Pensive.
A lot has happened in August for me, a lot. Nothing good has really come out of this month except for maybe some stronger friendships.
I still can't get over how close I was with so many people and just all of a sudden it's like I don't exist and everything we did and everything I did for them just was fake. I miss Alyssa, but it won't ever be the same. I feel bad about what happened with me and Harrison - though I'm really not even sure what happened there, it started back in April. I really miss Joanna too.
At least I'm starting to maintain certain relationships, I do enjoy Caitlin, and when I'm not with her I'm either with Josh, Nat or Denny, which is great... but I'd just wish that we could all get along again.
The biggest conflict is whether or not I regret going out with Matt because I wouldn't be so close to Josh now if I didn't, but at the same time things in my life wouldn't be the same... I'd still live with the Fitzpatrick's, who might I add completely erased me from their memories.
My aunt decided to come off TPN, which is a nutritive fluid that she needs to live. It can be as long as two weeks, or as short as one. It's been two days already. I was in the hospital with her last night until 1AM talking.
I have seven half siblings in Philadelphia, and an aunt in Aspen. I never knew.
I don't really know how I feel. I didn't really fall asleep til 7AM. I think I'm just numb.
I'm about to lose the only person who wholeheartedly loves me, unconditionally, the way a mother loves a daughter.
I still can't get over how close I was with so many people and just all of a sudden it's like I don't exist and everything we did and everything I did for them just was fake. I miss Alyssa, but it won't ever be the same. I feel bad about what happened with me and Harrison - though I'm really not even sure what happened there, it started back in April. I really miss Joanna too.
At least I'm starting to maintain certain relationships, I do enjoy Caitlin, and when I'm not with her I'm either with Josh, Nat or Denny, which is great... but I'd just wish that we could all get along again.
The biggest conflict is whether or not I regret going out with Matt because I wouldn't be so close to Josh now if I didn't, but at the same time things in my life wouldn't be the same... I'd still live with the Fitzpatrick's, who might I add completely erased me from their memories.
My aunt decided to come off TPN, which is a nutritive fluid that she needs to live. It can be as long as two weeks, or as short as one. It's been two days already. I was in the hospital with her last night until 1AM talking.
I have seven half siblings in Philadelphia, and an aunt in Aspen. I never knew.
I don't really know how I feel. I didn't really fall asleep til 7AM. I think I'm just numb.
I'm about to lose the only person who wholeheartedly loves me, unconditionally, the way a mother loves a daughter.