(no subject)
I have not written in some time...it seems that life here at the mansion has diminished somewhat and I can only assume that there must be some illness spreading about that has caused the guests to stay abed rather than come down. As of late, the only faces that I have seen have been that of the Count, Miss Murray, and Mr. Heathcliff. I have heard that Catherine has been abed as well...and there is that masked man, the one called Erik. But I shall write of him in a bit.
I enjoyed a lovely moonlit walk in the gardens with Miss Murray the other night. I have to admit that I have needed to see another face besides my own in the mirror and it was so very good to see her. But our discussion was weighted with the grief that...her fiancee has passed. To find out that such a young man has been taken, far too early in his life, is dreadful to hear. Dear Mina...she tried so very hard not to let her pain show, but I know she is grieved. She spoke with animation and we had a bit of fun over the night-blooming flowers that grow here, but she has changed. I can see it in her eyes.
The Count came upon us and joined us for a bit. He is the kindest of gentlemen! When Mina decided to travel to the stables, presumably to check upon a horse, he was so very considerate of her safety and hurried back to her side--after escorting me to the parlor doors, of course. It is so very good to see a gentleman so concerned over a lady such as her. She needs, right now, the attentions that he can give her.
I miss Mr. Hyde. I am so very lonely right now...I have become used to the attentions of a gentleman myself, and even if he is not perfect and not the most well-liked of men...he makes me happy. Is that so very foolish? I just must keep my mouth shut on certain topics.
Perhaps my loneliness was reason for how very hurt I was later in the evening. Erik was at the piano, playing, and I came to the fire to warm myself. He promptly shut the screen, cutting off light and warmth. I shouldn't of questioned him...I would have been far better off if I hadn't. But I cannot understand why the man hates me so! He has been cold to me since the night he helped me after...sustaining my injuries. He has told me never to talk to Christine again and I cannot understand why! He wouldn't answer, only told me that he did as he did to get me to leave.
So, I did. Later in the evening, when he was with the Count--and glaring horribly at one another, and surely my eyes deceived me on the light in their eyes!--and I attempted to be polite and serve him tea, he wouldn't let me do so, but took my wrist in hand and pushed me aside, upon the other side of the piano. Then he said, to the Count, that none had been within the room. I felt so very small then. So very small and insignificant. Perhaps he did so to "get me to leave" or perhaps to simply put me in my place. Either way, it has done the trick. I went to the kitchen and cried like a simpleton.
Very well. I simply won't serve him tea any longer. If my presence so disgusts him, then I will keep my distance.
I miss him terribly.
I enjoyed a lovely moonlit walk in the gardens with Miss Murray the other night. I have to admit that I have needed to see another face besides my own in the mirror and it was so very good to see her. But our discussion was weighted with the grief that...her fiancee has passed. To find out that such a young man has been taken, far too early in his life, is dreadful to hear. Dear Mina...she tried so very hard not to let her pain show, but I know she is grieved. She spoke with animation and we had a bit of fun over the night-blooming flowers that grow here, but she has changed. I can see it in her eyes.
The Count came upon us and joined us for a bit. He is the kindest of gentlemen! When Mina decided to travel to the stables, presumably to check upon a horse, he was so very considerate of her safety and hurried back to her side--after escorting me to the parlor doors, of course. It is so very good to see a gentleman so concerned over a lady such as her. She needs, right now, the attentions that he can give her.
I miss Mr. Hyde. I am so very lonely right now...I have become used to the attentions of a gentleman myself, and even if he is not perfect and not the most well-liked of men...he makes me happy. Is that so very foolish? I just must keep my mouth shut on certain topics.
Perhaps my loneliness was reason for how very hurt I was later in the evening. Erik was at the piano, playing, and I came to the fire to warm myself. He promptly shut the screen, cutting off light and warmth. I shouldn't of questioned him...I would have been far better off if I hadn't. But I cannot understand why the man hates me so! He has been cold to me since the night he helped me after...sustaining my injuries. He has told me never to talk to Christine again and I cannot understand why! He wouldn't answer, only told me that he did as he did to get me to leave.
So, I did. Later in the evening, when he was with the Count--and glaring horribly at one another, and surely my eyes deceived me on the light in their eyes!--and I attempted to be polite and serve him tea, he wouldn't let me do so, but took my wrist in hand and pushed me aside, upon the other side of the piano. Then he said, to the Count, that none had been within the room. I felt so very small then. So very small and insignificant. Perhaps he did so to "get me to leave" or perhaps to simply put me in my place. Either way, it has done the trick. I went to the kitchen and cried like a simpleton.
Very well. I simply won't serve him tea any longer. If my presence so disgusts him, then I will keep my distance.
I miss him terribly.