again drinking is so bad for you. I'm sure I have so much water weight right now. I disgust muyself. And I will definitely not be eating today. Gotta fast to take care of all of that cheating yesterday.
Thats all for now. Going to marco's party tonight with Jay. Should be interesting to say the very least.
Zzzzara
Afterwards we went to Karaoke and I met marco and gavin and liberty (pro bono). Everyone was actually pretty chill. Except liberty. I don't think she's a fan of me, but that's really tough. And I supose I can see why. She just can't handle someone being honest with her and thats okay. Whatever.
Marco and I did karaoke together. after three... or maybe four rum and cokes? I have never had that much to drink before. So yes, I "lived out my youth". And then I went home because I had an early dance class today. And because I really do not trust myself that drunk. I REALLY wanted to make out with Jay then. But I'm not going to add my name to his list of girls he's used and tossed away. Not my style thanks. Beneath all this tough act... ACT... I actually am not such a bad person. I just... I guess people like Jay scare me because I know it would just end up in me getting hurt, and I'm not cool with that. I take care of me.
I was twenty minutes late for class this morning. And hung over. My teacher screamed at me and I had to stay en pointe until she told me I could stop. It hurt like a bitch. but it won't be as bad as when my mother finds out that I've been slacking in my dancing. And now I'm going to go work out. again drinking is so bad for you. I'm sure I have so much water weight right now. I disgust muyself. And I will definitely not be eating today. Gotta fast to take care of all of that cheating yesterday.
Thats all for now. Going to marco's party tonight with Jay. Should be interesting to say the very least.
Zzzzara