The Exile, Part II, Chapter X : Respite Part I
Title: The Exile
Chapter: Respite
Author: AGDoren
Rating: Teen
Genre: Romance-Fantasy, AU
Spoilers: Up to and Including episode 4x9
Characters/Pairings: Arthur, Merlin, Gwaine, Elyan, OC and mentions of Guinevere, Uther,Ygraine
Summary: Arthur begins the search for Guinevere even as he mourns her. Merlin seeks magical means to discover the fate of his friend.
Author's notes: I know some of you were expecting a Gwen chapter here but I really want to move the story along but next is all Gwen.
Betaed: by myself and my roommate
Respite like all other chapters these days is split into two parts.
The Exile
Part II
Chapter X, Respite
"Gaius?" Merlin spoke softly hoping the old man might wake but not truly wanting to wake him. When the old man did not wake at his gentle prodding, Merlin sighed and went to his collection of magic books. After Agravaine had questioned Gaius on suspicion of treachery, Merlin had taken magical measures to hide his forbidden books. The warlock lifted his eyes to the ceiling. With a few simple words it opened, dropping the tomes into his waiting hands.
Walking back to the citadel had given Merlin time to think. Arthur could search all of Britannia for Gwen and miss her a thousand times over but magic might find her where all else failed. There were means of scrying and seeing in his books, now was the time to make use of them.
Merlin shut the door to his little room and with a few quick words the candles flared to life. There was always cleaning needing to be done in his room and today was no exception. Laundry littered on the floor, papers, medical logs…he spent so much time cleaning up after Arthur. The young man cleared a space on his bed and sat down with his back against the dull plaster wall and began reading. He found the information he wanted easily enough. Merlin smiled he had recalled correctly
He was considering two options. Dowsing to find her and seeing to discover the outcome of her encounter with the bandit or bandits.
Seeing unfortunately was not like spellcasting or the magic he could do with just a thought. Visions could only be summoned by meditating. Some methods included the use of various tools such as bones, tea leaves, fire reading, tarot cards, the flight of birds, the list went on. Unfortunately none guaranteed a clear vision to a non-seer. Dowsing was more precise. It could be done with a crystal; the steps were very specific. He would know immediately if he were doing it properly.
When dowsing a sorcerer or sorceress selected a crystal and bonded with it. Once bonded with the crystal they concentrated on the person or thing they wished to find. If a map could be used the crystal would point to a location on the map indicating the presence of the lost person or item. If the area being searched was too small for the use of a map, the crystal could be asked to point in the necessary direction.
Merlin weighed his choices. Kilgarrah had assured him that Gwen was either safe or… He did not want to come unknowingly to her gravesite. So while he might want to find her immediately, he knew he must first summon a vision to learn what had been the result of her encounter with the bandit or bandits.
A powerful sorcerer -and he was one- could call a vision simply by meditating upon that which they wished to see. This method was recommended as there was little room for misinterpretation. Merlin placed his pillow on the floor and sat on it tailor's style, facing the east. Merlin took a deep breath filling his lungs and chest before releasing it slowly. He concentrated for a time on his breath and slowly began to build the image of Gwen in his mind as he'd seen her last.
Purple cape belted at the waist, dark curls lose about her shoulders, expression full of sorrow, and weariness as she walked from Camelot alone and defeated. His heart constricted at the memory and Merlin forced himself to concentrate on her as she looked at him over her shoulder. No sooner had he created the image then he thought of The Shade and then Morgana. How for the first time he truly hated her and how he regretted not taking one of his many opportunities to kill her. Then he remembered that he was supposed to be focusing on Gwen and scolded himself for letting his mind wander to The Shade and Morgana.
He couldn't let his hatred of Morgana or his grief for Gwen distract him. He needed to find her. Arthur needed to know Gwen was alive.
He saw in his mind's eye Arthur sitting on the floor, eyes glued to Gwen's ring and crying the most broken, sorrowful sound he'd ever heard. He should have killed Morgana when he had the chance. Gwen would be here right now if he had.
Merlin groaned aloud and opened his eyes.
What had the book called the mind, the chattering monkey? Merlin told his chattering monkey to shut-up and began again with a long, deep breath. He had a feeling that this was going to be one of the most difficult things he'd ever done.
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Arthur woke, hard edge of the table pressed against his cheek. Merlin stood over him. His usually cheerful face frowned down at him, pale rather than flushed with life and color. Dark circles under his eyes gave him a ghoulish cast.
"Morning, here's your breakfast," the manservant held the tray expectantly.
"Morning," Arthur's voice came out gravely and hoarse.
Merlin nodded toward the keepsakes spread over the surface of the table. "Shall I-"
"No!" it came out it as a sharp, panicked command.
Merlin rocked backwards, a look of surprised confusion on his face.
Arthur ignored him and quickly gathered his treasures, hiding them safely from the sight of the world including the leather cord that Gwen had worn the ring on.
"Merlin has Sir Elyan departed?"
"His horse is still here but his quarters have been cleared out."
"Find out if he's requested another mount."
"Yes sire."
He needed to do something for Elyan. Do something about Tom's unjust death. Why he hadn't done anything sooner… Merlin sat a rather perfect looking breakfast tray on the table.
"Sir Leon can take over drills this morning."Merlin said, "I've got pages ready with messages to carry to the councilors canceling council for the duration and-"
"-Everything will go on as usual Merlin. My men need training and my kingdom needs me to run it." Arthur rinsed his mouth and chewed the cloves Merlin had provided to clean his breath and teeth before starting his meal.
"You can't pretend that you're unaffected by this," Merlin countered "You love Gwen-"
"That's enough Merlin." He clenched his hands into fist "Get me the flood reports for Waymet; I'll review them as I eat breakfast."
"She loved you-"
"I said enough." He turned to look at the other man, "What am I supposed to do declare a year of mourning for a woman that many people would happily see dead? I'm too early in my kingship. I want the flood reports on Waymet Merlin now."
A moment later Merlin sat a sheaf of paper s on the table. Arthur studied his breakfast plate, it was beautiful, like something George would have put together. He heard the whooshing sound of drapes being drawn and cheerful sunlight flooded the room. Arthur popped a grape into his mouth. It was time to get some work done. Unfortunately his beautiful breakfast had no taste.
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He gripped the edge of the table and stared down at the wood grain trying desperately to breath. Arthur found himself in council with his grief coming on him from nowhere it seemed; sorrow pulling at him like an undertow.
"Sire are you well?" Was that Lord Troy's voice?
He didn't look up, "We're done." His voice was husky and a part of him wondered if they knew why. He thought he would be fine.
He didn't see the councilors shooting worried looks at one and other or Merlin's hands clutched tightly around a sheaf of papers.
"Sire?" It was Lord Gildas now and his tone betrayed confusion.
"We're done, now, leave all of you. You too Merlin."
Arthur hears the scrape of wooden chairs against the floor.
"But sire?" Merlin objects.
There is the rustle of robes, confused murmurs and feet moving in the direction of the door. The pain surged, swelling like the tide and Arthur clenched his hands together, willing himself to remain calm.
"You, too, Merlin." he says each word slowly and carefully without raising his head.
He hears the door is shutting as his head drops to the table.
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Gwaine was feeling downright responsible and he didn't like it one bit. Instead of spending his free time drinking, flirting and bedding available wenches, he was chasing after Arthur, Elyan and Merlin, making certain that they were well and that none of them did anything foolish.
He didn't take Gwen's possible death lightly. He just- his friend's needed him. He did feel terribly guilty though. What had he been thinking to let her go off alone with just a letter and some funds? Certainly she should have been safe if she stuck to the roads and villages but things rarely went according to plan.
They were in Gaius' chambers. Worried about Arthur and feeling out of his depth, Merlin had asked for their help suddenly. Something he had not done in a long while. He, Percival and Gaius sat at the table. Merlin stood arms crossed leaning against the wall looking desperately unhappy. There was a time when he had thought that he and Merlin were friends, now Gwaine was not so sure.
"Gwaine! Did you hear what I said?" Merlin's tone was waspish.
"Yes, third council meeting cut short this week."
"People are starting to talk." Merlin grumbled.
Percival grunted and pushed back from the table, thinking.
Gwaine let his eyes travel over the collection of tubes, bottles, sticks, papers, straw, stones, masks and the seemingly endless clutter that covered every surface of Gaius' room.
"Grief takes time and we may yet get some news of Gwen." Gaius said and Gwaine frowned. This was far more of an optimistic Gaius than he was used to.
"It's creeping up on him," the knight said at last and Percival nodded.
"Creeping up on him?"
"Yes. Arthur's a strictly disciplined and responsible man but his feelings run quite deep. Uther was a bully, only his feelings about things mattered. So Arthur learned to set his feelings aside," Gwaine frowned."He does this now without being aware of it. But that takes a certain type of concentration whether he knows it or not." Merlin was listening attentively now "Drills, training doesn't really require a lot of his attention so he can focus on keeping it all together but the council meetings need concentration, focus. Once his attention is diverted he's not concentrating on holding his grief down so it creeps up on him. He probably sits in there and broods for hours."
"So what do we do?" Merlin said at last and all eyes went to Gwaine.
He hated being responsible.
Gwaine took a deep breath. "I'll talk to him."
Merlin leaned forward quizzically.
"Trust me; I know exactly what to say. Can you make sure he is in his room by himself after dinner Merlin?"
He nodded.