Laughing on the Wrong Side of my Face
I had a crazy dream last night that I was in London and David Tennant was showing me around. We went to cool restaurants and shops and he was a complete goof ball the whole time. It was a blast. I was rather upset at my aunt when she rang the doorbell and woke me up. I love dreams like that, ones that don't have random messages behind them or consist of things that don't even make sense. This one was just a result of my extreme fangirlness. I had a dream the night before that I was dating Robin Hood. Well, sort of. I was simulanteously Marian and just a friend of the couple. Yeah, makes no sense. It was like Robin went to my school and we were dating but then Marian/I was gone and I was comforting Robin. Really weird.
I had a funeral to go to yesterday. My step-mom's dad died the day before new year's eve. I was sad but I'm not a big crier. It takes alot to make me cry. The priest was talking yesterday at the funeral and he was talking about how many people had attended and how that "spoke volumes". That almost made me cry. I think I was simulataneously mouring Marian and John (my step-mom's dad). And then when we walked up for our final goodbyes I did actually cry for the first time. I think that may have partially just been the atmosphere. My step-sister was really close to her grandfather so she was really upset. For all our disagreements and as much as she bugs the shit out of me sometimes I felt so bad for her. It actually kind of brought us closer though. My sister was actually annoying me though. She was like "I am the expert on dealing with loss. Come, and here my speak my wisdom." Ok, the only people she has lost were our great grandparents. Who neither of us were close to. It just annoyed me. I know she was trying to help but it was just overwhelming. My dad walked over to me when I was crying and said "I thought you didn't cry." and this is what popped out of my mouth "I'm not crying. I'm laughing on the wrong side of my face." It was just a reaction! It's official. Robin Hood has taken over my brain. Kind of really not good. Especially as I have to go back to school on Monday and deal with normal non-RH obsessed people. My weirdness rate is going to go waay up.
The wake/funeral process kind of put some things in perspective for me. Like how my much my dad means to me. Watching my step-mom cry really made me think of how hard it would be to lose my dad. I literally could not imagine life without him. He's always been my rock and my support system but I don't think I really realised it until now.
Now, on to something a little less angsty. I watched Fight Club last night and wow. That movie is amazing. It really fucks with you head but it is so good. And oh boy is Brad Pitt hot. I don't think I ever noticed that before. Really, really good movie though. I (unfortuntaly) have home work to do and a house to clean so I'm going to finish this update. I hope everyone's having a good new year!
I had a funeral to go to yesterday. My step-mom's dad died the day before new year's eve. I was sad but I'm not a big crier. It takes alot to make me cry. The priest was talking yesterday at the funeral and he was talking about how many people had attended and how that "spoke volumes". That almost made me cry. I think I was simulataneously mouring Marian and John (my step-mom's dad). And then when we walked up for our final goodbyes I did actually cry for the first time. I think that may have partially just been the atmosphere. My step-sister was really close to her grandfather so she was really upset. For all our disagreements and as much as she bugs the shit out of me sometimes I felt so bad for her. It actually kind of brought us closer though. My sister was actually annoying me though. She was like "I am the expert on dealing with loss. Come, and here my speak my wisdom." Ok, the only people she has lost were our great grandparents. Who neither of us were close to. It just annoyed me. I know she was trying to help but it was just overwhelming. My dad walked over to me when I was crying and said "I thought you didn't cry." and this is what popped out of my mouth "I'm not crying. I'm laughing on the wrong side of my face." It was just a reaction! It's official. Robin Hood has taken over my brain. Kind of really not good. Especially as I have to go back to school on Monday and deal with normal non-RH obsessed people. My weirdness rate is going to go waay up.
The wake/funeral process kind of put some things in perspective for me. Like how my much my dad means to me. Watching my step-mom cry really made me think of how hard it would be to lose my dad. I literally could not imagine life without him. He's always been my rock and my support system but I don't think I really realised it until now.
Now, on to something a little less angsty. I watched Fight Club last night and wow. That movie is amazing. It really fucks with you head but it is so good. And oh boy is Brad Pitt hot. I don't think I ever noticed that before. Really, really good movie though. I (unfortuntaly) have home work to do and a house to clean so I'm going to finish this update. I hope everyone's having a good new year!