Comments | a_lifestyle: [Fic] "Just a Pup"

a_lifestyle

[Fic] "Just a Pup"

Mar 31, 2009 02:58

Title: Just a Pup
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Naruto (Asuma/Kurenai, Kiba/Kurenai)
Rating: NC-17 (Sex, language.)
Words: 3,793
Summary: ( Kurenai knows that he has been watching her for the greater part of ten years. All his senses are acute and strong. She is a powerful, quiet force that knows too well the consequences of patience. )

naruto, fanfic

Comments 7

(The comment has been removed)

a_lifestyle March 31 2009, 13:54:26 UTC

Thank you?

oceansex March 31 2009, 17:51:50 UTC

Wonderful! Sad, but with plenty of sweet moments to still make it enjoyable. I'm not really a fan of Kiba/Kurenai, but this was done beautifully and believably.

I feel bad for poor Kiba, though. Always coming in second. ;o; <3

a_lifestyle April 1 2009, 03:49:18 UTC

Thank you, hon! Actually this is kind of my first venture into thinking about Kiba/Kurenai, so I'm not really a "fan" per se, but I had a little thought about it that wouldn't go away and turned into this. :D Thanks for taking the time to read!

desfinado April 1 2009, 06:19:31 UTC

This was beautifully written! I am a huge fan of Kiba, but rarely see people go into much depth with his character. You write him as so dynamic, as if there is so much more to him... I loved it.

The way you wrote time passing too was very well done, as it can make for tricky transitions in a story. The way you summarized those things that were hallmarks of becoming a teenager, those were so insightful. Mmm.

And the power of your descriptions during sex... whew! Rippling leg muscles, in-character dialogue... it was wonderful.

I would love to beta if you ever need it! I really enjoy editing and giving constructive feedback. I like your writing style a lot so I would really enjoy it :)

a_lifestyle April 1 2009, 12:27:55 UTC

Thank you, sweetie! This was the first time I've ever really explored any of these characters in any kind of depth, so it was kind of a leap of faith, and I'm happy it's getting good response.

(Sadly, this all began as sort of a PWP, and I figured that maybe I should add some...plot or point or depth or something, haha.)

Right now I have a couple of people who have asked if they could help beta for me, but I'm kind of looking around, so is it okay if I pm or email you about it? D:

anat_astarte April 2 2009, 03:30:57 UTC

Wow, awesome fic! I'm in agreement with desfinado, about your wonderful characterizations and dynamics, the passage of time, and also loved how you fit the canon events into this...Great work, really a wonderful, well-written story! :D

a_lifestyle April 3 2009, 04:32:45 UTC

Oh, thank you. :D Thanks for taking the time to read, I appreciate it!