Torchwood IMs: PC Andy's Application
Title: PC Andy's Application
Chapter: 29
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Andy Davidson
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: "Where did Andy go???" you ask. Well, I'll tell ye ...
01 | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
02 | Ianto and Southern Comfort
03 | Skiving with Captain Andy
04 | Ianto and Jack's IMs
05 | Tosh? Gossiping? Never!
06 | What Toshiko Saw ... (Prose)
07 | Captain Andy handles the Force
08 | Ianto and SOCO Strikes Back
09 | Into the Boardroom (Prose)
10 | Ianto's, Tosh's, Gwen and Jack's IMs
11 | Ianto and Rhys' IMs
12 | Obtained File: CPD/Torchwood Liaison Meeting #13
13 | What Toshiko Wants (Prose)
14 | The In-Laws
15 | Mike
16 | Ianto and Jack's Snuggles
17 | Sorry, mam ... I mean ... Gwen
18 | Kisses (Prose)
19 | Australia
20 | White and Nerdy
21 | I Didn't Miss You (Prose)
22 | Gwen and Rhiannon's IMs
23 | The Waiting Room
24 | The Glitch (Interactive)
25 | Obtained File: Torchwood/CPD Liaison Meeting #14
26 | Ianto and Rhys VS SOCO and Cool
27 | Ianto and Rhys VS SOCO and Cool (Translation)
28 | Ianto and Gwen: The Morning After
29 |
JACK has entered the conversation
JACK: IANTO IANTO IANTO IANTO IANTO!!
MR JONES: What?
JACK: I’ve figured out that if we cut back on coffee consumption, buy less takeaway, send the SUV to the garage less and you sell your flat .... TORCHWOOD CAN GET A JET!!
MR JONES: I’m not selling my flat so that you can pretend to be Batman.
JACK: But but but! Imagine it now!! You’ve been kidnapped by some strange alien race that bases itself in Cornwall and wants to keep you as their pet. I have three hours before they’re going to take off ... well, I can’t drive that distance in three hours! What do we need? MFANWY 2.0!!!
MR JONES: Fair point.
MR JONES: ... but still. No.
JACK: Oh please!
MR JONES: 1) You don’t have a pilot’s license.
MR JONES: 2) You’ll be bored with it after a week and it won’t be used again.
MR JONES: 3) Where would we keep it?
MR JONES: 4) Even if we did get a jet, we couldn’t afford the upkeep and/or fuel.
MR JONES: 5) YOU. ARE. NOT. BATMAN.
JACK: Like you said, 5% of what’s in the archives could turn any one of us into Batman.
MR JONES: I wish I’d never said that now.
JACK: Can I keep the leather costume? ;)
MR JONES: What leather costume?
JACK: Oh ... did I not tell you about that??
JACK: Ianto, can I order a leather Batman costume?
MR JONES: No.
JACK: Too late.
MR JONES: Send it back.
JACK: Awwwww why???
MR JONES: I prefer X-MEN.
JACK: Which one?
MR JONES: Storm - as played by Halle Berry.
JACK: I can’t be Storm. She’s a girrrrl. *ick* ;)
MR JONES: You asked me which one I preferred and that was the one.
JACK: You prefer Storm over Batman?
MR JONES: Maybe not over George Clooney’s Batman, now I think about it.
JACK: You know, he used to be on “ER”.
MR JONES: Yes I did know.
MR JONES: ... I told you.
JACK: Oh.
JACK: Seeee! The stuff you tell me does go in somewhere!
MR JONES: brb the emergency phone’s ringing.
JACK: kk.
MR JONES: back.
JACK: :)
MR JONES: Bloody Andy Davidson again. The firewall’s gonna bleep in a minute when he starts bitching to the world that he can’t get a job at Torchwood again.
JACK: Maybe we should give in and employ him.
MR JONES: What would he do? We’ve got the HR skills we need in Gwen.
JACK: Mmmm. OOo!
JACK: ... he could make the coffee!
MR JONES: *thud*
MR JONES has left the conversation
~*~*~*~
Jack leaned back from his computer and stretched.
“MR JONES has left the conversation” it declared.
He could hear Ianto’s footsteps almost stamping through the cog door from the Tourist Centre.
The Captain smiled to himself. Angry sex was the best.
~*~*~*~
6:58 PM
MR JONES has entered the conversation
MR JONES: Oi.
CAPTAIN ANDY: Oh. Hi.
MR JONES: Will you please, please, please stop using the emergency phone line? I’ve told you, Jack’s told you, I’ve told you again, Gwen’s told you and I think I might have reminded you via email and paper post a couple of times: DO. NOT. USE. THE. EMERGENCY. LINE.
CAPTAIN ANDY: I’d be good for Torchwood! A fresh eye! You know recently, they solved a murder case because I noticed something that even the forensics missed!
MR JONES: That’s wonderful Andy, but we need different kinds of skills at Torchwood.
CAPTAIN ANDY: When did your captain tell me about not using the phone line? All I seem to remember him doing is giving me the number himself.
MR JONES: ... what?
CAPTAIN ANDY: You’re not even going to submit my name for consideration, are you?
MR JONES: If you tell me why the Captain gave you the number, I might consider throwing your name into a meeting.
CAPTAIN ANDY: He said that if I kept ringing you and making you annoyed, he’d consider me for a job.
MR JONES: You what????
MR JONES has left the conversation
JACK: Thanks Andy!
CAPTAIN ANDY: Any time.
CAPTAIN ANDY: sooo ... when do I get my interview?
JACK: Oh ... erm .... you’ll have to sort it out with Ianto.
JACK: Appointments and meetings and the general running of the organisation is down to him so ... ring him.
CAPTAIN ANDY: On what number?
JACK: I have to go - ring him on the number I gave you.
JACK has left the conversation
CAPTAIN ANDY: Won’t he go a bit mental?
~*~*~*~
Jack leaned back from his computer and stretched.
He could hear Ianto’s footsteps almost stamping through the cog door from the Tourist Centre.
The Captain smiled to himself. Angry sex really was the best.
~*~*~*~
9:03 AM
JACK has entered the conversation
JACK: Hello again!
MR JONES: *shifty eyes* didn’t I see you a minute ago?
JACK: Yes ... yes I think you did ...
MR JONES: In your bed, if I remember rightly ...
JACK: Hehehe.
MR JONES: Anyways ... the business day has begun!
JACK: The business day doesn’t begin until we get reports of something spooky :-P
MR JONES: Well ... let’s see if you think this is spooky ...
JACK: Do enlighten me.
MR JONES: PC Andy Davidson rang again this morning. I’ve literally just got off the phone from him. Apparently you told him to ring me and I would set up an appointment for interview for him.
JACK: Hahaha. What did you say to him? I hope you weren’t too mean ... I did just want you angry at me ...
MR JONES: Oh no. I wasn’t angry at him at all. After all, it was you that told him to ring ... and I suppose, he is quite sweet and lovely. I bet we could make it work with him on the team ...
JACK: Wha ... ?
MR JONES: You see, that’s the spooky thing that happened this morning ...
JACK: You didn’t!
MR JONES: Andy rang asking for a job ... and I professionally - and in good grace - booked him in for interview.
JACK has left the conversation
~*~*~*~
Ianto leaned back in his chair and stretched.
“JACK has left the conversation” it declared.
He could hear the Captain’s footsteps almost stamping through the cog door on his way to the Tourist Centre.
Ianto smiled to himself. Angry sex really, really was the best.
FIN
Everybody loves Andy! Unfortunately though, Jack only sees him as a means to get his man into bed ... *sigh* silly Jack!
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic
Chapter: 29
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Andy Davidson
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: "Where did Andy go???" you ask. Well, I'll tell ye ...
01 | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
02 | Ianto and Southern Comfort
03 | Skiving with Captain Andy
04 | Ianto and Jack's IMs
05 | Tosh? Gossiping? Never!
06 | What Toshiko Saw ... (Prose)
07 | Captain Andy handles the Force
08 | Ianto and SOCO Strikes Back
09 | Into the Boardroom (Prose)
10 | Ianto's, Tosh's, Gwen and Jack's IMs
11 | Ianto and Rhys' IMs
12 | Obtained File: CPD/Torchwood Liaison Meeting #13
13 | What Toshiko Wants (Prose)
14 | The In-Laws
15 | Mike
16 | Ianto and Jack's Snuggles
17 | Sorry, mam ... I mean ... Gwen
18 | Kisses (Prose)
19 | Australia
20 | White and Nerdy
21 | I Didn't Miss You (Prose)
22 | Gwen and Rhiannon's IMs
23 | The Waiting Room
24 | The Glitch (Interactive)
25 | Obtained File: Torchwood/CPD Liaison Meeting #14
26 | Ianto and Rhys VS SOCO and Cool
27 | Ianto and Rhys VS SOCO and Cool (Translation)
28 | Ianto and Gwen: The Morning After
29 |
JACK has entered the conversation
JACK: IANTO IANTO IANTO IANTO IANTO!!
MR JONES: What?
JACK: I’ve figured out that if we cut back on coffee consumption, buy less takeaway, send the SUV to the garage less and you sell your flat .... TORCHWOOD CAN GET A JET!!
MR JONES: I’m not selling my flat so that you can pretend to be Batman.
JACK: But but but! Imagine it now!! You’ve been kidnapped by some strange alien race that bases itself in Cornwall and wants to keep you as their pet. I have three hours before they’re going to take off ... well, I can’t drive that distance in three hours! What do we need? MFANWY 2.0!!!
MR JONES: Fair point.
MR JONES: ... but still. No.
JACK: Oh please!
MR JONES: 1) You don’t have a pilot’s license.
MR JONES: 2) You’ll be bored with it after a week and it won’t be used again.
MR JONES: 3) Where would we keep it?
MR JONES: 4) Even if we did get a jet, we couldn’t afford the upkeep and/or fuel.
MR JONES: 5) YOU. ARE. NOT. BATMAN.
JACK: Like you said, 5% of what’s in the archives could turn any one of us into Batman.
MR JONES: I wish I’d never said that now.
JACK: Can I keep the leather costume? ;)
MR JONES: What leather costume?
JACK: Oh ... did I not tell you about that??
JACK: Ianto, can I order a leather Batman costume?
MR JONES: No.
JACK: Too late.
MR JONES: Send it back.
JACK: Awwwww why???
MR JONES: I prefer X-MEN.
JACK: Which one?
MR JONES: Storm - as played by Halle Berry.
JACK: I can’t be Storm. She’s a girrrrl. *ick* ;)
MR JONES: You asked me which one I preferred and that was the one.
JACK: You prefer Storm over Batman?
MR JONES: Maybe not over George Clooney’s Batman, now I think about it.
JACK: You know, he used to be on “ER”.
MR JONES: Yes I did know.
MR JONES: ... I told you.
JACK: Oh.
JACK: Seeee! The stuff you tell me does go in somewhere!
MR JONES: brb the emergency phone’s ringing.
JACK: kk.
MR JONES: back.
JACK: :)
MR JONES: Bloody Andy Davidson again. The firewall’s gonna bleep in a minute when he starts bitching to the world that he can’t get a job at Torchwood again.
JACK: Maybe we should give in and employ him.
MR JONES: What would he do? We’ve got the HR skills we need in Gwen.
JACK: Mmmm. OOo!
JACK: ... he could make the coffee!
MR JONES: *thud*
MR JONES has left the conversation
~*~*~*~
Jack leaned back from his computer and stretched.
“MR JONES has left the conversation” it declared.
He could hear Ianto’s footsteps almost stamping through the cog door from the Tourist Centre.
The Captain smiled to himself. Angry sex was the best.
~*~*~*~
6:58 PM
MR JONES has entered the conversation
MR JONES: Oi.
CAPTAIN ANDY: Oh. Hi.
MR JONES: Will you please, please, please stop using the emergency phone line? I’ve told you, Jack’s told you, I’ve told you again, Gwen’s told you and I think I might have reminded you via email and paper post a couple of times: DO. NOT. USE. THE. EMERGENCY. LINE.
CAPTAIN ANDY: I’d be good for Torchwood! A fresh eye! You know recently, they solved a murder case because I noticed something that even the forensics missed!
MR JONES: That’s wonderful Andy, but we need different kinds of skills at Torchwood.
CAPTAIN ANDY: When did your captain tell me about not using the phone line? All I seem to remember him doing is giving me the number himself.
MR JONES: ... what?
CAPTAIN ANDY: You’re not even going to submit my name for consideration, are you?
MR JONES: If you tell me why the Captain gave you the number, I might consider throwing your name into a meeting.
CAPTAIN ANDY: He said that if I kept ringing you and making you annoyed, he’d consider me for a job.
MR JONES: You what????
MR JONES has left the conversation
JACK: Thanks Andy!
CAPTAIN ANDY: Any time.
CAPTAIN ANDY: sooo ... when do I get my interview?
JACK: Oh ... erm .... you’ll have to sort it out with Ianto.
JACK: Appointments and meetings and the general running of the organisation is down to him so ... ring him.
CAPTAIN ANDY: On what number?
JACK: I have to go - ring him on the number I gave you.
JACK has left the conversation
CAPTAIN ANDY: Won’t he go a bit mental?
~*~*~*~
Jack leaned back from his computer and stretched.
He could hear Ianto’s footsteps almost stamping through the cog door from the Tourist Centre.
The Captain smiled to himself. Angry sex really was the best.
~*~*~*~
9:03 AM
JACK has entered the conversation
JACK: Hello again!
MR JONES: *shifty eyes* didn’t I see you a minute ago?
JACK: Yes ... yes I think you did ...
MR JONES: In your bed, if I remember rightly ...
JACK: Hehehe.
MR JONES: Anyways ... the business day has begun!
JACK: The business day doesn’t begin until we get reports of something spooky :-P
MR JONES: Well ... let’s see if you think this is spooky ...
JACK: Do enlighten me.
MR JONES: PC Andy Davidson rang again this morning. I’ve literally just got off the phone from him. Apparently you told him to ring me and I would set up an appointment for interview for him.
JACK: Hahaha. What did you say to him? I hope you weren’t too mean ... I did just want you angry at me ...
MR JONES: Oh no. I wasn’t angry at him at all. After all, it was you that told him to ring ... and I suppose, he is quite sweet and lovely. I bet we could make it work with him on the team ...
JACK: Wha ... ?
MR JONES: You see, that’s the spooky thing that happened this morning ...
JACK: You didn’t!
MR JONES: Andy rang asking for a job ... and I professionally - and in good grace - booked him in for interview.
JACK has left the conversation
~*~*~*~
Ianto leaned back in his chair and stretched.
“JACK has left the conversation” it declared.
He could hear the Captain’s footsteps almost stamping through the cog door on his way to the Tourist Centre.
Ianto smiled to himself. Angry sex really, really was the best.
FIN
Everybody loves Andy! Unfortunately though, Jack only sees him as a means to get his man into bed ... *sigh* silly Jack!
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic