BIENVENUE CHEZ CITADEL!
Hi there, kids. Today features the last installment of something that should've ended 2 weeks ago...Quebec. See, this time we're still in Quebec City, but our location has changed. From the epic walls of the Citadel to the brazen Plains of Abraham, we're going on an historic journey through time, and quite possibly space. Moreso the time factor, though. Oh yeah, s'about war too.
So here's where the mayhem started. I kinda figured my bro'd take a couple skyline-style pictures and we'd be off our merryland way to the train station so's we wouldn't miss our train. Little did I know this was the almost exact opposite of what happened. And boy, am I glad. But check out that old fort. I mean...wowzers! So...big.
Hell, this is the 2nd picture and we still haven't even BEGUN the article! What the Hell's wrong with you, Armagideon Time? Y'see, self, I like to build things up so much that it becomes a huge letdown in the end. It's what I call "screwing people". Anyways, here's a picture of the inside of the Citadel fort. It's really French, I suppose. But we kinda didn't know where to go for tours or anything, so we asked some random passer-by about directions. Oh, we scored. Hard.
So hard, in fact, we found the entrance not too far from where we were standing. This isn't quite the super-entrance, but close enough. Just deal with it. I have a lotta pictures to put up for you.
We found a nice lady that let us pay her cash/money to go on this tour of the Citadel. Our tour guide lucked out with us! Not only were we a tagteam of hilarity(moreso my bro), but we were the ONLY 2 on the tour! At 8 in the morning! And it was her first day! Thank Gawd for Armagideon Time and Sidekick. About the picture: I believe this is the tiny building that held so much honour it'd make a Klingon puke royal blue blood. There was everything from Congressional Medals to Purple Hearts! The real ones, not those eBay things. They were all sealed up so no one could steal 'em. But really, do you need to prove to your girlfriend you're THAT much manlier than Rocko from the Lacrosse team by wearing a medal some French-Canadian won for killing people? ...Umm, sure why not? Rocko's a jackass.
Sorry for the blue language, but it's okay to say things like that when you're in a HOLDING CELL. Boy oh boy, these places must've sucked back then. Not even a chamberpot to poop? It's too bad we didn't get to go inside. That would've been an excellent photo-op. Hmm, don't really have a joke for this picture. It just is what it is. A cell. For crooks.
Bang bang! Lookit these ancient killing machines! To think these trinkets struck the fear of Gawd into the hearts of the wicked. That or magic, I guess. We Canadians don't reveal ALL our secrets. So anyway, these are old rifles. I'm sure Indiana Jones killed a lot of Nazis with these.
This probably looks like the cover art to a lot of punk albums. What is it with the punks and gas masks? Maybe because those crusties never take showers. Gross. But I wonder how much these old relics really DID protect one from gas. It's not like it's 100% gas-proof. If oxygen can make it through, so can trusty mustard gas! Moving on!
Ah, from the tippity-top of the Citadel lies the vast and beautiful landscape of Quebec....from a cannon. Yeah, that's right. Quebec played BOTH sides! What! Enough jokes. Seriously, that view was pretty nice, and high. The cannon was cool, too. All old, metally, shiny, cannon-y. Pfft, let's just see what I'll joke about in the next pic...
Well I sure as Hell ain't makin' fun of MYSELF! But that's me delivering harsh verbosity for the ErrorCast via large cannon. The lady tour guide said I looked amazingly hot. Hahaha no wait, that was me...in my head.
Holy Crap it's a tank. A Full Metal Jacket highly awexomenal tank! Oh man, such a G.I. Joe moment! Okay, back to earth. It was pretty killer seeing a tank. But not as cool as the infantry that surprised us by marching a few feet away. Even in the off-season, they're militarying it up! What troopers!
"OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT!"
It's so beautiful, yet so chaotic. Kinda like looking at the pretty colours you get when you let a cup of yogurt go bad...REALLY bad. Okay bad example. But here's some firepower for our old guns n' cannons and the like. Oh yeah, I should mention that a lot of these pictures were from stuff inside an old bomb shelter. Well, by bomb shelter, I mean where they stored bombs. Yeah, it woulda made for a really bad bomb shelter then. Kinda cool dome-like effect though. Let's look at more old stuff!
Bwahahaha! These people look so stupid! Lookit 'em with the stupid thing! The old thing! Stupid! ...Now that the 13-year old me is done, these suits looked pretty....uncomfortable. And what's with the hairdos? I suppose this was the "it" thing back in the 17th or 18th century. Maybe even the 19th, I lost count. Whenever it was, it looked bizarre. Classy, though. I will say those chaps were classy. Kudos, chaps. Kudos.
Another Cannon?!? Gawddamn, we love blowin' stuff up!
We're nearing the end of this gala event, so I figure a double-shot of the legendary Plains Of Abraham would be a nice near-final touch. This is where the famous Battle Of The Plains Of Abraham took place. Original title, eh? The French and Indians totally smoked those silly Americans! We are always victorious! My feet were starting to feel the pressure of long walks by this time, but I sucked in all the history I could...I was never good at the subject, so I sure sucked a lot. Haha, good one, me!!
You think we're done? Oh no. This is merely the end of the festivities in the province of Quebec! We've still to check out the after-party! I hear Carrot Top's gonna get beat up! I still gotta show you our "departing" pictures. They're kinda cool. So this does for part 3 of my now 4-part mini series. Maybe UPN will pick up the show. Catch you all on the flip flop! It's been a slice!!
Your Bloc Quebecois,
Armagideon Time
So here's where the mayhem started. I kinda figured my bro'd take a couple skyline-style pictures and we'd be off our merryland way to the train station so's we wouldn't miss our train. Little did I know this was the almost exact opposite of what happened. And boy, am I glad. But check out that old fort. I mean...wowzers! So...big.
Hell, this is the 2nd picture and we still haven't even BEGUN the article! What the Hell's wrong with you, Armagideon Time? Y'see, self, I like to build things up so much that it becomes a huge letdown in the end. It's what I call "screwing people". Anyways, here's a picture of the inside of the Citadel fort. It's really French, I suppose. But we kinda didn't know where to go for tours or anything, so we asked some random passer-by about directions. Oh, we scored. Hard.
So hard, in fact, we found the entrance not too far from where we were standing. This isn't quite the super-entrance, but close enough. Just deal with it. I have a lotta pictures to put up for you.
We found a nice lady that let us pay her cash/money to go on this tour of the Citadel. Our tour guide lucked out with us! Not only were we a tagteam of hilarity(moreso my bro), but we were the ONLY 2 on the tour! At 8 in the morning! And it was her first day! Thank Gawd for Armagideon Time and Sidekick. About the picture: I believe this is the tiny building that held so much honour it'd make a Klingon puke royal blue blood. There was everything from Congressional Medals to Purple Hearts! The real ones, not those eBay things. They were all sealed up so no one could steal 'em. But really, do you need to prove to your girlfriend you're THAT much manlier than Rocko from the Lacrosse team by wearing a medal some French-Canadian won for killing people? ...Umm, sure why not? Rocko's a jackass.
Sorry for the blue language, but it's okay to say things like that when you're in a HOLDING CELL. Boy oh boy, these places must've sucked back then. Not even a chamberpot to poop? It's too bad we didn't get to go inside. That would've been an excellent photo-op. Hmm, don't really have a joke for this picture. It just is what it is. A cell. For crooks.
Bang bang! Lookit these ancient killing machines! To think these trinkets struck the fear of Gawd into the hearts of the wicked. That or magic, I guess. We Canadians don't reveal ALL our secrets. So anyway, these are old rifles. I'm sure Indiana Jones killed a lot of Nazis with these.
This probably looks like the cover art to a lot of punk albums. What is it with the punks and gas masks? Maybe because those crusties never take showers. Gross. But I wonder how much these old relics really DID protect one from gas. It's not like it's 100% gas-proof. If oxygen can make it through, so can trusty mustard gas! Moving on!
Ah, from the tippity-top of the Citadel lies the vast and beautiful landscape of Quebec....from a cannon. Yeah, that's right. Quebec played BOTH sides! What! Enough jokes. Seriously, that view was pretty nice, and high. The cannon was cool, too. All old, metally, shiny, cannon-y. Pfft, let's just see what I'll joke about in the next pic...
Well I sure as Hell ain't makin' fun of MYSELF! But that's me delivering harsh verbosity for the ErrorCast via large cannon. The lady tour guide said I looked amazingly hot. Hahaha no wait, that was me...in my head.
Holy Crap it's a tank. A Full Metal Jacket highly awexomenal tank! Oh man, such a G.I. Joe moment! Okay, back to earth. It was pretty killer seeing a tank. But not as cool as the infantry that surprised us by marching a few feet away. Even in the off-season, they're militarying it up! What troopers!
"OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT!"
It's so beautiful, yet so chaotic. Kinda like looking at the pretty colours you get when you let a cup of yogurt go bad...REALLY bad. Okay bad example. But here's some firepower for our old guns n' cannons and the like. Oh yeah, I should mention that a lot of these pictures were from stuff inside an old bomb shelter. Well, by bomb shelter, I mean where they stored bombs. Yeah, it woulda made for a really bad bomb shelter then. Kinda cool dome-like effect though. Let's look at more old stuff!
Bwahahaha! These people look so stupid! Lookit 'em with the stupid thing! The old thing! Stupid! ...Now that the 13-year old me is done, these suits looked pretty....uncomfortable. And what's with the hairdos? I suppose this was the "it" thing back in the 17th or 18th century. Maybe even the 19th, I lost count. Whenever it was, it looked bizarre. Classy, though. I will say those chaps were classy. Kudos, chaps. Kudos.
Another Cannon?!? Gawddamn, we love blowin' stuff up!
We're nearing the end of this gala event, so I figure a double-shot of the legendary Plains Of Abraham would be a nice near-final touch. This is where the famous Battle Of The Plains Of Abraham took place. Original title, eh? The French and Indians totally smoked those silly Americans! We are always victorious! My feet were starting to feel the pressure of long walks by this time, but I sucked in all the history I could...I was never good at the subject, so I sure sucked a lot. Haha, good one, me!!
You think we're done? Oh no. This is merely the end of the festivities in the province of Quebec! We've still to check out the after-party! I hear Carrot Top's gonna get beat up! I still gotta show you our "departing" pictures. They're kinda cool. So this does for part 3 of my now 4-part mini series. Maybe UPN will pick up the show. Catch you all on the flip flop! It's been a slice!!
Your Bloc Quebecois,
Armagideon Time