Rant

Jun 08, 2009 23:04

Dear Noisy Neighbors,

I'm know you're both having a great time and enjoying each other's company, but honestly I don't care to hear every single moan and pant. I know, I know, I could just close my windows, but it's nice to have them open to air out my stuffy apartment when it's been closed up all day (it's nice to have the option, at least). And anyway, I'm pretty sure no one in the other 13 buildings wants to hear a play by play of your charades, either.

You guys have to be at least three buildings away because the sound is coming in through my windows, not through my walls. That means that a lot of other people can potentially hear you too. There are several families in this complex, all with very small children. I can guarantee the parents in those families would object to their children being subjected to the sounds I'm hearing right now. Over the tv. Which I had to turn up to drown you out.

Honestly, it's gotten the point of being overly theatrical and just plain irritating. Guy: SHE'S FAKING IT. Girl: IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE FAKING IT. If you guys want to make a home video, that's fine, but that doesn't mean that everyone else within ear shot should have to listen to the production of your seedy little side project. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH OR SHUT YOUR FUCKING WINDOWS. You live in a complex with a lot of other people, not on your own little plot of land in the middle of nowhere. You have to give up a few things when you live amongst many, many other people. Incidentally, exposing a couple hundred people to your marathon and clichéd sex sessions is one of those things.

The most frustrating thing about this is that I don't know what apartment or even what building you're in. If I did, I'd be reporting your skanky asses to our main office for what could almost be considered public indecency. I know you're in your own home, but you're exposing a bunch of unwilling people to your x-rated activities. To me, that's awfully close to sex in public.

Knock it the fuck off. The next time I hear your bullshit I'm going to go outside and walk around until I figure out what apartment you're in. It won't be hard, you guys are close and these buildings are all laid out the same way. I don't care if that sounds creepy, I won't hesitate to call the office and complain, I'm not going to listen to this shit all summer.

-Your Not-So-Friendly Neighbor

shut your whore mouth, noisy neighbors, shut your fucking window, omg shut up, rant, scaring little kids

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