Giles goes back to his own patients...

[bovril_and_book]

Simon has been behaving so long, and he still doesn't get a break. Policy is that he comes to therapy in restraints and his bite mask. He's used to it, very much so, but that doesn't mean he likes it.

The general feeling of the staff is that the moment they give Simon an inch, he'll take someone's hand off. Once he's in the room, Giles removes his mask and most of his restraints before sitting across from him, as per usual. "How have you been Simon?"

Simon shrugs, reticent today. "Kinda run down. Winter blues." Which is kind of a joke, as he hasn't seen the seasons in a while.

Still, the holidays just passed, right? The paper chains came down, so Simon knows Christmas has passed.... "Being in your cell so much isn't helping, I can bet. I can look into getting you more time in the rec room or the library, if you'd like. I'm still waiting on an answer about a tv."

"I don't really want a tv. They kind of hurt my head."

"Alright, but what about getting out of your cell more?"

"That'd be good. Somewhere besides the infirmary."

Giles nods. "I can try to work something out. Possibly even ask to hold a 'session' in the rec room."

"Think it's likely?"

"It depends on the day I ask House....." Thinking, thinking.

Simon shrugs. "I'm getting enough to read, either way."

"Reading is good, but you deserve time out of your cell. You deserve it."

"I'd rather be in my cell, and not restrained, than out of it and have to wear the mask."

Giles nods, still making a thinking face. "Maybe I can work that out as well."

Simon snorts, not really optimistic about that. "Did you have a good Christmas?"

"It was alright, I suppose."

"Dib brought us cookies."

"He did, did he?" Giles knows he did. Because a note was on his desk about an orderly talking to Simon on Christmas and the two getting into an argument.

The boy nods, head sinking a bit. Mmf.

"Did you try one of the cookies?"

He shakes his head. "You know I can't."

"Not eat it, maybe, but taste it and spit it out...." Giles had meant to save his cookies for Simon. Meant.....

Simon shakes his head. "I haven't felt good lately. Don't want to risk it."

"Possibly a good idea."

"The thought was good, though... he's quitting."

"Oh, is he? It's nice he came by then."

Simon shrugs, looking down.

Giles sees that, Simon. "Was it nice he came by?"

"It would have been nice to have him back."

"Ah."

"Kinda sucks to have him just back for... cookies."

Giles shrugs. "He probably felt he needed to give something as penance for leaving."

Simon shrugs, looking down again. Cookies, seriously. He can't eat cookies.

No, he can't. "Would you preferred it if he did nothing at all?"

"I don't want him to go. There's just you and him."

"Just him and I? What do you mean by that Simon?" Giles has heard some of this from Dib, but Simon's comments to the boy hadn't made a lot of sense.

"On my side," he says, so very quietly.

"Oh." Giles thinks a moment. "Are you worried that only having one person on your side won't be enough?"

He glances up at Giles, morose. "I don't know. Is it?"

"I don't think it is, no. And I don't think you've lost Dib on your side. He just doesn't happen to be an employee now."

"He won't be here, he won't be any good."

"I see. What did you hope he could help with?"

"I just wanted him here. In case."

"In case I left? Or in case of something else?"

"Yeah. Either." Simon rubs his hands up and down his arms, looking around as though the room has grown smaller.

Giles sighs, thinking. "What are you afraid might happen, if people who are on your side aren't here?"

"Whatever Doctor House wants to have happen." There's honest fear in his shadowed eyes when he looks up again. "And then I'll just disappear."

"Dr House is currently distracted by Patient I-44 and Nigma. And because your body isn't refusing the tube feeding, he's being to think your human." It's meant to hopefully ease Simon's stress level. Giles hates having to keep the boy in fear....

Simon's expression falls further. "Doctor... What are you feeding me? Please?" He needs to know the truth.

Giles has the list of ingredients memorized, and lists them off in a monotone voice. The list of preservatives alone has made him start looking at his own food labels more carefully.

Simon pales at the list of chemicals, but they don't disturb him as much as the chicken. And for once, he doesn't accuse him of lying.

Chicken and /vegetables/ Simon. "That sounds long, partially because the formula is designed for starvation patients. Extra vitamins and protein to help rebuild muscles and improve the immune system."

"I shouldn't... I don't want it anymore."

"You didn't want it to begin with, Simon. And unless you start eating out your own, your still going to have to have it."

"That's why I'm sick! Every time I wake up..." He puts his hand to his chest, pressing just above the sternum.

"You've been having chest pains? What kind?" Giles has reviewed the lists of possible side effects of tube feeding, but Simon's never mentioned anything before....

He rubs the spot, the path from heart to throat. "Like a burn, right here. I always wake up with it after the tube, and it lasts overnight."

Giles hrms, mind going though the list..... "I think I know what that might be. Possibly. If I give you something for it, will you be honest with me if it helps?"

"Is it going to turn me more into a human?"

"No, it should just help with the pain. I can get you the box if you like."

He keeps his hand there, as though he can feel the pain now. "I can't eat that stuff, it's -chicken- and corn and I- I can't."

"Your body is simply working with what it has. It needs something."

"No, it's making me sick."

"Not as sick as not eating anything would make you, Simon. It's not abnormal for animals to eat foods they normally wouldn't to avoid starvation."

Now that... that is something to seize on. "Really?"

"Of course. Strict 'vegetarian' animals eat meat when there's no vegetation to be found and vice versa. Hell, cats eat beef, Could a house cat ever catch and eat a cow in the wild?"

"Cats can't digest plant materials..."

"Yes they can. And they do. They eat grass to aid digestion."

"They eat it to throw up."

"No, that's dogs. Cat's need greens."

"You have it backwards..."

"Hmm... I can remember our dog eating grass and then vomiting on the rug.... And they sell that 'cat grass' stuff in stores...." Thinking face.

"I'm not a dog, or a cat anyway." Scowly. "-I- can't eat grass."

"True. But human's shouldn't eat other humans. It makes us sick. Yet sometimes we've resorted to cannibalism. Those rugby players..."

"It's never made -me- sick."

"That's not what I'm saying, I'm using it as an example of something eating something is shouldn't to survive." Unless Simon thinks he's human now....

"A starving person already is sick... so their body reacts differently?"

"A body wants to survive. If it's choice is slow starvation, or digesting something it's not meant to, a body will do amazing things."

"What if the stuff it's not meant to digest does damage?"

"If it's acts like a poison, you mean? I'm trying to keep an eye on that. Several things can poison a body slowly. Luckily, you seem to be doing alright."

"I don't feel alright," he mutters. "I feel... Can we stop everything, the meds and the tubes and all of it, just long enough for me to figure out how I'm supposed to be feeling again?"

Giles seems to consider, for a moment. "How do you feel about Dr McCoy? I ask, because I'm worried about how your body will react to that type of trauma. I'd like a medical doctors opinion."

"He's Eddie's doctor, right?"

"He is. He's also the Joker's doctor."

He nods, picking at his cuffs. "Okay."

"At the least, we can start stepping down your medication, gradually, so that you can have a bit of time with nothing. I'm more concerned about taking you off the feedings, because I'm worried about your health."

"I've been being fed for -months- now. I can go a few weeks without."

"But doing both at once is a bad idea. Well, all at once. Let me talk to Dr McCoy, please. He may want to explain the possible effects to you, as well. Going off all at once, it may take more then a few weeks for your body to regulate. You'll possibly feel very sick."

"I already do. That's the whole point."

"You could feel /worse/. But, if your willing to try the pills I can bring to try to help the chest pain, I'll start weaning you off your other pills, and get Luke's opinion on taking you off everything for a few weeks. You will get time to be on nothing at all, I just want to do it the way that will be the most healthy for you. Please?"

Reluctantly, Simon nods, rubbing his face. "Okay. Okay? I just want to be me again."

"That's fine Simon. That's an understandable wish." Which 'me' Simon wants to be is worrying, but.... Well. Giles just wants to help Simon.

Well, he doesn't want to be the weepy, near-suicidal him that surfaced in the hospital after his coma. Would anyone?

Probably not, no. But the him that was before the fire, maybe?

That would require a good deal of amnesia. "Will it be soon?"

"It will be soon, yes. I can start stepping you down now, and talk to McCoy about taking you off everything when he gets back. I'll have the other pills tomorrow, which are simple over the counter things. I think you might have heart burn, which can happen because the tube is pulling stomach acid up your throat as it comes out."

Simon sighs, and nods. "Okay, I'll try them."

"Thank you. Your dose will start getting smaller tomorrow, so be prepared to feel a bit different this week. I'll also arrange to have the orderlies to bring you more water, as being hydrated will help. If you could, can you start listing how you feel, physically, in your journal?"

He nods. "Yeah, of course. Sorry it's been kind of dull, it's hard to write with a crayon." >,>

"I understand that. I'm looking into something easier and clearer." But also not easy to be made into a weapon.