my inferno
so after reading the inferno and watching seven i realized that some of the 7 deadly sins are evident in my own household. this is my own version of the inferno.
edit: my inferno has less circles, but the beasts/punishers are way cooler.
before we even get to hell, we start in paradise a.k.a. my room. it is my sanctuary and i am happier there then anywhere else in my house.
UPPER HELL:
circle one: my parents room.
sin: pride
sinners: my parents
overview: they are extreme neat freaks, they always speak of how perfect their room is and how my paradise (my room) is a "pigstye" / "pigpen"
/ "vampire's cave"
punisher: Me!
punishment: to piss them off, my room is eternally messy and there is nothing they can do about it. their lack of control over it scares them eternally.
beast: my laundry basket, i shall call him chaz. he is a beast because he is always overflowing dirty clothes and spitting my shoes onto the floor because he takes up so much room in my closet. and my parents are deathly afraid to go near him because they don't know how long he has been there or what he will spit out next.
circle two: also my parents room
sin: lust
sinner: my mother/ me and dad
overview: once a week, we gather in my parents room to watch 24 and listen to my mom lust over Jack Bauer
and how studly and heroic he is because he saves the world
punishers: the fricken butt heads who decided Jack Bauer doesn't talk, he whispers everything he says / my mother herself.
punishment: we have to turn the TV volume up all the way in order to hear what Mr. Bauer has to say and every other line, my mom decides to start a conversation with macey (see SLOTH) so no one else can hear the TV
circle three: again, my parents room
sin: envy
sinner: my dad
overview: my dads envious of Jack Bauer cuz my mom likes him better then my dad / my dad evnies macey (again, see SLOTH) because of her sloth-iness
punisher: my mom
punishment: we have to hear my mom talk about Jack Bauer like 24/7
MIDDLE HELL:
circle four: the living room
sin: sloth
sinner: Macey, the black cocker spaniel. (kind of a beast, but a very cute one)
overview: she sits on the couch all day and sleeps. my dad is jealous
punisher: (none)
punishment: the silly dog sleeps all day then decides to wake up and walk around/ eat at 3am and wakes up the rest of the house. (sucks to be us)
circle five: the laundry room
sin: greed
sinner: shannon
overview: shannon takes my clothes and i sneak into the laundry room to steal them back.
punisher: chaz, my laundry basket, he is eternally pissed at shannon because she takes his 'food' aka my clothes.
punishment: shannon's laundry basket has no life because he/she/it is eternally stuffed with clothes therefore causing her to steal my clothes
LOWER HELL (this is the bottom of the bottom):
circle six: gram and pop's apartment
sin: gluttony
sinner: pop (my grandfather)
overview: he is a glutton because he forgets that he eats and he steals food from the fridge when my grandma (see: ANGER:BOLGIA ONE) isnt watching
punisher: the refrigerator
punishment: my grandfather is eternally cold from standing infront of the fridge in his guinea tees. the rest of lower hell is hot because SATAN's COUPLE (my grandparents) like to sit around in guinea tees and short sleeves because they think its florida and the keep their heat on about 200 degrees.
and finally,
circle seven; blogia one: SATAN's COUPLE 's apartment
sin: anger
sinner: my grandpa, 1/2 of SATAN's COUPLE .
overview: my grandma hates when her other half of SATAN's COUPLE stands infront of the fridge because his blood sugar level would skyrocket if he ate whatever he wanted and he doesnt know how to take care of himself so she has to do it and she gets angry when he doesnt listen to her. he makes her really pissed.
punisher: my grandma's lovely set of vocal cords.
punishment: she eternally screams profanities (in englsih and italian) at him because he likes to eat.
circle seven; blogia two: SATAN's COUPLE 's apartment
sin: anger
sinner: my dad
overview: its literally HOT AS HELL down there
punisher: SATAN's COUPLE because they keep the heat so damn high. if they learned to not wear shortsleeves and guinea tees 24/7 and PUT A FRICKEN SWEATSHIRT ON, my dad wouldnt be so pissed.
punishment: the gas bill is HIGH AS HEAVEN and my dad gets super angry.
and that's Hell.
edit: my inferno has less circles, but the beasts/punishers are way cooler.
before we even get to hell, we start in paradise a.k.a. my room. it is my sanctuary and i am happier there then anywhere else in my house.
UPPER HELL:
circle one: my parents room.
sin: pride
sinners: my parents
overview: they are extreme neat freaks, they always speak of how perfect their room is and how my paradise (my room) is a "pigstye" / "pigpen"
/ "vampire's cave"
punisher: Me!
punishment: to piss them off, my room is eternally messy and there is nothing they can do about it. their lack of control over it scares them eternally.
beast: my laundry basket, i shall call him chaz. he is a beast because he is always overflowing dirty clothes and spitting my shoes onto the floor because he takes up so much room in my closet. and my parents are deathly afraid to go near him because they don't know how long he has been there or what he will spit out next.
circle two: also my parents room
sin: lust
sinner: my mother/ me and dad
overview: once a week, we gather in my parents room to watch 24 and listen to my mom lust over Jack Bauer
and how studly and heroic he is because he saves the world
punishers: the fricken butt heads who decided Jack Bauer doesn't talk, he whispers everything he says / my mother herself.
punishment: we have to turn the TV volume up all the way in order to hear what Mr. Bauer has to say and every other line, my mom decides to start a conversation with macey (see SLOTH) so no one else can hear the TV
circle three: again, my parents room
sin: envy
sinner: my dad
overview: my dads envious of Jack Bauer cuz my mom likes him better then my dad / my dad evnies macey (again, see SLOTH) because of her sloth-iness
punisher: my mom
punishment: we have to hear my mom talk about Jack Bauer like 24/7
MIDDLE HELL:
circle four: the living room
sin: sloth
sinner: Macey, the black cocker spaniel. (kind of a beast, but a very cute one)
overview: she sits on the couch all day and sleeps. my dad is jealous
punisher: (none)
punishment: the silly dog sleeps all day then decides to wake up and walk around/ eat at 3am and wakes up the rest of the house. (sucks to be us)
circle five: the laundry room
sin: greed
sinner: shannon
overview: shannon takes my clothes and i sneak into the laundry room to steal them back.
punisher: chaz, my laundry basket, he is eternally pissed at shannon because she takes his 'food' aka my clothes.
punishment: shannon's laundry basket has no life because he/she/it is eternally stuffed with clothes therefore causing her to steal my clothes
LOWER HELL (this is the bottom of the bottom):
circle six: gram and pop's apartment
sin: gluttony
sinner: pop (my grandfather)
overview: he is a glutton because he forgets that he eats and he steals food from the fridge when my grandma (see: ANGER:BOLGIA ONE) isnt watching
punisher: the refrigerator
punishment: my grandfather is eternally cold from standing infront of the fridge in his guinea tees. the rest of lower hell is hot because SATAN's COUPLE (my grandparents) like to sit around in guinea tees and short sleeves because they think its florida and the keep their heat on about 200 degrees.
and finally,
circle seven; blogia one: SATAN's COUPLE 's apartment
sin: anger
sinner: my grandpa, 1/2 of SATAN's COUPLE .
overview: my grandma hates when her other half of SATAN's COUPLE stands infront of the fridge because his blood sugar level would skyrocket if he ate whatever he wanted and he doesnt know how to take care of himself so she has to do it and she gets angry when he doesnt listen to her. he makes her really pissed.
punisher: my grandma's lovely set of vocal cords.
punishment: she eternally screams profanities (in englsih and italian) at him because he likes to eat.
circle seven; blogia two: SATAN's COUPLE 's apartment
sin: anger
sinner: my dad
overview: its literally HOT AS HELL down there
punisher: SATAN's COUPLE because they keep the heat so damn high. if they learned to not wear shortsleeves and guinea tees 24/7 and PUT A FRICKEN SWEATSHIRT ON, my dad wouldnt be so pissed.
punishment: the gas bill is HIGH AS HEAVEN and my dad gets super angry.
and that's Hell.