some people swear that hindsight is twenty/twenty...
maybe it is. but maybe its more than that. its gotta be living. it consumes and shits and breathes and spits and knows how to hide and plans its attacks wisely. hindsight is the form regret takes after working all day. its there when yr all alone in the cold after saying something that taken any other way than the right way might just end everything youve got goin for ya. its about going home for the first time in weeks with yr step dad and having to explain for the nth time why you dont like captain crunch. hindsight follows you into yr bedroom for the next six hours and watches american movie with you. it helps you re-tuck in the sheets of yr bed and then stays for the entire audio commentary. and deleted scenes. and the extras. and it drags you into the kitchen afterwards and feeds you carrot juice and clif bars and suddenly you turn around and its there. for the first time you can make out its edges. not just the fuzz between nothing and something but you can actually see it. its all so real. you know where it came from and why its here and you can hear it panting and see its breath and you know and it knows and fuck ... and its while yr quickly trying to document this all into ascii that it hits you. not metaphorically: this shit actually fucking bruises you. and its slamming yr fingers into the keyboard. wiping yr brow into yr forehead. twisting yr left foot underneath the weight of yr right. popping yr back. blessing you when you cough. wiping away yr tears. telling you its alright. that yknow this kind of stuff happens. some human nature crap and its just trying to calm you down and slowly you stop mashing those keys. and you sigh. and turn the computer off. and head back to yr room. and turn off all the lights. everything but the near silent machine ambience of the laptop thats always on. blue and orange lights briefly sputter about the room as hindsight cuddles up next to you. it fills the other half of the bed and you almost totally forget her. almost.