nigga, what you need? we got weed, and p.o.d...
so in less than 24hours i will be 19.
that means that tomorrow is my birthday.
that means that for the first time i will be completely alone on my birthday.
i would say that laura still counts for somebody being around, but lately shes been proving more and more that she doesnt.
i will not celebrate tomorrow in any way. not because i dont want to, but because i cant. i dont have any money, friends, family (within reasonable distance), or any other means to boost my spirits on this nationally recognized day of celebration.
i will probably cry.
not because im that selfish, and i think my birthday has to be some extravagant ordeal, but because of a few other reasons that are just magnified on my birthday. i hate my life.
i want a girlfriend for my birthday. as cliche and stupid as that sounds, fuck off, i dont care. she might help brighten up my otherwise dismal exsistance. she, at the very least, would be a distraction from the fact that the only reason i have so hastily uprooted myself from the only comfortable exsistance i know is one i wont even be able to enjoy for at least another 4 years.
current candidates...
- megan s. from photo and intro to vc (who is sitting right next to me...how risky)
- angela from intro to vc and drawing
- katerina from Target
out of those 3 hopefuls, lets guess how many are actual possibilities...
1...maybe
megan wont work because shes at least a year or 2 older than me, drinks alot, is rich, and as far as i can tell only talks to other rich people (outside of class, in class we're thick as thieves)
angela wont work...well, no real reason for that besides the fact that i doubt ill ever talk to her and she just seems not really my style.
and katerina is the one that is even just a glimmer of a chance because we've had passionate interactions on 2 seperate occasions now. and the one yesterday we made hand contact (if only for a fleeting second) and long eye contact. she likes what she sees, i can tell...uhh....see ya.
more later...
edit (6:37pm)
that sounds really depressing and sad. and, while i do feel a fraction of what those bleak words would indicate, its probably not that bad. i do, however, wish i was home on my actual birthday, as opposed to the weekend after. whatever.
but on to the real news...
id say thats about right. except for the fact that she freaks out if i so much as accidentally graze her hand with mine, and she looks like shes gonna cry in pictures of the 2 of us. other than that, though, pretty much has i expected.
after this weekend, this beautiful piece of malkav will be mine...
goodnight world...
that means that tomorrow is my birthday.
that means that for the first time i will be completely alone on my birthday.
i would say that laura still counts for somebody being around, but lately shes been proving more and more that she doesnt.
i will not celebrate tomorrow in any way. not because i dont want to, but because i cant. i dont have any money, friends, family (within reasonable distance), or any other means to boost my spirits on this nationally recognized day of celebration.
i will probably cry.
not because im that selfish, and i think my birthday has to be some extravagant ordeal, but because of a few other reasons that are just magnified on my birthday. i hate my life.
i want a girlfriend for my birthday. as cliche and stupid as that sounds, fuck off, i dont care. she might help brighten up my otherwise dismal exsistance. she, at the very least, would be a distraction from the fact that the only reason i have so hastily uprooted myself from the only comfortable exsistance i know is one i wont even be able to enjoy for at least another 4 years.
current candidates...
- megan s. from photo and intro to vc (who is sitting right next to me...how risky)
- angela from intro to vc and drawing
- katerina from Target
out of those 3 hopefuls, lets guess how many are actual possibilities...
1...maybe
megan wont work because shes at least a year or 2 older than me, drinks alot, is rich, and as far as i can tell only talks to other rich people (outside of class, in class we're thick as thieves)
angela wont work...well, no real reason for that besides the fact that i doubt ill ever talk to her and she just seems not really my style.
and katerina is the one that is even just a glimmer of a chance because we've had passionate interactions on 2 seperate occasions now. and the one yesterday we made hand contact (if only for a fleeting second) and long eye contact. she likes what she sees, i can tell...uhh....see ya.
more later...
edit (6:37pm)
that sounds really depressing and sad. and, while i do feel a fraction of what those bleak words would indicate, its probably not that bad. i do, however, wish i was home on my actual birthday, as opposed to the weekend after. whatever.
but on to the real news...
id say thats about right. except for the fact that she freaks out if i so much as accidentally graze her hand with mine, and she looks like shes gonna cry in pictures of the 2 of us. other than that, though, pretty much has i expected.
after this weekend, this beautiful piece of malkav will be mine...
goodnight world...