God.
My heart is like my persona namesake right now: small and fluttering and scared.
High class problem: Have two dueling job offers. Have pretty much decided on one just now. This is very exciting and validates me professionally and it's just, without making this an unbearably long story, a really good thing. So, have to sort that out, decline one. Hate turning people down. But I can do it. And have to get a hold (argh) of current boss and give notice. Mixed feelings about that too. Confrontation: not really my area.
More importantly though: my husband is ridiculously depressed and is acting oddly lately. Not sure what this is about. And this is particularly unusual for me/us, because he tells me fucking everything. Or at least, we used to tell each other everything.
It's not a stretch to say I have saved his life before with talking. And definitely saved his heart. It's been a while since those days, and we're different now than we were then, of course - such is the nature of the Long Term Relationship - no one can be in the First Flush forever.
But I really don't know what this is about. And I ALWAYS know what's about. Either he tells me, or he doesn't want to tell me and I figure it out and we talk it though, or he doesn't know what it's about yet, just that he's bothered by it and then we figure it out together.
But I don't get this one. At all. Drawing a blank. And the not knowing frightens me.
Uuuuugh, crazy days. Crazy heart. At least Cabin Pressure was amazing this morning. Otters. We shall put our Faith in a Hundred Otters today, and We Shall Prevail.
I hope.
High class problem: Have two dueling job offers. Have pretty much decided on one just now. This is very exciting and validates me professionally and it's just, without making this an unbearably long story, a really good thing. So, have to sort that out, decline one. Hate turning people down. But I can do it. And have to get a hold (argh) of current boss and give notice. Mixed feelings about that too. Confrontation: not really my area.
More importantly though: my husband is ridiculously depressed and is acting oddly lately. Not sure what this is about. And this is particularly unusual for me/us, because he tells me fucking everything. Or at least, we used to tell each other everything.
It's not a stretch to say I have saved his life before with talking. And definitely saved his heart. It's been a while since those days, and we're different now than we were then, of course - such is the nature of the Long Term Relationship - no one can be in the First Flush forever.
But I really don't know what this is about. And I ALWAYS know what's about. Either he tells me, or he doesn't want to tell me and I figure it out and we talk it though, or he doesn't know what it's about yet, just that he's bothered by it and then we figure it out together.
But I don't get this one. At all. Drawing a blank. And the not knowing frightens me.
Uuuuugh, crazy days. Crazy heart. At least Cabin Pressure was amazing this morning. Otters. We shall put our Faith in a Hundred Otters today, and We Shall Prevail.
I hope.