HEADACHES BLOW
so...everythings okay...right? I don't know anymore. I know that theres no use fighting it, I'm already gone. in stupid love. not a lame kinda thinking maybe, but a for sure kind. ive only felt like 2 other times, maybe just one. but w/e, this is my 3rd. Marcus is so great, I mean...idk how to explain it honestly. I just...honestly love the boy. He makes me happier than I've ever felt, and he treats me really great. I really don't feel like I deserve him. He's just amazing and he deserves so much better than me...but he chose me anyway. I try to be the best I can be for him. I think I can do it. I can be real good for him. He thinks its funny when I hit someone when they'll touch him jokingly or something, he thinks its cute because I'm so protective. He says its badass to have that. well, while he thinks its funny and stuff...i'm actually seroius. I won't fight anyone over the little pats or something, but I'll always get mad. even if its a guy thats doing it, I get mad. and I feel like I have to hit them or scratch just to get them off because...hes mine, you know? everyone thinks its a joke, which techinally it is but anyone ever actually tried something, i'd beat the shit out of them. for real. Andrew jokes around and tries to see what I'll do. he's done it enough times to where I actually hurt him, not just a sting for a few seconds, it actually stuck. so he learned. Marcus just thought it was awesome. yes, I'd do just about anything for him. I know I've said this already but it still amazes me that we're together. 2 months was tuesday, 25th! its badass that he remembers too. may 25th, 12:00am. I remember because I walked in the door at 12:01. hes my favorite person right now. yes I've been getting shit from Daniel and Steven because I haven't had much time to hang out with them but...what can I say? I love spending time with my boyfriend, and theres nothing wrong with that. Like Daniel, he actually got pissed because I didn't hang out with him on Tuesday because I was with Marcus and me and Daniel usually do something every tuesday. Well, he told me a lot of shit, like I could go die and shit and that he hated me. wtf right? I don't care, I wouldn't take it back because I mean... it was me and Marcus's 2 month anniversary, and I've never really done the whole hang out with eachother on the day. so yes, I wanted to be with him. and I'm very glad I was.
He left today tho. Andrew had to go pick up his little brother from Dallas so he took Marcus with him. I don't know why, but it sucks. He's not gonna be back until like sunday so...I'm sad. I miss him already. We always do stuff on fridays and saturdays...not this week. He was suppose to stay at his moms but couldn't. he should have just stayed home, jeez. oh well, I guess I can handle a few days...ehh I don't want to tho! I feel like being greedy with wanting him to myself but I won't do that. Thats just stupid. I hate some of his friends. Shannon came over on wednesday when we were at Jackies...his ex gf and she was just someone in general that I didn't like when I met her in school. I don't know why, shes real nice. I'm just not sure about her yet. Garys cool, but he left. Andrew was being weird with Jackie...but I think I'm cool with David now. I just want this weekend to be over with. Like...I just wanna be able to sleep through it. isn't that sad? its not just because hes not here, its also the fact that I'm getting sick and feel like shit. I don't get headaches like ever, but I have one now...have had it just about all day and some of yesterday. sore throat is killing me...if you touch below my jaw, it hurts like shit and I don't know why. kinda dizzy sometimes, my lower back hurt...kidneys w/e. iuno, at least my nose isn't too fucked up to add to things. aslo next weekend is gonna be better I think because Marcus had said that me, Andrew, and Riley are gonna go to his house and drink yay. I don't know, we'll prolly just end up at Jackies and share with them but I'd rather stay at Marcus's. idk who else hes gonna invite either, I'm sure someone.
I really wanna go to the hookah bar again, because Daniel wants to go tomorrow with Philip and Sammi but...if cigs hurt to smoke with this throat I can only imagine what the hookah will do. oh well, we'll see. I don't even know if I wanna go out anywhere tomorrow. I need to feel better before I'm out doing shit. idk, I need to chill with Steven since I haven't in so long and I miss him! heh I also need to get my ipod back. I need to chill with Jose, he always makes me feel so much better. I swear, no matter what mood I'm in, he'll always make me forget about things and just smile the entire time. thats when he told me too tho, that he just feels better when hes around me. His girlfriend would trip out if we hung out tho, shes apparently real paranoid. we're not gonna do anything, I wouldn't treat Marcus like that...just like Jose wouldn't treat Claire like that. you gotta have trust with these things. He wants me to roll with him...so does Travis...I wonder if I ever will. Daniel said he'd get so pissed but...w/e. I'm curoius. maybe, someday.
I think I'm gonna take some more cold medicine so I can fall asleep soon. because last night when I took it, I slept so good. Didn't wake up once, it was nice since I haven't done that in weeks. I think I have a fever
He left today tho. Andrew had to go pick up his little brother from Dallas so he took Marcus with him. I don't know why, but it sucks. He's not gonna be back until like sunday so...I'm sad. I miss him already. We always do stuff on fridays and saturdays...not this week. He was suppose to stay at his moms but couldn't. he should have just stayed home, jeez. oh well, I guess I can handle a few days...ehh I don't want to tho! I feel like being greedy with wanting him to myself but I won't do that. Thats just stupid. I hate some of his friends. Shannon came over on wednesday when we were at Jackies...his ex gf and she was just someone in general that I didn't like when I met her in school. I don't know why, shes real nice. I'm just not sure about her yet. Garys cool, but he left. Andrew was being weird with Jackie...but I think I'm cool with David now. I just want this weekend to be over with. Like...I just wanna be able to sleep through it. isn't that sad? its not just because hes not here, its also the fact that I'm getting sick and feel like shit. I don't get headaches like ever, but I have one now...have had it just about all day and some of yesterday. sore throat is killing me...if you touch below my jaw, it hurts like shit and I don't know why. kinda dizzy sometimes, my lower back hurt...kidneys w/e. iuno, at least my nose isn't too fucked up to add to things. aslo next weekend is gonna be better I think because Marcus had said that me, Andrew, and Riley are gonna go to his house and drink yay. I don't know, we'll prolly just end up at Jackies and share with them but I'd rather stay at Marcus's. idk who else hes gonna invite either, I'm sure someone.
I really wanna go to the hookah bar again, because Daniel wants to go tomorrow with Philip and Sammi but...if cigs hurt to smoke with this throat I can only imagine what the hookah will do. oh well, we'll see. I don't even know if I wanna go out anywhere tomorrow. I need to feel better before I'm out doing shit. idk, I need to chill with Steven since I haven't in so long and I miss him! heh I also need to get my ipod back. I need to chill with Jose, he always makes me feel so much better. I swear, no matter what mood I'm in, he'll always make me forget about things and just smile the entire time. thats when he told me too tho, that he just feels better when hes around me. His girlfriend would trip out if we hung out tho, shes apparently real paranoid. we're not gonna do anything, I wouldn't treat Marcus like that...just like Jose wouldn't treat Claire like that. you gotta have trust with these things. He wants me to roll with him...so does Travis...I wonder if I ever will. Daniel said he'd get so pissed but...w/e. I'm curoius. maybe, someday.
I think I'm gonna take some more cold medicine so I can fall asleep soon. because last night when I took it, I slept so good. Didn't wake up once, it was nice since I haven't done that in weeks. I think I have a fever