Why call me?
Because I am a rug.
I have stated that before.
And people love me.
And need me.
And, though I hate to admit it, my cousin Ashlie is right.
I put myself out there for people to come crawling to when their life
starts to go to shit.
Explanation:
About a month ago, I started hanging out with a new group of friends.
All stoner's, but generally really good people.
And one of them and I had a really deep drunken conversation on the night of his 18th birthday.
And ever since then, he has felt that we are 'kindred spirits'.
That I 'just get him'.
I don't just get him.
I just get everybody.
Some people are harder to understand than others, but I honestly read people pretty well.
And by doing so, this kid has attached himself to me in a strange way.
He jokingly (or not so jokingly) refers to me as 'mom'.
WTF?
Yes, I take care of you when you get drunk and your eyes start to roll into the back of your head, and you are going to choke on your own vomit.
Because I am just that kind of person.
But I don't know how to respond when, on a Monday afternoon while watching t.v., I get a call from you and you saying that you have been contemplating suicide all day long.
WHAT THE HELL?
I have only known this kid for a month. And already, he feels like he can trust me more than people he has known for years. I should be complimented by that.
I should feel like I am more of a better person for having talked him out of buying a shotgun and blowing his fucking brains out because he freaked over having to pay his taxes.
We are all crazy. We are all teenagers.
'No one has ever felt the way I do RIGHT NOW. No one has ever been this sad/depressed/hopeless.'
We all feel that way. I told him so.
And now, I am sitting on my couch, trying to over come the feeling of anxiety (frustration, confusion, anger, whatever) that has taken over me.
Why do I always attract the crazy ones? And not the ones that want to just chill and have mind-blowing conversations while sitting on the backs of cars on empty streets till 2-3 in the morning?
Because, I am a door mat with the words
'Here, come, let me comfort you and make the world seem less fucked up' written on my chest. While, the whole time, I have my own problems breathing down my neck.
I have stated that before.
And people love me.
And need me.
And, though I hate to admit it, my cousin Ashlie is right.
I put myself out there for people to come crawling to when their life
starts to go to shit.
Explanation:
About a month ago, I started hanging out with a new group of friends.
All stoner's, but generally really good people.
And one of them and I had a really deep drunken conversation on the night of his 18th birthday.
And ever since then, he has felt that we are 'kindred spirits'.
That I 'just get him'.
I don't just get him.
I just get everybody.
Some people are harder to understand than others, but I honestly read people pretty well.
And by doing so, this kid has attached himself to me in a strange way.
He jokingly (or not so jokingly) refers to me as 'mom'.
WTF?
Yes, I take care of you when you get drunk and your eyes start to roll into the back of your head, and you are going to choke on your own vomit.
Because I am just that kind of person.
But I don't know how to respond when, on a Monday afternoon while watching t.v., I get a call from you and you saying that you have been contemplating suicide all day long.
WHAT THE HELL?
I have only known this kid for a month. And already, he feels like he can trust me more than people he has known for years. I should be complimented by that.
I should feel like I am more of a better person for having talked him out of buying a shotgun and blowing his fucking brains out because he freaked over having to pay his taxes.
We are all crazy. We are all teenagers.
'No one has ever felt the way I do RIGHT NOW. No one has ever been this sad/depressed/hopeless.'
We all feel that way. I told him so.
And now, I am sitting on my couch, trying to over come the feeling of anxiety (frustration, confusion, anger, whatever) that has taken over me.
Why do I always attract the crazy ones? And not the ones that want to just chill and have mind-blowing conversations while sitting on the backs of cars on empty streets till 2-3 in the morning?
Because, I am a door mat with the words
'Here, come, let me comfort you and make the world seem less fucked up' written on my chest. While, the whole time, I have my own problems breathing down my neck.