(no subject)
just a phone call away...
i'll keep that in mind.
for arguments sake against my own reclusive accusations, last night i went out to Lauren's and hung with Matt, Brit, Lauren and Jane. That was pretty cool i suppose. I got pretty ripped up.
And tonight i went to work and then met my father at his house. eh - i'll talk about that shit later.
i talked to Brittan on the work phone jsut before i left the mall. He said they were at Lauren's place partying but Mandy and Matt were at Ashy B's place at another party getting ready to go to Lauren's. Cool.
So after I left my dad's and rolled into Eureka, it was about 11:30. I was really eager to get to Lauren's again and meet up with everyone. but once i get to Lauren's she steps out the front door suprised to see me and let me know that the M's never showed and Brit took off. Shit. So i tried calling everyone with a phone and got nothing. So i bid farewell to Lauren turning down her invite to chill with her other crowd.
I took the familiar quickest route across Eureka and parked down the street from Ashy B's house. I grabbed the bag from my car that held 'South 94 and 70' (one of our bongs, for reader's sake) and headed down the way. The usual concerns entered my head of who will be there and where i should join in. I walked onto the driveway finding a circle of guys there - i was warmly welcomed by Justin, Tommy, Jeff and a few others that were nameless at the time. I asked if my sister was there, "Yeah, she's inside" says Justin. i was psyched and told him that i was going to find her and Matt and sparking a bong with the quickness. He was excited to follow.
I walked in the front door and heard what seemed to be an only mildly toned gathering. I caught Matt as he was leaving the leaving room furniture and heading toward the kitchen. We had our excited exchange and spoke of my inconvenient tracking. Then it was party time. I made my precence known to Mandy right after i ran into Ashy - she told me about how she's getting her third degree soon, she was ecxited. I was pumped. It took a lot, but i made my shift at work amazing and my mood changed. the downer at my dad's was nothing really. So then the task at hand was to find someone to match Matt for a bowl. I thought it'd be much easier than it was. I spoke with Benji and his crew who were looking for the same thing - but they decided against us because their shit was superior. So whatever, i understood that. The only other in the place was this kid whos name i forget of course and who had just smoked. So he didn't want to move his punkass to work with us. It was whatever though. We were asked to smoke outside but i didn't think it was a big deal to smoke in the basement with Matt. Following us in an extremely eager fashion was Justin, who's damn cool. Then this dude named John who felt young but held his own after drooling all over himself - i hooked him up with pot and later warned him about Tommy wanting to punch him in the face for no apparent reason. Then there was Jeff who i almost fought in my down times almost a year ago. But we're on cool grounds now. He smoked up and later told me he'd remember the fact that i bummed him a square on the deck but no one else around asking. And then there was this dude that i can't remember his name and it pisses me off. In school at one point he was a new kid. Kind of a pretty boy type with single pierced ears and a catchy smile - he always seemed to be along with the fathead preps. But he turned out to be damn cool to me and was real chill just having a good time through the night.
So many names exchanged. I met a couple Freshmen girls named Lindsey and Jessica who're from Alabama. Of course we spoke immediately about Autumn and out ties to her. Most extensively, we talked about their small town home and my sister being damn cool. I like raising my sister when i have the opportunity. They were pretty cool, chillin in blue flannel pajama pants wearing too much make up. I thought about telling them that i think they'd look better with less. I was informed i missed most of the ridiculous drama and shit - the younglings were scared off by a farce police threat.
But what really blew me away about the night was the uncanny mix of people. Among the drunkards and tokers were edgers man. Joey, David, and Kevin. They just hung around doin their thing mixing with people. David is damn cool - he's hung with my crew in my room while we smoked and so candidly held my fan in front of himself. So we talked about whatever along the way. I talked to Joey about his position change at Dierbergs and his newest music project. Maybe sounds cool. I've never really talked to Kevin. I'm told he's a cool dude, but to me he seems like he always does his own thing and it's never my thing. At shows he dances only sporadically and usually when not many others are. And tonight i don't think he looked at me. He was seemingly after something with Lindsey Judge. She is damn cool with me. We used to eat lunch together and have hung out before. She was excited to see me and asked what i was up to. Later on i was sad to hear that she blatantly asked Kevin if he wanted to fuck. At first they were separate and i took it as a joke. But then they disappeared and resurfaced together as i was leaving.
Matt had a bit of a down point around the middle of our stay. Mandy was off down the hallway doing whatever it is she does and some guy in an absurdly green shirt stick his hands down the back of her pants. I don't know he was. He was in Benji's crew. Mandy told Matt without my overhearing. He told me moments later. I sat thinking for a bit then turned to him with my thoughts about how drunken idiots will be drunken idiots. It happened to my mom with someone in her gang once awhile ago and it will continue to happen to Mandy. Unfortunately, it's a part of the scene and she's an attractive young woman. Whatever.
Saying goodbyes was pretty fucking cool. I got sincere biddings from everyone there and it was amazing to feel such a measure of myself coming out truly. And then knowing that i was accepted and thought fondly of. I drank a liter of refrigerated water in a bottle. I had a damn good time. I love that the asses are growing and the cool are getting cooler. I would definitely not mind doing that again.
A time came when i decided Matt had a good idea in leaving when i felt it getting later and considering the fact that i have to be at my dad's at 11 in the AM.
I'm not looking forward to getting up unnaturally and knowing that i will stay up because i have to work at 5:30 and close again. But it's a necessary sacrifice. My dad and Lisa are going to try to help me out and things will be cool.
Time to get some Ramen and watch the Secret Garden with Matt.
I love us.
"Everything's gonna be alright..."
~B.M.
i'll keep that in mind.
for arguments sake against my own reclusive accusations, last night i went out to Lauren's and hung with Matt, Brit, Lauren and Jane. That was pretty cool i suppose. I got pretty ripped up.
And tonight i went to work and then met my father at his house. eh - i'll talk about that shit later.
i talked to Brittan on the work phone jsut before i left the mall. He said they were at Lauren's place partying but Mandy and Matt were at Ashy B's place at another party getting ready to go to Lauren's. Cool.
So after I left my dad's and rolled into Eureka, it was about 11:30. I was really eager to get to Lauren's again and meet up with everyone. but once i get to Lauren's she steps out the front door suprised to see me and let me know that the M's never showed and Brit took off. Shit. So i tried calling everyone with a phone and got nothing. So i bid farewell to Lauren turning down her invite to chill with her other crowd.
I took the familiar quickest route across Eureka and parked down the street from Ashy B's house. I grabbed the bag from my car that held 'South 94 and 70' (one of our bongs, for reader's sake) and headed down the way. The usual concerns entered my head of who will be there and where i should join in. I walked onto the driveway finding a circle of guys there - i was warmly welcomed by Justin, Tommy, Jeff and a few others that were nameless at the time. I asked if my sister was there, "Yeah, she's inside" says Justin. i was psyched and told him that i was going to find her and Matt and sparking a bong with the quickness. He was excited to follow.
I walked in the front door and heard what seemed to be an only mildly toned gathering. I caught Matt as he was leaving the leaving room furniture and heading toward the kitchen. We had our excited exchange and spoke of my inconvenient tracking. Then it was party time. I made my precence known to Mandy right after i ran into Ashy - she told me about how she's getting her third degree soon, she was ecxited. I was pumped. It took a lot, but i made my shift at work amazing and my mood changed. the downer at my dad's was nothing really. So then the task at hand was to find someone to match Matt for a bowl. I thought it'd be much easier than it was. I spoke with Benji and his crew who were looking for the same thing - but they decided against us because their shit was superior. So whatever, i understood that. The only other in the place was this kid whos name i forget of course and who had just smoked. So he didn't want to move his punkass to work with us. It was whatever though. We were asked to smoke outside but i didn't think it was a big deal to smoke in the basement with Matt. Following us in an extremely eager fashion was Justin, who's damn cool. Then this dude named John who felt young but held his own after drooling all over himself - i hooked him up with pot and later warned him about Tommy wanting to punch him in the face for no apparent reason. Then there was Jeff who i almost fought in my down times almost a year ago. But we're on cool grounds now. He smoked up and later told me he'd remember the fact that i bummed him a square on the deck but no one else around asking. And then there was this dude that i can't remember his name and it pisses me off. In school at one point he was a new kid. Kind of a pretty boy type with single pierced ears and a catchy smile - he always seemed to be along with the fathead preps. But he turned out to be damn cool to me and was real chill just having a good time through the night.
So many names exchanged. I met a couple Freshmen girls named Lindsey and Jessica who're from Alabama. Of course we spoke immediately about Autumn and out ties to her. Most extensively, we talked about their small town home and my sister being damn cool. I like raising my sister when i have the opportunity. They were pretty cool, chillin in blue flannel pajama pants wearing too much make up. I thought about telling them that i think they'd look better with less. I was informed i missed most of the ridiculous drama and shit - the younglings were scared off by a farce police threat.
But what really blew me away about the night was the uncanny mix of people. Among the drunkards and tokers were edgers man. Joey, David, and Kevin. They just hung around doin their thing mixing with people. David is damn cool - he's hung with my crew in my room while we smoked and so candidly held my fan in front of himself. So we talked about whatever along the way. I talked to Joey about his position change at Dierbergs and his newest music project. Maybe sounds cool. I've never really talked to Kevin. I'm told he's a cool dude, but to me he seems like he always does his own thing and it's never my thing. At shows he dances only sporadically and usually when not many others are. And tonight i don't think he looked at me. He was seemingly after something with Lindsey Judge. She is damn cool with me. We used to eat lunch together and have hung out before. She was excited to see me and asked what i was up to. Later on i was sad to hear that she blatantly asked Kevin if he wanted to fuck. At first they were separate and i took it as a joke. But then they disappeared and resurfaced together as i was leaving.
Matt had a bit of a down point around the middle of our stay. Mandy was off down the hallway doing whatever it is she does and some guy in an absurdly green shirt stick his hands down the back of her pants. I don't know he was. He was in Benji's crew. Mandy told Matt without my overhearing. He told me moments later. I sat thinking for a bit then turned to him with my thoughts about how drunken idiots will be drunken idiots. It happened to my mom with someone in her gang once awhile ago and it will continue to happen to Mandy. Unfortunately, it's a part of the scene and she's an attractive young woman. Whatever.
Saying goodbyes was pretty fucking cool. I got sincere biddings from everyone there and it was amazing to feel such a measure of myself coming out truly. And then knowing that i was accepted and thought fondly of. I drank a liter of refrigerated water in a bottle. I had a damn good time. I love that the asses are growing and the cool are getting cooler. I would definitely not mind doing that again.
A time came when i decided Matt had a good idea in leaving when i felt it getting later and considering the fact that i have to be at my dad's at 11 in the AM.
I'm not looking forward to getting up unnaturally and knowing that i will stay up because i have to work at 5:30 and close again. But it's a necessary sacrifice. My dad and Lisa are going to try to help me out and things will be cool.
Time to get some Ramen and watch the Secret Garden with Matt.
I love us.
"Everything's gonna be alright..."
~B.M.