drunk enough to raise us all
note to self: last night was closest to worst feeling of empty, alone, and deprived.
no call no show. it makes me want to not work today. my head is playing tag with my heart. the words are scrambling inside and i wouldnt know opposites. this will be a sick sad 9 hours of digesting my craves and disclosure. im close to calling it a day, maybe even a week. if i could sleep, it would be no contest about not showing up for work. i cant sleep. ive gone from up all night, up all night being held, to up all night just, and maybe less. i am hoping for a distraction, maybe a thought manuver. but at 6am at work, there really is no such thing. if i do make it to 3 today i know as soon as im home ill be more teased with hopes. maybe i just need a voice, or a hug. im probally over exagerating. either way im fucking just waiting for time t pass until this hits that this is too good to be true part. that prt was the best part yet. i could so use a fucking dose of that part right now.
[what gets me this down]
no call no show. it makes me want to not work today. my head is playing tag with my heart. the words are scrambling inside and i wouldnt know opposites. this will be a sick sad 9 hours of digesting my craves and disclosure. im close to calling it a day, maybe even a week. if i could sleep, it would be no contest about not showing up for work. i cant sleep. ive gone from up all night, up all night being held, to up all night just, and maybe less. i am hoping for a distraction, maybe a thought manuver. but at 6am at work, there really is no such thing. if i do make it to 3 today i know as soon as im home ill be more teased with hopes. maybe i just need a voice, or a hug. im probally over exagerating. either way im fucking just waiting for time t pass until this hits that this is too good to be true part. that prt was the best part yet. i could so use a fucking dose of that part right now.
[what gets me this down]