Why do I always screw up?
Speaking my mind, I have yet again offended someone and now I feel like a complete ass. From now on, all my messages are going to be as vague as possible so that I can atleast express my self but not let people know what I'm talking about.
The current list of why my life sucks and will continue to do so.
1. My ex ruining my plans in life.
2. Lost my Step-mom
3. Lost my grandmother
4. Losing my other grandmother
5. Losing my grandfather
6. Causing someone I care deeply for to entirely changes this persons thoughts about me and now seems like wants to not even be friends.
7. School issues
1,6,and 7 are my fault. 1 was me letting myself get to attached and throwing my life asside for someone who eventually stabbed me in the back. 6 With everything happening I didn't come online much at all and thus lost contact with many people and now having time to get back online when I'm not in work and just happen to now be single makes me out to be a complete asshole which is correct, I am an asshole. I should have kept in contact with my friends during my tough times but I just have trouble talking when I am going through alot. So to everyone that no longer likes me I am sorry and I will never bother you again. If people want to talk to me then I will wait til they get ahold of me so that I know that they want to talk to be even though I am a super extremely idiotic, bastard. 7 I was just not cut out for my major and I should have probably changed sooner.
Let me just sum it all up right now. I am going through alot of stuff right now and my life is sinking deeper and deeper into the gutter. People don't like me because of my keeping to myself and out of contact during my hard times. Its is how they choose to see things and once the mind is set thinking one way, it is VERY difficult to change. (If I haven't talked to people in several monthes what stopped people from trying to contacts me? No one tried to talk to me. But it is my fault, I must accept it.) The tiny list of people I can trust and are good friends shrinks day by day and it is my fault because I give people a reason to not like me. So this goes out to EVERYONE, whether you can read this or not, I am sorry for being on burden on peoples lives and I will just have to do what is best for everyone and not be a burden on them. For those of you that are my friends, know this...I value you sooo much and know that I do my best in life not to hurt my friendships, sometimes I guess I screw up with out meaning to but know that I care for you all and I am sorry for everything.
I am still talking to a few old friend from drum corps. Kayla says everyone misses me at Spartans. I said who else actually misses me and she didn't respond so my thoughts were correct in knowing it wouldn't be a big deal if I left. I have decided that I am going to march my last year in drum corps next year but I am not going back to Spartans. There are a few people stopping me from returning, but I cannot list them here and why I can't make sure there are no conflicts of any sort. Not sure who reads this and shares it. But anyways, I will 95% likely begoing to Div.I - since I have many corps that I have a garunteed spot in.
On a good note. I have started lifting Kegs every day at work and playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) everyday to keep active and physically fit.
Work is okay. I had to talk to my boss at Kappy's Liquor Store to tell him I can no longer work weekends along with monday nights. Monday nights is my pool league night and I still do my tournaments when I have time. On the weekends I have just started working for Lego in CT.
Hmm, well so much for vague and short. But I guess I really don't have much to hide anymore since I'm losing everything and everyone in my life.
Let me make it nice and simple. If you are my friend and care for me as I care for all of you, please let me know who you are. Any one else, I'm sorry for now being able to have you as a friend and I am sorry for anything that I have done to stop you from being my friend.
The current list of why my life sucks and will continue to do so.
1. My ex ruining my plans in life.
2. Lost my Step-mom
3. Lost my grandmother
4. Losing my other grandmother
5. Losing my grandfather
6. Causing someone I care deeply for to entirely changes this persons thoughts about me and now seems like wants to not even be friends.
7. School issues
1,6,and 7 are my fault. 1 was me letting myself get to attached and throwing my life asside for someone who eventually stabbed me in the back. 6 With everything happening I didn't come online much at all and thus lost contact with many people and now having time to get back online when I'm not in work and just happen to now be single makes me out to be a complete asshole which is correct, I am an asshole. I should have kept in contact with my friends during my tough times but I just have trouble talking when I am going through alot. So to everyone that no longer likes me I am sorry and I will never bother you again. If people want to talk to me then I will wait til they get ahold of me so that I know that they want to talk to be even though I am a super extremely idiotic, bastard. 7 I was just not cut out for my major and I should have probably changed sooner.
Let me just sum it all up right now. I am going through alot of stuff right now and my life is sinking deeper and deeper into the gutter. People don't like me because of my keeping to myself and out of contact during my hard times. Its is how they choose to see things and once the mind is set thinking one way, it is VERY difficult to change. (If I haven't talked to people in several monthes what stopped people from trying to contacts me? No one tried to talk to me. But it is my fault, I must accept it.) The tiny list of people I can trust and are good friends shrinks day by day and it is my fault because I give people a reason to not like me. So this goes out to EVERYONE, whether you can read this or not, I am sorry for being on burden on peoples lives and I will just have to do what is best for everyone and not be a burden on them. For those of you that are my friends, know this...I value you sooo much and know that I do my best in life not to hurt my friendships, sometimes I guess I screw up with out meaning to but know that I care for you all and I am sorry for everything.
I am still talking to a few old friend from drum corps. Kayla says everyone misses me at Spartans. I said who else actually misses me and she didn't respond so my thoughts were correct in knowing it wouldn't be a big deal if I left. I have decided that I am going to march my last year in drum corps next year but I am not going back to Spartans. There are a few people stopping me from returning, but I cannot list them here and why I can't make sure there are no conflicts of any sort. Not sure who reads this and shares it. But anyways, I will 95% likely begoing to Div.I - since I have many corps that I have a garunteed spot in.
On a good note. I have started lifting Kegs every day at work and playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) everyday to keep active and physically fit.
Work is okay. I had to talk to my boss at Kappy's Liquor Store to tell him I can no longer work weekends along with monday nights. Monday nights is my pool league night and I still do my tournaments when I have time. On the weekends I have just started working for Lego in CT.
Hmm, well so much for vague and short. But I guess I really don't have much to hide anymore since I'm losing everything and everyone in my life.
Let me make it nice and simple. If you are my friend and care for me as I care for all of you, please let me know who you are. Any one else, I'm sorry for now being able to have you as a friend and I am sorry for anything that I have done to stop you from being my friend.