DAY NUMBER ONE
so ya, after coughing up a lung the other day (who knew there was so much mucus in there!) i looked at what my body had just done. it was disgusting
-- it was like i was vomiting - but everything was coming out of my lungs....
then i started putting the pieces together
- bad health this fall
- long bout of bronchitis and a knock-em-dead flu
- chronic cough
- chronic cough/bronchitis/colds in the fall
so ya-- smokin has been takin a real bite out of me -
after i lungvomited, i felt like the inside of me was a huge cavity. i was breathing in like i had never before. it was the oddest thing-- i could feel the additional oxygen flowing into my blood stream. later i had a smoke and everything closed up like before.
i quit today
i am going to be stubborn
this is not the right time- being the end of school term and everything
but if i don't do it while i have the motivation (and the humility) and i come back to winnipeg and take it up again, well i just know it will spiral out of control
i'm on the patch, i'm jittery beyond comprehension
but dammit this is it
really shitty cartoons i found in my withdrawl haze
i bought a bottle red label to cut the edge off...
Jennings starts smoking (and i would have too!) and dies soon after
wish me luck - i'll ned all the positive support i can get - but don't give me a hard time!!!!