r u ever lookin up thinking of me?
i don't know if you think this is easy. its not. i didn't think it would still hurt after all this but it does. i guess i decided i wanted something and i was so sure i could make it work but i couldn't. i couldn't make u want me like i wanted u to. there were some things at the time that i didn't like but i always thought that it would get better once u decided you wanted to settle. but u never did. and i still cant get you outta my head. i often find myself down and thinking...about u...wondering if things would have ever been different. i don't even know if you ever really loved me, like loved me wanting to be with me forever...or if you just liked having me around for the moment. i guess that's the thing...i just never knew with you. i was always wondering. i didn't want to wonder anymore. i always wondered if i was even your only girl and i could never believe if you said i was. i just wanted u to be in a real relationship with me, but you weren't into that. now i look up in the sky and wonder if you are ever looking up and thinking about me. but sadly, i doubt it. i doubt i had that much of an effect, im sure you went right on to your next conquest. its just so sad to think that way. and here i am with a great guy who really loves me, or thinks he does, and im just always hurting inside and wondering. i guess ill always wonder....and you'll never know....