Technically, it's a promotion.

[housepital]

His office in Gotham General is empty. The bouncy ball and his Alienware laptop are both in backpack, along with a few dozen discs. Things he knows not to leave on his computer there.

He's already making mental notes as he walks through the front doors of Arkham. That camera should be pointed that way. The elevator needs cleaned in the worst way.

Comments

[notatvcharacter]

It's a reasonable assumption, really. Since if you're here, you're either locked up, visiting someone, or working here.

Or actively seeking employment.

Dr. House's promotion left his former position, medical liason, open. Lucas McCoy would be a liar (and Momma didn't raise no liars) to say that when he heard the news, his first thought wasn't what are the chances of me getting that job?

Pretty good, he figures. He submits his name to all the proper channels. And then he goes to pay the new Superintendent a visit.

[housepital]

The new Superintendent has made severe noises about who is and isn't allowed past the lobby, so that's where he meets Luke.

"McCoy! Planning to join us here in Wackyland, the Happiest Place on Earth?"

[notatvcharacter]

He's fine with that, and fine with waiting, killing time by taking in the sights until House comes out to see him. When he does, Luke greets him with a smile. God help us all.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I'm led to understand there's an opening for medical liason."

[housepital]

"Oh, that job. No, you don't want that job, that job's for idiots. You want to work on premise, in our psychotherapy department."

... Yes, that's going to work.

[notatvcharacter]

Luke does not laugh in House's face. But he disguises his incredulous amusement little more than that. You've got some balls on you. And not just the one you were bouncing on my door.

"Well, I don't know. What's that pay?"

As much as a neurologist at a major hospital gets?

[housepital]

"Really, what's money worth?"

Ahahaha, no.

[notatvcharacter]

Dammit, he can't keep it up. He has to laugh at that.

"Made yourself at home already, I see."

[housepital]

"This place gets under your skin that way." By blunt force.

[notatvcharacter]

"Then it makes itself a pretty dress out of it."

He leans against the reception desk, giving House an assessing look.

"Are you really that hard up for therapists, that you'll propisition any damn person that comes in the door? Believe me, there's a reason neurology's my primary specialty."

[housepital]

"Being an administrator's a lot like being a pimp." House shrugs, smile disingenuous. "And metaphorically speaking, you've got quite the neuropsychological rack."

[notatvcharacter]

"What, 'cause I can talk to a cancer patient and read your John Doe's brain scans?"

Usual negotiation script calls for him to stop here, let House stroke his ego a little more. But House isn't the sort to stroke egoes, and while Luke doesn't care the demotion that a full-time therapist's job would be, he does want to continue working with at least a few of the Arkham patients.

"Listen, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't interested in working here. But a change like that is a bit much to ask without buying me dinner first. It's only the second oldest profession, you know."

[housepital]

"Dinner's on Fridays, in O'Cool's at nine. Have you ever met my predecessor, Warden Warden?

"And no, it's because anyone who can do both is in short supply in this urine-sample of a city." Why, yes, House is frustrated with staffing issues already.

[notatvcharacter]

"Never had the pleasure personally, but I've heard stories. And Nigma's mentioned him a time or two."

So he's obviously gotten a full, unbiased account of the man.

"And no matter what half my psych classmates wanted to believe, you can't do a damn thing with the mind, unless you have half an idea how the brain works."

Something occurs to him. A middle ground that might get them both what they want. It's worth trying. "I'm still not fond of the idea of leaving my position at Gotham General. But, mm. I might be convinced to take on a small amount of extra work in addition to my liason duties, for a raise in compensation."

[housepital]

Ah hah. Exactly where House wants him! Mwahahah.

"Two days a week here, and I'll see what the board says about that raise." Like they know the meaning of the word. "And you'll get your own orderly." Because they're like pets or something.

[notatvcharacter]

Negotiation time. Fun for everyone. Especially the receptionist watching the whole show, head bent to try to look like she isn't paying attention.

"One. And my choice of orderly and patients."

[housepital]

"I can't justify an orderly for a drop-in who's only going to be here four times a month to see his favorites."

The skeptical look he gives Luke might be a suggestion that right now is a very, very bad time to appear to have favorites here.