exhausted mind
These are all thoughts I had last night as I attempted to sleep, and was very depressed with all the shit Im workin through. Feel free to respond, or nost likely ignore, the following:
I'm gonna swear off aim. I'v realized that as I work and whatnot and leave away messages, no one ever sends me little 'hey how ya doin' type messages. granted some would think she's away. but still, I send out little hey hows it goin stuff to people. then theres the whole I send people messages and stuff when theyre away and when they come back they dont IM me until I IM them. the only person to send me messages or any of the above is my brother, but most of the time he's not even on due to the workload. No one ever does the hey let's talk just to talk convos online with me either, iv been known to start a few but they always dwindle out from lack of response and continuation from the people I talk to. so you know what, why even get online? Im only gonna be disappointed. When I am on, I will stop attempting to create convos, let's see how many come to me, lemme guess, slim to none.
I also think my parents have no realistic idea of what I do for school and whatnot because they call me upset cuz im not home when they get there, and they never looked for / saw the note that I left saying I was working at the library. I also did work for about 4 straight hours, took a break and the folks were like 'shouldn't you be workin on pre-cal' fuck no, I just did three assignments. they have no clue and get pissed off at me cuz I dont work in their presence, right, cuz Im in my room workin my ass off instead. Oh and then they ask me to run errands for them cuz they're too lazy to get off their ass which they're on all day long to do it themselves.....
the lack of genuine human interaction is also depressing. it seems you can rarely get a genuine convo if you're not havin it in person, cuz apparently if you're not there you dont have priority. and then theres the tryin to cut through the fake interest crap.
all I want is genuine regard and interest in return for the genuine regard and interest I give out. oh well.
you can now forget all you read, if you even got this far.
I'm gonna swear off aim. I'v realized that as I work and whatnot and leave away messages, no one ever sends me little 'hey how ya doin' type messages. granted some would think she's away. but still, I send out little hey hows it goin stuff to people. then theres the whole I send people messages and stuff when theyre away and when they come back they dont IM me until I IM them. the only person to send me messages or any of the above is my brother, but most of the time he's not even on due to the workload. No one ever does the hey let's talk just to talk convos online with me either, iv been known to start a few but they always dwindle out from lack of response and continuation from the people I talk to. so you know what, why even get online? Im only gonna be disappointed. When I am on, I will stop attempting to create convos, let's see how many come to me, lemme guess, slim to none.
I also think my parents have no realistic idea of what I do for school and whatnot because they call me upset cuz im not home when they get there, and they never looked for / saw the note that I left saying I was working at the library. I also did work for about 4 straight hours, took a break and the folks were like 'shouldn't you be workin on pre-cal' fuck no, I just did three assignments. they have no clue and get pissed off at me cuz I dont work in their presence, right, cuz Im in my room workin my ass off instead. Oh and then they ask me to run errands for them cuz they're too lazy to get off their ass which they're on all day long to do it themselves.....
the lack of genuine human interaction is also depressing. it seems you can rarely get a genuine convo if you're not havin it in person, cuz apparently if you're not there you dont have priority. and then theres the tryin to cut through the fake interest crap.
all I want is genuine regard and interest in return for the genuine regard and interest I give out. oh well.
you can now forget all you read, if you even got this far.