RTD JEENYUS - Doctor Who-related post
Right, so:
My friend holyfrell had the idea to figure out whether or not there's an episode of DW from The Christmas Invasion to The End of Time Part II where the Doctor doesn't get attacked or injured. We've put our heads together managed to find something for every one of the 45 episodes in question, but below the cut is our list copied and pasted directly to see if you guys might be able to come up with something....
RTD's Dramatic Devices: How To Write A SuperAwesome!RTD-JEENYUS script
1. Christmas Invasion - Knocked around, punched in the stomach... Hand Chopped Off.
2. New Earth - Knocked out by Cassandra/Rose and bangs head on containment thing.
3. Tooth and Claw - Didn't he get punched or something?
4. The Girl in the Fireplace - Has to suffer madam POMPUS in his head... Broken hearts :(
5. Rise of the Cybermen - Gets knocked around a bit.
6. The Age of Steel - Nearly killed by a cyberman etc.
7. The Idiots Lantern - Knocked out by guard person with a 'helluva right/left hook'.
8. The Impossible Planet - Loses his TARDIS - emotional pain.
9. Satan's Pit - Falls down a hole and faces falling into a black hole with the mindless demon thing.
10. Love and Monsters - Suffered the company of Elton.
11. Fear Her - Get's drawn by the girl with the pencils and disappears for a bit.
12. Army of Ghosts - Gets knocked about a bit.
13. Doomsday - Loses Rose.
14. The Runaway Bride - slapped by Donna
15. Smith and Jones - had all his blood sucked out of him by not-vampire + oxygen loss
16. The Shakespeare Code - Has one of his hearts stopped by the not-witch.
17. Gridlock - Loses the face of Boe - emotional pain.
18. Daleks in Manhattan - Gets knocked about.
19. Evolution of the Daleks - Tries to get killed by the Dalek. Electrocuted instead of Dalekanium
20. The Lazarus Experiment - Gets slapped by Martha's mum.
21. 42 - Get's possessed by a sun and then frozen below -200 by Martha.
22. Human Nature - Chameleon Arch agony and falls backwards down stairs
23. Family of Blood - broken heart, chameleon arch agony
24. Blink - sent back to 1969
25. Utopia - had his TARDIS nicked/tortured by the reappearance of the Master
26. The Sound of Drums - aged about 900 years and punched by the Master
27. The Last of the Time Lords - suffered the indignity of being forced to be Tinkerbell
xx- Time Crash - Younger generation doesn't recognise him... ?
28. Voyage of the Damned - lost Astrid, and has to save the crashing ship. And the crash of Titanic into the TARDIS
29. Partners in Crime - the whole window cleaner's car incident, plus Sarah Lancashire chasing him in killer heels 'cause she's a BAMF
30. The Fires of Pompeii - Gets knocked about a bit and has to cope with destroying Pompeii.
31. Planet of the Ood - Gets tied up, knocked about a bit and suffers hearing the Ood song of captivity.
32. The Sontaran Stratagem - gets knocked around a bit and almost poisoned by the sontaran smoke.
33. The Poison Sky - left thinking he's about to kill himself by blowing up the sontaran ship, but instead gets zapped back to earth and slapped hard by Donna.
34. The Doctor's Daughter - Has his hand ripped open, gets knocked about a bit, then loses his 'daughter'.
35. The Unicorn and the Wasp - cyanide poisoning and gets 'shocked' by Donna and slapped
36. Silence in the Library - loses Donna, and several of the team
37. The Forest of the Dead - loses River, and has to watch her suffer and die
38. Midnight - possessed by evil alien that nobody really understood the motivation of
39. Turn Left - got made dead :O
40. The Stolen Earth - wasted a regeneration after being shot by a Dalek.
41. Journey's End - Zapped by Davros a lot. The Doctor's clone is doomed to a life with Rose.
42. The Next Doctor - suffered the company of 'Rosita' ... Gets knocked about a bit by cybermen etc. Dragged by cybershade and burns arse on wooden floor.
43. Planet of the Dead - sucked through wormhole, kidnapped by giant flies, suffered moral deterioration when he allowed a leisure criminal walk free.
44.. Waters of Mars - had to make not-funny jokes about bicycles then got electrocuted by the control unit of the annoying robot - plus complete mental break down and suffers seeing that woman commit suicide, then the Ood reappear with riddles.
45. The End of Time Part 1 - Zapped by the Master a bit - emotional pain from seeing the Master again. Minnie pinches his arse. Has a break down in front of Wilf.
46. The End of Time Part 2 - suffers a multitude of things, incl. falling from a height, then gets extreme radiation poisoning (that in Smith and Jones didn't bother him as it was minor and not much worse than an x-ray, but still he can channel radiation out of his body either way- he's been killed before by radiation though Then RTD shouldn't have set that canon in S&J - he's a cunt... True. So pointing out his STUPID is good for us.) but this time it kills him. Spends half an hour wandering around doing fuck all interesting then goes all emo and karks it.
My friend holyfrell had the idea to figure out whether or not there's an episode of DW from The Christmas Invasion to The End of Time Part II where the Doctor doesn't get attacked or injured. We've put our heads together managed to find something for every one of the 45 episodes in question, but below the cut is our list copied and pasted directly to see if you guys might be able to come up with something....
RTD's Dramatic Devices: How To Write A SuperAwesome!RTD-JEENYUS script
1. Christmas Invasion - Knocked around, punched in the stomach... Hand Chopped Off.
2. New Earth - Knocked out by Cassandra/Rose and bangs head on containment thing.
3. Tooth and Claw - Didn't he get punched or something?
4. The Girl in the Fireplace - Has to suffer madam POMPUS in his head... Broken hearts :(
5. Rise of the Cybermen - Gets knocked around a bit.
6. The Age of Steel - Nearly killed by a cyberman etc.
7. The Idiots Lantern - Knocked out by guard person with a 'helluva right/left hook'.
8. The Impossible Planet - Loses his TARDIS - emotional pain.
9. Satan's Pit - Falls down a hole and faces falling into a black hole with the mindless demon thing.
10. Love and Monsters - Suffered the company of Elton.
11. Fear Her - Get's drawn by the girl with the pencils and disappears for a bit.
12. Army of Ghosts - Gets knocked about a bit.
13. Doomsday - Loses Rose.
14. The Runaway Bride - slapped by Donna
15. Smith and Jones - had all his blood sucked out of him by not-vampire + oxygen loss
16. The Shakespeare Code - Has one of his hearts stopped by the not-witch.
17. Gridlock - Loses the face of Boe - emotional pain.
18. Daleks in Manhattan - Gets knocked about.
19. Evolution of the Daleks - Tries to get killed by the Dalek. Electrocuted instead of Dalekanium
20. The Lazarus Experiment - Gets slapped by Martha's mum.
21. 42 - Get's possessed by a sun and then frozen below -200 by Martha.
22. Human Nature - Chameleon Arch agony and falls backwards down stairs
23. Family of Blood - broken heart, chameleon arch agony
24. Blink - sent back to 1969
25. Utopia - had his TARDIS nicked/tortured by the reappearance of the Master
26. The Sound of Drums - aged about 900 years and punched by the Master
27. The Last of the Time Lords - suffered the indignity of being forced to be Tinkerbell
xx- Time Crash - Younger generation doesn't recognise him... ?
28. Voyage of the Damned - lost Astrid, and has to save the crashing ship. And the crash of Titanic into the TARDIS
29. Partners in Crime - the whole window cleaner's car incident, plus Sarah Lancashire chasing him in killer heels 'cause she's a BAMF
30. The Fires of Pompeii - Gets knocked about a bit and has to cope with destroying Pompeii.
31. Planet of the Ood - Gets tied up, knocked about a bit and suffers hearing the Ood song of captivity.
32. The Sontaran Stratagem - gets knocked around a bit and almost poisoned by the sontaran smoke.
33. The Poison Sky - left thinking he's about to kill himself by blowing up the sontaran ship, but instead gets zapped back to earth and slapped hard by Donna.
34. The Doctor's Daughter - Has his hand ripped open, gets knocked about a bit, then loses his 'daughter'.
35. The Unicorn and the Wasp - cyanide poisoning and gets 'shocked' by Donna and slapped
36. Silence in the Library - loses Donna, and several of the team
37. The Forest of the Dead - loses River, and has to watch her suffer and die
38. Midnight - possessed by evil alien that nobody really understood the motivation of
39. Turn Left - got made dead :O
40. The Stolen Earth - wasted a regeneration after being shot by a Dalek.
41. Journey's End - Zapped by Davros a lot. The Doctor's clone is doomed to a life with Rose.
42. The Next Doctor - suffered the company of 'Rosita' ... Gets knocked about a bit by cybermen etc. Dragged by cybershade and burns arse on wooden floor.
43. Planet of the Dead - sucked through wormhole, kidnapped by giant flies, suffered moral deterioration when he allowed a leisure criminal walk free.
44.. Waters of Mars - had to make not-funny jokes about bicycles then got electrocuted by the control unit of the annoying robot - plus complete mental break down and suffers seeing that woman commit suicide, then the Ood reappear with riddles.
45. The End of Time Part 1 - Zapped by the Master a bit - emotional pain from seeing the Master again. Minnie pinches his arse. Has a break down in front of Wilf.
46. The End of Time Part 2 - suffers a multitude of things, incl. falling from a height, then gets extreme radiation poisoning (that in Smith and Jones didn't bother him as it was minor and not much worse than an x-ray, but still he can channel radiation out of his body either way- he's been killed before by radiation though Then RTD shouldn't have set that canon in S&J - he's a cunt... True. So pointing out his STUPID is good for us.) but this time it kills him. Spends half an hour wandering around doing fuck all interesting then goes all emo and karks it.