Hospital visit!
So, after this...
The ambulance is probably better equipped than Arkham's infirmary, and House is quick to badger the medics into letting him into their tackle, flipping through the sterile paper packets looking for this syringe and that vial. While at the same time, medics fit Eddie with a blood pressure cuff, clip an oxygen meter on his finger.
edsidlemirth It still hasn't been long enough for the pill to kick in. Or it's not doing much. It should do something, yeah? The cuff squeezing his arm makes him yell, but despite his well-documented issues with needles and medication, he is being very cooperative. He sees the needle, there, and appears to have decided it's, by far, the lesser evil.
housepital House gives him a sharp look at the yell. "Did /that/ hurt?"
edsidlemirth That arm has apparently decided it wants in on the party. Unfortunately for him, the good telltale sign of what's causing all this -isn't- there. He can still speak, or, well, yell. "Yeah!"
housepital He feels along the long muscles of the arm. More spasm?
edsidlemirth More spasm. It's the charley horse from hell.
housepital Congratulations, Eddie, your charley horse gets you a shot. Intramuscular magnesium is much faster than whatever Warden gave you.
edsidlemirth It probably puts this in perspective that he -doesn't- cry out at the injection. How much faster?
housepital Immediate faster, though it's only the arm for now.
edsidlemirth At least his good arm is... good again. He puts it around his other arm, and hopes, maybe, that his back will go back to normal soon. "... what causes this?"
housepital The drugs shouldn't take too much longer to reach it. "Any number of things. Congratulations, Mister Minotaur, you're a puzzle."
edsidlemirth He collapses back down onto the gurney, and shuts his eyes. "Oh, man, it's stopping. Practically an act of God... Okay. I can work with that. How do we narrow it down?
"Or did you want to solve it?"
housepital "That happens to be my job." He hasn't sat down yet, stooped in the short space, though the medics are giving him filthy looks as he messes up their carefully ordered supplies.
edsidlemirth "At least you do yours. However, I have a bit of personal interest in knowing what's going on, and this is the only interesting that's happened for -days-, besides."
housepital "Pretty dull in your fishtank? No internet?"
edsidlemirth "Hah, like they'd let me anywhere near a computer. I'd be out in about a day."
housepital "This isn't an escape attempt, is it? Going to shank me?" This is making the medics nervous.
edsidlemirth "Pfft, gawd, that would be so lame." Okay, now? Now he is starting to feel a little of why Geoffrey likes those pills.
housepital "Very lame. But so is getting bit."
edsidlemirth He opens his eyes, so that he can roll them. "So's letting Simon the Cannibal go to group therapy without his Silence of the Lambs mask, because he's bein' ~good~."
housepital Oh hey, you made Dr. House laugh! "Really? They're that gullible?"
edsidlemirth "They thought it would be a good idea to work at Arkham. Figure that one out."
housepital "Well, I know where /I/ want committed."
edsidlemirth "Hee, yeeeah. Then they can give you pills for your ~god complex~."
housepital "Pretty sure they don't make medication that strong."
edsidlemirth "I don't know if what Mr. Warden gave me is or isn't, but either that's kicking in, or whatever you gave me is making me wacky..."
housepital "Probably his. He could lose his job for that." House doesn't sound too concerned.
edsidlemirth "Nah, he won't. I've felt like crap for days. This is awesome."
housepital "You should try vicodin."
edsidlemirth "Will it make me stupid?"
housepital "Now that's just rude."
edsidlemirth Eddie smirks.
housepital House thumbs open his own pill bottle, and takes two. And smirks.
edsidlemirth "Aw, man, I can talk again. Woo."
housepital House pokes him firmly, just at the joint of the jaw.
edsidlemirth "Hmwhat? Ow?"
housepital "How ow?" Poke.
edsidlemirth He shuts one eye, like he can't be bothered to shut both. "Right now I feel like I -should- feel pretty damn sore, buuuut... not... really."
housepital Finally, House takes a seat, having done all he really can here in the ambulance. (This is why he doesn't work ER.) "You like tests, right? We're going to run a million."
edsidlemirth "Awesome. Like what?" Now that pain isn't an issue and he's high as a kite, this has become a source of attention and amusement. It won't last, but hey!
housepital House rattles of a list of tests. Medicalese! Most of them sound like they involve blood.
edsidlemirth Eddie listens. It's a new thing, and that makes it interesting. He doesn't know much, if anything, about medicine. Besides a serious case of crazygonuts, he hasn't had a serious medical problem in his life. That means now he gets to learn more! And, of course, he ~knows~ he'll be fine.
housepital "And we'll make sure not to room you with any cannibals."
edsidlemirth He giggles. "That's always good news."
housepital When they reach the hospital, House disappears for a bit. The medics move Eddie, (Not talking to him because he's CRAZY) through an unnaturally quiet ER ward and into halls with the occasional policeman stationed at an intersection. It's a big deal that he's here, you know.
edsidlemirth Eddie is so thrilled to be a big deal he doesn't even care if the stupid medics won't talk to him. Depending on how long all this takes, the toxin building up in his system telling his muscles to lock up will win out over the happy drugs telling him All is Well in the World.
housepital It's right about then that House will reappear (What, the happy drug times are boring), and yell at the nurse for having not set up a magnesium drip yet.
edsidlemirth The happy drug times are fuzzy and nice but, yes, -boring-. He doesn't like drugs, but is happy to deal with them when it's either that or horrible agony. So, yay, a magnesium drip. He is also being, all these people with their heightened security should note, a -complete gentleman-. No escape attempts, no riddles. He doesn't even call anyone stupid. This is entirely for reasons of self-preservation. It would be beyond stupid to piss off the people who are trying to cure him.
housepital And here they thought it was the drugs. House is not, of course, going to do all these tests himself, but he's practically hovering as the nice people in the scrubs and lab coats draw off quite a bit of Eddie's blood.
edsidlemirth He has... a bit more trouble being well-behaved when they draw the blood. That scares him, and upsets him, and he -is- crazy. He catches himself from trying to weasel his way out of it, and bites his lip, trying very, very hard to avoid looking at what they're doing, oh god oh god.
housepital "Got to feed those vampires in the basement." House, you're probably not helping.
edsidlemirth "Oh god, seriously, this kid -ate- what he bit off my arm, don't even -joke-, do you have any idea how gross this is? Of course you don't, you ~do~ this. OW."
housepital "Well, sounds like he was hungry." And CRAZY. "Has /he/ shown any symptoms?"
edsidlemirth "He doesn't eat. If he were dealing with anything weird, it would be difficult to spot with him ~starving~ all over the place. Gawddamnit, what did he -give- me?"
housepital "He's the kid who was eating hobos, right? Could be anything." He sounds like that's a /good/ thing, god.
edsidlemirth "Like something interesting-fixable anything, or something deadly anything?"
housepital "Anything anything. Kuru, maybe." Oh, that would be so cool.
edsidlemirth He laughs. Oh man, that would be -bad-.
housepital "Or typhoid."
edsidlemirth "Gross, no."
housepital "You don't just get to tell typhoid 'no,' you know."
edsidlemirth "I'm just narcissistic. I don't think I ~command diseases~, doc."
housepital "Sure you don't."
edsidlemirth "I'm not delusional."
housepital "I'm not here to diagnose anything inside your brain."
edsidlemirth He rolls his eyes. "I ~know~ I don't get to decide what's wrong with me, or avoid it. I'm simply rooting for something that doesn't involve death or... leaking..."
housepital "We'll get you some cheerleaders. Extra 'rooting' points." House has his file in hand, and is giving it more scrutiny than he did before. Hmm.
edsidlemirth "Like that counts, yeah. If you want to watch cheerleaders jump around, though, feel free."
housepital "What, you don't? You are crazy."
edsidlemirth He gives him a -look-. Oh, please.
housepital "But you do get cable, so life's looking up. See you when the results are in." House turns to leave, tucking Eddie's file under one arm.
edsidlemirth Oh boy. -Cable-. He flops down into the bed, to wait. Ow.
housepital And wait and wait. Isn't this exciting, Eddie?
edsidlemirth Eddie is -so bored-, oh god. This is just as bad as the pain. Are nurses talkative? Don't they want to talk to a friendly asylum patient?
housepital Nooo, no they don't. Don't you know Arkhamites are scary?
edsidlemirth He's soooo not scary, look. He's not even violent. He is trying to explain this, here.
housepital At least one of these nurses was caught in the Narrows Gassing a year or so ago. And then their hospital got blown up. They know better than to trust any of you whackjobs, donchaknow? But fiiinally, House comes back to brighten the day. "Good news! It's not typhoid."
edsidlemirth Eddie is saddened and annoyed by the stupidity of these nurses who think he's like the Scarecrow or, heaven forbid, the -Joker-. He is pretty much ranting about them for not understanding his ~game~, which is so much more awesome than randomly poisoning people or -killing- them, gawd. Then House comes back! Not typhoid! He raises his arms in victory. OW!
housepital "That was bright. Open up." House has a -stick-. Okay, it's a plastic tongue depressor. They taste better than the wood ones.
edsidlemirth It was pretty silly. He, um, meant to do that. But, hey, now he -has- to stick his tongue out at the doctor. Doctor said so.
housepital He didn't have to -stick his tongue out-, just open his mouth. Sorry, Eddie, you get a poke right in the back of the throat.
edsidlemirth He does not, in fact, gag, or crack up, or any such thing but rather, bites down on the stick. Which tastes bad.
housepital "Bingo." Aw, look, you made House happy.
edsidlemirth Yay! "Hmph?" Can he not have a stick in his mouth, now?
housepital But it's funny. Fine. There he goes. "Right. Put him on TIG and metronidazole, and add diazepam as soon as he's come the rest of the way off the soma."
edsidlemirth "Right, yeah? What ~is it~?" He must know, sir.
housepital God grins at him. "And give him a tetanus vaccination too. After all, they might let the kid out of his mask again."
edsidlemirth "Oh, ew! You got it, though, that's fantastic! How long will it take to go away?"
housepital "Ten days with a needle in your arm. You're going to have fun."
edsidlemirth "That sucks... but I'm not going to seize up, if we stick with that?"
housepital "Exactly. Valium's good like that."
edsidlemirth He pouts. Needles and boredom.
housepital He pats Eddie's shoulder. "You stay overnight, for observation, then it's time to go home."
edsidlemirth "Greeeat. Well, thank you, that was pretty cool. I'll, uh... wait for them to make me a drug zombie and watch daytime TV now?" :(
housepital "Exactly. I'd join you, but I don't want lockjaw either."
edsidlemirth "I don't bite." :(, seriously, people. This is some major discrimination against the mentally ill, here. Maybe one of them will bring him a book OR ORANGE JUICE.
The ambulance is probably better equipped than Arkham's infirmary, and House is quick to badger the medics into letting him into their tackle, flipping through the sterile paper packets looking for this syringe and that vial. While at the same time, medics fit Eddie with a blood pressure cuff, clip an oxygen meter on his finger.
edsidlemirth It still hasn't been long enough for the pill to kick in. Or it's not doing much. It should do something, yeah? The cuff squeezing his arm makes him yell, but despite his well-documented issues with needles and medication, he is being very cooperative. He sees the needle, there, and appears to have decided it's, by far, the lesser evil.
housepital House gives him a sharp look at the yell. "Did /that/ hurt?"
edsidlemirth That arm has apparently decided it wants in on the party. Unfortunately for him, the good telltale sign of what's causing all this -isn't- there. He can still speak, or, well, yell. "Yeah!"
housepital He feels along the long muscles of the arm. More spasm?
edsidlemirth More spasm. It's the charley horse from hell.
housepital Congratulations, Eddie, your charley horse gets you a shot. Intramuscular magnesium is much faster than whatever Warden gave you.
edsidlemirth It probably puts this in perspective that he -doesn't- cry out at the injection. How much faster?
housepital Immediate faster, though it's only the arm for now.
edsidlemirth At least his good arm is... good again. He puts it around his other arm, and hopes, maybe, that his back will go back to normal soon. "... what causes this?"
housepital The drugs shouldn't take too much longer to reach it. "Any number of things. Congratulations, Mister Minotaur, you're a puzzle."
edsidlemirth He collapses back down onto the gurney, and shuts his eyes. "Oh, man, it's stopping. Practically an act of God... Okay. I can work with that. How do we narrow it down?
"Or did you want to solve it?"
housepital "That happens to be my job." He hasn't sat down yet, stooped in the short space, though the medics are giving him filthy looks as he messes up their carefully ordered supplies.
edsidlemirth "At least you do yours. However, I have a bit of personal interest in knowing what's going on, and this is the only interesting that's happened for -days-, besides."
housepital "Pretty dull in your fishtank? No internet?"
edsidlemirth "Hah, like they'd let me anywhere near a computer. I'd be out in about a day."
housepital "This isn't an escape attempt, is it? Going to shank me?" This is making the medics nervous.
edsidlemirth "Pfft, gawd, that would be so lame." Okay, now? Now he is starting to feel a little of why Geoffrey likes those pills.
housepital "Very lame. But so is getting bit."
edsidlemirth He opens his eyes, so that he can roll them. "So's letting Simon the Cannibal go to group therapy without his Silence of the Lambs mask, because he's bein' ~good~."
housepital Oh hey, you made Dr. House laugh! "Really? They're that gullible?"
edsidlemirth "They thought it would be a good idea to work at Arkham. Figure that one out."
housepital "Well, I know where /I/ want committed."
edsidlemirth "Hee, yeeeah. Then they can give you pills for your ~god complex~."
housepital "Pretty sure they don't make medication that strong."
edsidlemirth "I don't know if what Mr. Warden gave me is or isn't, but either that's kicking in, or whatever you gave me is making me wacky..."
housepital "Probably his. He could lose his job for that." House doesn't sound too concerned.
edsidlemirth "Nah, he won't. I've felt like crap for days. This is awesome."
housepital "You should try vicodin."
edsidlemirth "Will it make me stupid?"
housepital "Now that's just rude."
edsidlemirth Eddie smirks.
housepital House thumbs open his own pill bottle, and takes two. And smirks.
edsidlemirth "Aw, man, I can talk again. Woo."
housepital House pokes him firmly, just at the joint of the jaw.
edsidlemirth "Hmwhat? Ow?"
housepital "How ow?" Poke.
edsidlemirth He shuts one eye, like he can't be bothered to shut both. "Right now I feel like I -should- feel pretty damn sore, buuuut... not... really."
housepital Finally, House takes a seat, having done all he really can here in the ambulance. (This is why he doesn't work ER.) "You like tests, right? We're going to run a million."
edsidlemirth "Awesome. Like what?" Now that pain isn't an issue and he's high as a kite, this has become a source of attention and amusement. It won't last, but hey!
housepital House rattles of a list of tests. Medicalese! Most of them sound like they involve blood.
edsidlemirth Eddie listens. It's a new thing, and that makes it interesting. He doesn't know much, if anything, about medicine. Besides a serious case of crazygonuts, he hasn't had a serious medical problem in his life. That means now he gets to learn more! And, of course, he ~knows~ he'll be fine.
housepital "And we'll make sure not to room you with any cannibals."
edsidlemirth He giggles. "That's always good news."
housepital When they reach the hospital, House disappears for a bit. The medics move Eddie, (Not talking to him because he's CRAZY) through an unnaturally quiet ER ward and into halls with the occasional policeman stationed at an intersection. It's a big deal that he's here, you know.
edsidlemirth Eddie is so thrilled to be a big deal he doesn't even care if the stupid medics won't talk to him. Depending on how long all this takes, the toxin building up in his system telling his muscles to lock up will win out over the happy drugs telling him All is Well in the World.
housepital It's right about then that House will reappear (What, the happy drug times are boring), and yell at the nurse for having not set up a magnesium drip yet.
edsidlemirth The happy drug times are fuzzy and nice but, yes, -boring-. He doesn't like drugs, but is happy to deal with them when it's either that or horrible agony. So, yay, a magnesium drip. He is also being, all these people with their heightened security should note, a -complete gentleman-. No escape attempts, no riddles. He doesn't even call anyone stupid. This is entirely for reasons of self-preservation. It would be beyond stupid to piss off the people who are trying to cure him.
housepital And here they thought it was the drugs. House is not, of course, going to do all these tests himself, but he's practically hovering as the nice people in the scrubs and lab coats draw off quite a bit of Eddie's blood.
edsidlemirth He has... a bit more trouble being well-behaved when they draw the blood. That scares him, and upsets him, and he -is- crazy. He catches himself from trying to weasel his way out of it, and bites his lip, trying very, very hard to avoid looking at what they're doing, oh god oh god.
housepital "Got to feed those vampires in the basement." House, you're probably not helping.
edsidlemirth "Oh god, seriously, this kid -ate- what he bit off my arm, don't even -joke-, do you have any idea how gross this is? Of course you don't, you ~do~ this. OW."
housepital "Well, sounds like he was hungry." And CRAZY. "Has /he/ shown any symptoms?"
edsidlemirth "He doesn't eat. If he were dealing with anything weird, it would be difficult to spot with him ~starving~ all over the place. Gawddamnit, what did he -give- me?"
housepital "He's the kid who was eating hobos, right? Could be anything." He sounds like that's a /good/ thing, god.
edsidlemirth "Like something interesting-fixable anything, or something deadly anything?"
housepital "Anything anything. Kuru, maybe." Oh, that would be so cool.
edsidlemirth He laughs. Oh man, that would be -bad-.
housepital "Or typhoid."
edsidlemirth "Gross, no."
housepital "You don't just get to tell typhoid 'no,' you know."
edsidlemirth "I'm just narcissistic. I don't think I ~command diseases~, doc."
housepital "Sure you don't."
edsidlemirth "I'm not delusional."
housepital "I'm not here to diagnose anything inside your brain."
edsidlemirth He rolls his eyes. "I ~know~ I don't get to decide what's wrong with me, or avoid it. I'm simply rooting for something that doesn't involve death or... leaking..."
housepital "We'll get you some cheerleaders. Extra 'rooting' points." House has his file in hand, and is giving it more scrutiny than he did before. Hmm.
edsidlemirth "Like that counts, yeah. If you want to watch cheerleaders jump around, though, feel free."
housepital "What, you don't? You are crazy."
edsidlemirth He gives him a -look-. Oh, please.
housepital "But you do get cable, so life's looking up. See you when the results are in." House turns to leave, tucking Eddie's file under one arm.
edsidlemirth Oh boy. -Cable-. He flops down into the bed, to wait. Ow.
housepital And wait and wait. Isn't this exciting, Eddie?
edsidlemirth Eddie is -so bored-, oh god. This is just as bad as the pain. Are nurses talkative? Don't they want to talk to a friendly asylum patient?
housepital Nooo, no they don't. Don't you know Arkhamites are scary?
edsidlemirth He's soooo not scary, look. He's not even violent. He is trying to explain this, here.
housepital At least one of these nurses was caught in the Narrows Gassing a year or so ago. And then their hospital got blown up. They know better than to trust any of you whackjobs, donchaknow? But fiiinally, House comes back to brighten the day. "Good news! It's not typhoid."
edsidlemirth Eddie is saddened and annoyed by the stupidity of these nurses who think he's like the Scarecrow or, heaven forbid, the -Joker-. He is pretty much ranting about them for not understanding his ~game~, which is so much more awesome than randomly poisoning people or -killing- them, gawd. Then House comes back! Not typhoid! He raises his arms in victory. OW!
housepital "That was bright. Open up." House has a -stick-. Okay, it's a plastic tongue depressor. They taste better than the wood ones.
edsidlemirth It was pretty silly. He, um, meant to do that. But, hey, now he -has- to stick his tongue out at the doctor. Doctor said so.
housepital He didn't have to -stick his tongue out-, just open his mouth. Sorry, Eddie, you get a poke right in the back of the throat.
edsidlemirth He does not, in fact, gag, or crack up, or any such thing but rather, bites down on the stick. Which tastes bad.
housepital "Bingo." Aw, look, you made House happy.
edsidlemirth Yay! "Hmph?" Can he not have a stick in his mouth, now?
housepital But it's funny. Fine. There he goes. "Right. Put him on TIG and metronidazole, and add diazepam as soon as he's come the rest of the way off the soma."
edsidlemirth "Right, yeah? What ~is it~?" He must know, sir.
housepital God grins at him. "And give him a tetanus vaccination too. After all, they might let the kid out of his mask again."
edsidlemirth "Oh, ew! You got it, though, that's fantastic! How long will it take to go away?"
housepital "Ten days with a needle in your arm. You're going to have fun."
edsidlemirth "That sucks... but I'm not going to seize up, if we stick with that?"
housepital "Exactly. Valium's good like that."
edsidlemirth He pouts. Needles and boredom.
housepital He pats Eddie's shoulder. "You stay overnight, for observation, then it's time to go home."
edsidlemirth "Greeeat. Well, thank you, that was pretty cool. I'll, uh... wait for them to make me a drug zombie and watch daytime TV now?" :(
housepital "Exactly. I'd join you, but I don't want lockjaw either."
edsidlemirth "I don't bite." :(, seriously, people. This is some major discrimination against the mentally ill, here. Maybe one of them will bring him a book OR ORANGE JUICE.