Dictionary for Decoding Personal Ads

[a_saint]

From Rebecca . . .

Body: 40-ish............49.

Adventurous..........Slept with everyone.

Athletic............No breasts.

Average looking.......Moooo.

Beautiful..........Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure........On medication.

Feminist...........Fat.

Free Spirit...........Junkie.

Friendship first.........Former Slut.

New-Age..........Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned........No B.J.'s

Open-minded.........Desperate.

Outgoing..........Loud and embarrassing.

Professional...........Bitch.

Voluptuous.........Very fat.

Large frame...........Hugely fat.

Wants soul mate.......Stalker