(no subject)
"Don't waste your lips on words I've heard before
Kiss my tired head.
And each letter written wastes your hand, young man
Come and lead me to your bed
You gave me hope that I'd not lost her
And then thought it rather strange to see me smile-
as I don't do too much smiling these days."
I hate being insecure..
I DO NOT want school to start....I'm tired of goin to the same old place...learning the same old stuff....failing the same old test...and having the same old people say THEY KNOW ME!
cuz they don't...they just think they do...
and because they think they know me...they don't try to know me more or think about it.
they don't know my favorite band, song....they don't know I'm in a band....and if they do they don't know the name of it...most of them don't know I play guitar, they don't know that I sing, they don't know what I wanna do with my life...they don't know anything about me except for my face and name...
they all think I'm a huge poser....not that I really care what they think....but
JUDGE ME WHEN YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ME!
I want to stay with my church friends....mike, josh, sam, brittni, amber, mel, marc....
I want to stay with my band friends....joe, corey, jared, max...
cuz they know me...the real me...and they like me....and I can be the real me around them
but at school
for some odd reason, I can't be me...I'm too quiet...and whenever I do talk...I say something really stupid...even when I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about...I sound like I have no clue...I don't want people to think I'm stupid....cuz I'm not.
I really hope that I can make some really good friends this year...I mean...I do have good friends there...don't get me wrong...holly, Carrie, and mel are awesome..and I love em all alot....but the only one who really knows me is mel.
I guess this all got started today at praise team practice...being back at school...all the feelings coming back again....and talking to Jay didn't help...cuz he thinks that I'm some sucky girl guitar player...when I'm not...(at least I don't think..lol) but he's just one of those people that I can't talk to kinda...like....I'll say stuff that makes me sound INCREDIBLY stupid...like I have no clue what I'm talkin about...when I really do know!
I guess I have the label as shy...which I am at school....anywhere else I'm not...but at school I am...I guess just because I was really shy in elementary and everyone just stuck that on me....so whenever I do talk or stand up for myself....everyone acts all surprised and then that just shoves me back in my shell.
sorry to be so emo...but this really, really bites.
and I'm scared
Kiss my tired head.
And each letter written wastes your hand, young man
Come and lead me to your bed
You gave me hope that I'd not lost her
And then thought it rather strange to see me smile-
as I don't do too much smiling these days."
I hate being insecure..
I DO NOT want school to start....I'm tired of goin to the same old place...learning the same old stuff....failing the same old test...and having the same old people say THEY KNOW ME!
cuz they don't...they just think they do...
and because they think they know me...they don't try to know me more or think about it.
they don't know my favorite band, song....they don't know I'm in a band....and if they do they don't know the name of it...most of them don't know I play guitar, they don't know that I sing, they don't know what I wanna do with my life...they don't know anything about me except for my face and name...
they all think I'm a huge poser....not that I really care what they think....but
JUDGE ME WHEN YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ME!
I want to stay with my church friends....mike, josh, sam, brittni, amber, mel, marc....
I want to stay with my band friends....joe, corey, jared, max...
cuz they know me...the real me...and they like me....and I can be the real me around them
but at school
for some odd reason, I can't be me...I'm too quiet...and whenever I do talk...I say something really stupid...even when I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about...I sound like I have no clue...I don't want people to think I'm stupid....cuz I'm not.
I really hope that I can make some really good friends this year...I mean...I do have good friends there...don't get me wrong...holly, Carrie, and mel are awesome..and I love em all alot....but the only one who really knows me is mel.
I guess this all got started today at praise team practice...being back at school...all the feelings coming back again....and talking to Jay didn't help...cuz he thinks that I'm some sucky girl guitar player...when I'm not...(at least I don't think..lol) but he's just one of those people that I can't talk to kinda...like....I'll say stuff that makes me sound INCREDIBLY stupid...like I have no clue what I'm talkin about...when I really do know!
I guess I have the label as shy...which I am at school....anywhere else I'm not...but at school I am...I guess just because I was really shy in elementary and everyone just stuck that on me....so whenever I do talk or stand up for myself....everyone acts all surprised and then that just shoves me back in my shell.
sorry to be so emo...but this really, really bites.
and I'm scared