I'm so chill. No wonder it's freezing.
An amusing fact about myself is that whatever emotional stress or turmoil I'm experiencing, my mind has to analyze, has to find solutions, has to logic itself half to death until I find a suitable explanation for the way I'm feeling. And I kind of love that about myself, but at the same time, I've learned that if you try to have that kind of approach to everything you do, eventually you get caught up in a cycle of intellectual meaninglessness. A Catch-22.
Another interesting fact about myself is that I began this entry with the word "an" because I really like the way the font I set to show up on my LiveJournal homepage writes a's. You probably don't have it so you'll see the ugly second-choice font I selected. Or worse, you're reading this on Facebook. But what really matters is that I'm happy with my own LiveJournal layout, and so I am. For the moment.
I guess the biggest news since I last posted is that Aaron and I have started - and finished - the one-act play we're submitting for the one-acts competition. I'm extremely excited for it, even though it clearly needs work - we haven't a title, and the script runs on for about 22 minutes, taking into account only minimal pauses for the complex staging we've written in. Post-editing, as Aaron calls it, is going to be a terrible nuisance. At the same time, though, I take a little pleasure in the nit picky work of indentation, capitalization, and general formatting issues I'm currently sorting out. It's kind of therapeutic, like solving the same kind of equation over and over again.
Auditions for Millie are also approaching, and in all of my spare time I've been tap dancing, and singing. The song I chose is a lot harder than I initially thought, and I've had to spend inordinate amounts of time just reaching up there for that one note over and over, until I can't remember ever singing it any other way. I don't really have high hopes about getting into the show, although that, of course, would complete my life. But Ms. Hartman told me that she'll allow me to interview for an assistant stage manager position after auditions are over if I don't get in, so I win either way. Of course, I've been gut-achingly nervous for auditions for the last two months, so I'll probably have an ulcer by 3:30 next Tuesday, which will render singing difficult.
It's been making me depressed, how obviously behind I am in singing, dancing, even acting in comparison to my fellow thespians. But I've realized that I've been focusing only on what I can't do, rather than what I can do well. It's like back when I was seven, and I had Pokémon red version, and my friend Melia had Pokémon blue version, and it always looked better because it was the one I didn't have. I'm not a trained singer or dancer, but I'll improve with practice. Writing is something on which you can improve, but I've always known I had natural skill at it, and my ability to communicate makes me look talented at other academic pursuits, even though I am frankly mediocre at many of them. For example, I can do a great math geek impression, but in reality I don't know a derivative from an integral. I find myself chanting those few lines from The Last Five Years over and over: I am a good person. I'm an attractive person. I am a talented person. until I finally make myself believe it. I am happy with who I am, and I'm even happier knowing I will continue to improve as long as I continue to love whatever it is at which I'm trying to improve. And with theatre? I don't think my love for it will ever fade or diminish. I am in love with theatre. I am IN LOVE.
I need this shirt. Just as a shout-out to XKCD for making the best comics ever.
Abruptly yours,
- Jessica
Another interesting fact about myself is that I began this entry with the word "an" because I really like the way the font I set to show up on my LiveJournal homepage writes a's. You probably don't have it so you'll see the ugly second-choice font I selected. Or worse, you're reading this on Facebook. But what really matters is that I'm happy with my own LiveJournal layout, and so I am. For the moment.
I guess the biggest news since I last posted is that Aaron and I have started - and finished - the one-act play we're submitting for the one-acts competition. I'm extremely excited for it, even though it clearly needs work - we haven't a title, and the script runs on for about 22 minutes, taking into account only minimal pauses for the complex staging we've written in. Post-editing, as Aaron calls it, is going to be a terrible nuisance. At the same time, though, I take a little pleasure in the nit picky work of indentation, capitalization, and general formatting issues I'm currently sorting out. It's kind of therapeutic, like solving the same kind of equation over and over again.
Auditions for Millie are also approaching, and in all of my spare time I've been tap dancing, and singing. The song I chose is a lot harder than I initially thought, and I've had to spend inordinate amounts of time just reaching up there for that one note over and over, until I can't remember ever singing it any other way. I don't really have high hopes about getting into the show, although that, of course, would complete my life. But Ms. Hartman told me that she'll allow me to interview for an assistant stage manager position after auditions are over if I don't get in, so I win either way. Of course, I've been gut-achingly nervous for auditions for the last two months, so I'll probably have an ulcer by 3:30 next Tuesday, which will render singing difficult.
It's been making me depressed, how obviously behind I am in singing, dancing, even acting in comparison to my fellow thespians. But I've realized that I've been focusing only on what I can't do, rather than what I can do well. It's like back when I was seven, and I had Pokémon red version, and my friend Melia had Pokémon blue version, and it always looked better because it was the one I didn't have. I'm not a trained singer or dancer, but I'll improve with practice. Writing is something on which you can improve, but I've always known I had natural skill at it, and my ability to communicate makes me look talented at other academic pursuits, even though I am frankly mediocre at many of them. For example, I can do a great math geek impression, but in reality I don't know a derivative from an integral. I find myself chanting those few lines from The Last Five Years over and over: I am a good person. I'm an attractive person. I am a talented person. until I finally make myself believe it. I am happy with who I am, and I'm even happier knowing I will continue to improve as long as I continue to love whatever it is at which I'm trying to improve. And with theatre? I don't think my love for it will ever fade or diminish. I am in love with theatre. I am IN LOVE.
I need this shirt. Just as a shout-out to XKCD for making the best comics ever.
Abruptly yours,
- Jessica