50-A Minotaur Lane, Downstairs in the Study, Late Friday Night (NFB)

[a_phale]

Aziraphale was dithering. To the average observer, it might have appeared the he was simply doing a bit of straightening of the bookshelves in the study. But anyone who knew him well would know that the stacks of books on every available flat surface were the result of a full-on angelic dither

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[dr_jwilsonmd]

Wilson was giving the angel space to dither.

He was fairly certain he knew what had brought on the dithering and he also figured that Phale needed a bit of time alone with his own thoughts. Even if it just ended up knotting the angel up further into a dithering ball, his lover needed to pull the thoughts from his mind without outside influences.

So, he was staying thehelloutoftheway upstairs for the time being.

After checking on Lana to make sure she had everything she needed up on the guest floor, Wilson headed back downstairs and figured that 6 hours was plenty of time for dithering. Also, it was late and he wanted to go to bed, an activity that went a long smoother when he had his angelic pillow and feather blanket.

Thus, Wilson armed himself with two mugs of hot, fresh tea liberally laced with brandy and he headed down the stairs into the middle of ground zero dithering.

[a_phale]

Really, it shouldn't have surprised him when Wilson showed up bearing tea -- and an unspoken admonishment to get over the dithering and either do something constructive or come to bed. But an angel in full dither wasn't the most observant person. So he was actually a bit startled by the young doctor's appearance, and jumped a little when the man walked through the door.

"Goodness, James, you shouldn't sneak up like that," he said, although his tone was amused rather than scolding. "Lana's gone off to bed then, I imagine?"

Gratefully taking one of the mugs, Aziraphale sipped at it, smiling at the flavor of brandy. "You're here to chase me off to bed, aren't you, love?"

[dr_jwilsonmd]

Wilson's expression spoke clearly enough when he gave the angel a look of sneak? but he handed over the tea and took his own mug off in search of somewhere to sit down.

"It's a little after midnight, love. Lana has gone off to her rooms at least, the house is closed up nice and tight and I'm tired and would like to go to bed. Actually what I'd like is somewhere to sit down."

Wilson sighed and leaned against the desk, looking over at the angel and taking his own sip of tea.

[a_phale]

Aziraphale was just about to ask why he didn't sit down then, when he realized the point his lover was trying to make.

"Er...quite." With a flick of his hand, the big couch was cleared of books, and the angel gave Wilson an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, James love. I just...can't help thinking about how wrong I've been. And how I should have known."

[dr_jwilsonmd]

Giving Phale a grateful grin, Wilson transfered to the couch and sat back with a low groan. Stretching one arm out across the back, he looked at his handsome lover and quirked a slight smile.

"There you go, trying to be HIM again." He said softly, then before Phale could even give the ready response, Wilson pointed a finger at him.

"There was no reason for you not to assume that Bel was gone. Phoebe and her sisters are powerful, their magic is powerful and they all believed Bel dead by their spell. Even if you had 'followed-up'? Bel comes from a different world than yours and who is to say that his soul would have been in your Heaven?"

[a_phale]

The angel opened his mouth, and then closed it again as Wilson laid out a very convincing case. He had to admit, it as much irked him that he'd been unable to do anything to help, as it did that he'd told his friends something that turned out to be utterly untrue.

Aziraphale felt foolish. And he hated that feeling.

Shoulders sagging a little, he nodded, and went to sit down on the edge of the couch, holding his cup in both hands. "You're right, of course. I suppose I just...feel as though I gave up too easily. There wasn't any reason not to, as you say. But...well, I feel stupid, James."

[dr_jwilsonmd]

"And I know how you hate that." Wilson said, not unsympathetically.

Shifting over to sit close, Wilson reached out and took the angel's hand.

"Aziraphale. All we can do is do the best we can with what experience teaches us and when experiences teaches us something different, we incorporate it into our next challenge. Grief does strange things to people. Maybe...maybe in our grief, the comfort was to believe Bel was in a place you know to be happy and safe and so to think otherwise just wasn't where your mind could go. Phoebe's mind, is a little more open because of her bond with Bel and because for her...grief refused to let her entertain the possibility of her life without him."

[a_phale]

Nodding, Aziraphale held tightly to his lover's hand. "I would have done the same, if it had been me in Phoebe's place. I would have refused to believe it...when I thought you were gone, I was ready to do anything to prove to myself that you were all right."

He took a deep breath, an unnecessary action for an angel, but a habit he'd picked up nonetheless. A strangely comforting one.

"I'll do whatever I can, James, to bring him home. Anything at all, whatever Phoebe needs. I owe them that."

[dr_jwilsonmd]

Returning the pressure to his lover's hand, Wilson nodded.

"We both will, Raphale." He promised softly. "Now, come on. It's late and despite the fact that we've spent the week lounging about on our arses, I find myself tired and desiring my feather quilt."

Leaning over, Wilson kissed Phale softly on the corner of the mouth and then moved to stand.

[a_phale]

Allowing himself to be pulled up off the couch as Wilson stood, Aziraphale smiled, a little ruefully but with affection.

"I think that's a very good idea, love. It's late, and who knows what the weekend is going to bring. I find I'm rather looking forward to classes starting up again. These week-long breaks are surprising tiring."

With a soft chuckle, the angel waved his hand at the room a second time, putting the books all back into their places on the shelves, and then followed the young doctor up the stairs to their bedroom suite.