PICK!!!! WHICH ONE!!!
Anonymous
I am too tired. Tired of trying, tired of caring, tired of the deafening silence that fills this my empty apartment, empty life. I need something, anything - an explosion, a crash, a blast to drown out the quiet, the loneliness that rings in my ears and in my soul. Every day. Every day you pass me. You pass me, your eyes pass over me, your train of thought flies by me. Worse than ignoring me - you don't even see me. You don't look at me with contempt, you don't look at me with pity - you don't look at me at all. Mock me, insult me, laugh in my face - anything to remind me that I'm alive, still a part of the world, still important enough to be seen, heard, noticed, acknowledged by someone, anyone, you. With one smile, one glance, you could change it all. With one word you could pull be back from this ledge, from this fate. I'm drowning, I'm falling - you could save me, catch me, rescue me from my insecurities. It's so easy to disappear when you're already invisible, so easy to leave when you won't be missed. If only I had one fleeting moment to grab onto, to give me back my balance. You could give me that moment. You could, but you don't. Someday, as you walk by this place where I've sat, alone, day after day and year after year, you'll pause, notice something different - you'll give me that one thought, the thought that could've changed everything. If only the glimmer of hope that that day will come were still enough. It's not. Not anymore. The silence is too loud. I am too tired. Free at last, at peace at last...Nothing.
Undeclared love of a Father
You think you can just barge in here after seven years and act like your a part of this family. Your father is dying (motion to bed) and you're pretending to care? You haven't been here Mike...you don't understand. This man who's lying before you...what does he mean to you?
I lived with this man all my life and never once, never once could he give me a hug, could he look me in the eyes...never once, Mike....could he tell me he loved me. You don't know what it feels like to come home from school waiting for a "how was your day, kid?" and find him passed out on the floor. You never had to lie to your classmates when they asked what your father does for a living. What was I supposed to say huh Mike? (screaming)"HE'S A DRUNK? MY FATHER IS A GOD DAMN DRUNK?"(pause) I am the one who comes home everyday just to clean up his puke and broken beer bottles...and I get the satisfaction of knowing he could care less. You've never had to take a beating from this man Mike. For seven years of my life I had to make up exscuses to tell my counselors...7 years Mike....7 years you will never understand! And now you think you can come in and call this man your father?
Despite all this man has put me through...I know some where in his heart he loves me...he loves me Mike...(fake tone from the hospital gadgets ring...your fateher has just passed away) DAD!!! No dad!!! I NEED A NURSE....I NEED A DOCTOR...HELLO??? ANYBODY???? I love you dad...I love you...
EMMA
They laughed. They all laughed at me! All of my supposed friends laughed at me! I can't believe that I really thought that they were my friends!
Jack, they laughed at me when I cried because the cafeteria reminded me of you. That was where we first kissed. Do you remember? Of course you don't remember. You can't remember! You're dead! Why did you have to leave me? I need you.
Nobody understands, Jack. They all think that I'm just being melodramatic. They all say that just because we're 15 that it couldn't have been love. But it was love! I loved you then, and I love you now!
Why'd you do it? Whatever it was, you could've talked to me about it. We would have worked something out. That note that you left didn't do much to console me.
Dear Emma,
I love you, but there are some things that even love can't conquer. I have problems that you couldn't even imagine, and I don't want to get you involved. This has nothing to do with you. Please don't blame yourself. Even if you were here, there's nothing that you could do to stop me. My mind's made up. I know what I have to do. I'll always love you.
Love,
Jack
Even if you were here there's nothing that you could do to stop me? What do you mean there's nothing that I could've done? I know that if I had been there things would have turned out differently. Jack, my heart is breaking. You made me realize that I was special. You showed me that I do matter, and when you needed me to be there for you, I wasn't there.
Everything that happened in my life before I met you is meaningless, as is everything that has happened since your suicide.
It makes me so angry that no one thinks that it's possible to be in love just because of our age. Is age really what matters? Are they saying that if soulmates meet before they are 21, then it won't be love? How old do you have to be for love to be real?
I am too tired. Tired of trying, tired of caring, tired of the deafening silence that fills this my empty apartment, empty life. I need something, anything - an explosion, a crash, a blast to drown out the quiet, the loneliness that rings in my ears and in my soul. Every day. Every day you pass me. You pass me, your eyes pass over me, your train of thought flies by me. Worse than ignoring me - you don't even see me. You don't look at me with contempt, you don't look at me with pity - you don't look at me at all. Mock me, insult me, laugh in my face - anything to remind me that I'm alive, still a part of the world, still important enough to be seen, heard, noticed, acknowledged by someone, anyone, you. With one smile, one glance, you could change it all. With one word you could pull be back from this ledge, from this fate. I'm drowning, I'm falling - you could save me, catch me, rescue me from my insecurities. It's so easy to disappear when you're already invisible, so easy to leave when you won't be missed. If only I had one fleeting moment to grab onto, to give me back my balance. You could give me that moment. You could, but you don't. Someday, as you walk by this place where I've sat, alone, day after day and year after year, you'll pause, notice something different - you'll give me that one thought, the thought that could've changed everything. If only the glimmer of hope that that day will come were still enough. It's not. Not anymore. The silence is too loud. I am too tired. Free at last, at peace at last...Nothing.
Undeclared love of a Father
You think you can just barge in here after seven years and act like your a part of this family. Your father is dying (motion to bed) and you're pretending to care? You haven't been here Mike...you don't understand. This man who's lying before you...what does he mean to you?
I lived with this man all my life and never once, never once could he give me a hug, could he look me in the eyes...never once, Mike....could he tell me he loved me. You don't know what it feels like to come home from school waiting for a "how was your day, kid?" and find him passed out on the floor. You never had to lie to your classmates when they asked what your father does for a living. What was I supposed to say huh Mike? (screaming)"HE'S A DRUNK? MY FATHER IS A GOD DAMN DRUNK?"(pause) I am the one who comes home everyday just to clean up his puke and broken beer bottles...and I get the satisfaction of knowing he could care less. You've never had to take a beating from this man Mike. For seven years of my life I had to make up exscuses to tell my counselors...7 years Mike....7 years you will never understand! And now you think you can come in and call this man your father?
Despite all this man has put me through...I know some where in his heart he loves me...he loves me Mike...(fake tone from the hospital gadgets ring...your fateher has just passed away) DAD!!! No dad!!! I NEED A NURSE....I NEED A DOCTOR...HELLO??? ANYBODY???? I love you dad...I love you...
EMMA
They laughed. They all laughed at me! All of my supposed friends laughed at me! I can't believe that I really thought that they were my friends!
Jack, they laughed at me when I cried because the cafeteria reminded me of you. That was where we first kissed. Do you remember? Of course you don't remember. You can't remember! You're dead! Why did you have to leave me? I need you.
Nobody understands, Jack. They all think that I'm just being melodramatic. They all say that just because we're 15 that it couldn't have been love. But it was love! I loved you then, and I love you now!
Why'd you do it? Whatever it was, you could've talked to me about it. We would have worked something out. That note that you left didn't do much to console me.
Dear Emma,
I love you, but there are some things that even love can't conquer. I have problems that you couldn't even imagine, and I don't want to get you involved. This has nothing to do with you. Please don't blame yourself. Even if you were here, there's nothing that you could do to stop me. My mind's made up. I know what I have to do. I'll always love you.
Love,
Jack
Even if you were here there's nothing that you could do to stop me? What do you mean there's nothing that I could've done? I know that if I had been there things would have turned out differently. Jack, my heart is breaking. You made me realize that I was special. You showed me that I do matter, and when you needed me to be there for you, I wasn't there.
Everything that happened in my life before I met you is meaningless, as is everything that has happened since your suicide.
It makes me so angry that no one thinks that it's possible to be in love just because of our age. Is age really what matters? Are they saying that if soulmates meet before they are 21, then it won't be love? How old do you have to be for love to be real?