WHAT BITCH!?
So I'm sitting in line at Boomer's in a frigging half an hour wait for the go karts. The line is outside, and that fact is important later in the story so remember it. This guy cuts in front of me, rude as possible, like I fuckin' owe him the spot in front of me, and I'm all like what the fuck? Guy just blows me off and just walks right by like I'm some fucking worm. Well, I'm like whatever after a bit, it was just one guy right? Wrong. Ten minutes later he's gotta sneak like 3 more people past me. Not gonna fucking happen. I'm all like, "I fucking waited, why the fuck can't you, asshole?" Oh and before I go any further, let me describe this asshole and his buddies. We've got the arse himself who looks like an ugly version of a walking bowling ball, his "wife" that makes Ashlee fucking Stewart look like a Playboy model, and his brother who's a dead ringer to be the Missing Fucking Link. So, there like, "One of us waited, so we're allowed to cut." FUCK. NO. SO NOT THE WAY IT WORKS. So in my usuall charm and grace I manage to piss all three of them off by usuing a total of less than 20 words. "How about you go take your excuse and go fuck yourself and wait like everybody else you self ritous buttfuck?" What followed next was a retard trying to piss off a world class smartass. Never pit a retard against someone who could get a corspe pissed off enough to come back from the dead just to slap him around.
Such exchanges like "You wanna take this outside?" "We're already outside you goddamn idiot. Jesus."
and the equally cerebral "Go fuck yourself fatass." "Jesus you idiot, you've gotta outweigh me by at least 50 pounds in the ass area alone, so I'd shut the fuck up if I where you."
Finally, I get this gem. "Yeah, well you'll shut the hell up when we're waiting for you in the parking lot and we kick your ass."
And I reply. "Here's the thing about that. Your all talk. That's it jizz gobbler. And I'm the one who isn't gonna back down from your bull shit and I'll meet you out there. And when I do, I'm gonna break your nose."
He gets quiet. Like something finally clicked in that fat skull of his that his chunky ass couldn't take someone a foot and a half taller and a hell of alot stronger than him. He gets on the go karts first, and we get the next session. I go outside with my buddies and HOLY TAP DANCING CHRIST ON A GODDAMNED CRUCIFIX, the guy up and vanished like a fart in the wind. Holy friggin' buttshit, who didn't see that coming?
Such exchanges like "You wanna take this outside?" "We're already outside you goddamn idiot. Jesus."
and the equally cerebral "Go fuck yourself fatass." "Jesus you idiot, you've gotta outweigh me by at least 50 pounds in the ass area alone, so I'd shut the fuck up if I where you."
Finally, I get this gem. "Yeah, well you'll shut the hell up when we're waiting for you in the parking lot and we kick your ass."
And I reply. "Here's the thing about that. Your all talk. That's it jizz gobbler. And I'm the one who isn't gonna back down from your bull shit and I'll meet you out there. And when I do, I'm gonna break your nose."
He gets quiet. Like something finally clicked in that fat skull of his that his chunky ass couldn't take someone a foot and a half taller and a hell of alot stronger than him. He gets on the go karts first, and we get the next session. I go outside with my buddies and HOLY TAP DANCING CHRIST ON A GODDAMNED CRUCIFIX, the guy up and vanished like a fart in the wind. Holy friggin' buttshit, who didn't see that coming?