"I'm ripe with things to say. The words rot and rall away."
I have no idea what will happen in five years or in five minutes. That's a horribly frightening concept. A lot of people love the fact that that is so - they are excited by it. But for me, I think it (the unknown, that is) might just be my biggest fear. And whenever I think about it, I always have some horrible vision of the future. I always see it ending for me or someone I care deeply about (which just might as well be the end for me)in some tragic way, be it a car crash, or murder, some entirely freak accident. I don't know why... when I picture the future, it always seems so sad to me... I have all these hopes and stuff, and it all seems so nice when I think about them, but somewhere in the back of my mind, that sorrow still seems to linger. I don't know why... I guess it's because I'm so scared, and even though I'd love for things to turn out the way I want them to, there are no gurantees (sp?) that that's what's going to happen. There isn't the slightest clue about anything. I don't know why I'm even talking about this... I guess I just don't want to die in a state of fear, and I don't want to lose anyone. I can't even imagine what I would do if my mom or Dan died. I think I would just cease to exist. Even the people I don't really talk to anymore would be horrible to lose. Like Emily or Erin, even though we're not what we once were, I would still be completely devistated and broken of something happened to them. Grief is such a horrible emotion. I hate loss. I just hate being sad in general... but then again, who DOES like it? I don't know the purpose to any of this babbling or even if any of it makes sense... oh well...
So anyway, here's an update of the crap that has happened to me lately (or something of that nature):
* I hate Jeff.
* I hate Jonah.
* I hate Bipin.
* While some idiot kid was trying to race Dan, he tried to turn while going too fast and got into an accident... kind of amusing.
* I have decided to ditch the history teacher idea and go ahead with the palentology thing. It's gonna be a lot of school and a LOT of work, but I think in the end it will be well worth it.
* I got two new pairs of shoes; one of them from dan for my Birthday. He also got me the Roswell season one DVDs.
* I read Ralph Finnes is going to be playing Voldemort in the Goblet of fire - an EXCELLENT choice. He made a great Nazi in Schindler's List.
* I cannot wait for the Half-Blood Prince (July 16th)
* My Aunt Ruth is coming in on Friday for a couple weeks.
* Rick is an amazing prank caller (Fuck you, B96!)
* I finally got an eye exam and, much to my surprise, found out that I have nearly 20/20 vision with my glasses, even though everything seems blurry to me. Regardless, I got a new pair.
* Randy Webb is a crazy little man.
* Artificial Nails are my new archenemy.
* Dan and I have been together for almost 14 months.
* I love My Chemical Romance
* Weezer?
Ok, kids, I must be going now, seeing as I'm supposed to be cleaning. (oopsies!)
Okbye.
********
So anyway, here's an update of the crap that has happened to me lately (or something of that nature):
* I hate Jeff.
* I hate Jonah.
* I hate Bipin.
* While some idiot kid was trying to race Dan, he tried to turn while going too fast and got into an accident... kind of amusing.
* I have decided to ditch the history teacher idea and go ahead with the palentology thing. It's gonna be a lot of school and a LOT of work, but I think in the end it will be well worth it.
* I got two new pairs of shoes; one of them from dan for my Birthday. He also got me the Roswell season one DVDs.
* I read Ralph Finnes is going to be playing Voldemort in the Goblet of fire - an EXCELLENT choice. He made a great Nazi in Schindler's List.
* I cannot wait for the Half-Blood Prince (July 16th)
* My Aunt Ruth is coming in on Friday for a couple weeks.
* Rick is an amazing prank caller (Fuck you, B96!)
* I finally got an eye exam and, much to my surprise, found out that I have nearly 20/20 vision with my glasses, even though everything seems blurry to me. Regardless, I got a new pair.
* Randy Webb is a crazy little man.
* Artificial Nails are my new archenemy.
* Dan and I have been together for almost 14 months.
* I love My Chemical Romance
* Weezer?
Ok, kids, I must be going now, seeing as I'm supposed to be cleaning. (oopsies!)
Okbye.
********