Pinning People Down
"Behold, this dreamer cometh." Genesis 37:19
I dig the word Ignominy....Ignominious....Ignominable....
Today I had a sixty dollar discussion and I lost it. The last time I lost it Little Man was three or so months old. I sat in a small room under the stairs at Lucid crying and rocking myself while Little Man slept. The last time I lost it in front of someone, really lost it, I can't even remember.
My life is a fiasco.
Unless I begin to purposefully choose a direction it will continue to be. Holding patterns; butterflies on a bulletin board; being lost in the woods...When I was finishing high school I was on my own. As such, I learned to ground myself. There was no one to impose standards upon me so I was forced to do it myself. It is much easier to follow through when it is yourself whom you will be disappointing. Three years is far too long to dick around with your life... This summer, I am grounded.
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
~ Henry Adams
When I am silent, I secretly dream of smoking. My body comes back due to the amounts of exercise I channel myself into. I draw again. My smile is slightly pulled up in a smirk large amounts of the time. My eyes twinkly with my unspoken quippy comments and quirky observations. When I don't speak my thoughts out loud to a screen or a person my impish grin becomes a regular occurance while I scribble my thoughts into my various books. I read like crazy when I do not speak. More than anything, it seems, I become the curiousity of others and supposedly even more alluring. When I am silent, I can observe the more important depth the world's minutia really contains rather than being caught up in it.
"And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free." John 8:32
I dig the word Ignominy....Ignominious....Ignominable....
Today I had a sixty dollar discussion and I lost it. The last time I lost it Little Man was three or so months old. I sat in a small room under the stairs at Lucid crying and rocking myself while Little Man slept. The last time I lost it in front of someone, really lost it, I can't even remember.
My life is a fiasco.
Unless I begin to purposefully choose a direction it will continue to be. Holding patterns; butterflies on a bulletin board; being lost in the woods...When I was finishing high school I was on my own. As such, I learned to ground myself. There was no one to impose standards upon me so I was forced to do it myself. It is much easier to follow through when it is yourself whom you will be disappointing. Three years is far too long to dick around with your life... This summer, I am grounded.
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
~ Henry Adams
When I am silent, I secretly dream of smoking. My body comes back due to the amounts of exercise I channel myself into. I draw again. My smile is slightly pulled up in a smirk large amounts of the time. My eyes twinkly with my unspoken quippy comments and quirky observations. When I don't speak my thoughts out loud to a screen or a person my impish grin becomes a regular occurance while I scribble my thoughts into my various books. I read like crazy when I do not speak. More than anything, it seems, I become the curiousity of others and supposedly even more alluring. When I am silent, I can observe the more important depth the world's minutia really contains rather than being caught up in it.
"And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free." John 8:32