It's late when he arrives upstairs, so his knock is quiet and hesitant. When there's no answer, he opens the door (it might have been locked, but that is easily circumvented) to find Crowley sound asleep on top of the bedclothes
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Small mercies: there's no window in the room, no sunlight to slant across the bed, slowly creeping up the mattress until it shines through sleeping eyelids. There's only the dimmed lamplight, warmer and more forgiving than the day.
In here, it could be any time at all.
But it isn't; it's morning, and some things are as regular and predictable as the hidden sunrise itself. Although the room is perfectly warm, Crowley huffs silently in unconscious complaint, hunching slightly in something that isn't quite a shiver. Her bare feet curl against the blanket.
After a moment, she reaches out, hand questing instinctively - plaintively - across the bedclothes. Almost entirely insensible or no, Crowley's still a demon, and this much she knows without even needing to be aware: there's an angel in the room.
Aziraphael might be trying not to stare, but he's not entirely successful; from the moment Crowley's breathing changes, he's tensed and watching every movement. When she extends a hand, he's out of the chair and next to the bed before he's even had a chance to think about it.
Once there, he does have that chance to think about it. He takes her hand anyway, holding it delicately in both of his.
"My dear," he begins, and when he can't think of anything else, he leaves it at that.
"Nrghf," comes the intensely familiar grumble, muffled by the pillows. After a moment, when this does not have the usual result (a net increase in the amount of both angel and duvet in Crowley's immediate proximity), her fingers tighten a little between Aziraphael's.
He finally sits on the bed, raising her hand to deliver a quick kiss to the knuckles, then glancing up to see if there's any reaction. He still looks wary, but it's outweighed at the moment by concern.
With a grunt of satisfaction, she wriggles a little closer - but finds a hip instead of a shoulder to tuck her head against, and no answering arm slung across her midsection. It takes a little while, but finally some minuscule hindsection of her brain notes that this is deeply irregular, and - after a few seconds more - one bleary yellow eye slits open.
Her first thought is: he doesn't know. That's why he's here.
Distantly, then, it occurs to her that Aziraphael can probably feel her heartbeat, pressed up against his leg. That's what makes her move in the end, pushing herself slowly into a sitting position with an absurd degree of care for -
Her head doesn't hurt. Not as much as she thought it would.
"Er. It's not hard to see that you'd prefer to be left alone," he begins, carefully. "But last night you were upset. Angry. So I just wanted to--" He breaks off, because 'make sure you were all right' is accurate enough, but he'd known that Crowley was more or less all right as soon as she calmed down and Aziraphael had stopped getting stabs of rage through his lapel.
Fuck, is all. Fuck. She's just woken up, and her cheek still shows red lines from the wrinkled pillowcase, and she knows her expression isn't guarded enough to hide the prickle of - yes, there it is - guilt (shame) that creeps down her neck and makes her ribs seem too small.
There's a strand of hair that's not quite falling in Crowley's eyes, but is definitely in her face. He wants very badly to brush it away, but he's still feeling too skittish.
"You didn't go home last night," he says instead, hesitant.
Home. It means the bookshop, of course. But these days, it refers just as much to Crowley's flat, where (by unspoken agreement, and silent compromise) Aziraphael is as likely to turn up as Crowley is to wander into the bookshop - and where they spend perhaps half the nights in any given week.
In here, it could be any time at all.
But it isn't; it's morning, and some things are as regular and predictable as the hidden sunrise itself. Although the room is perfectly warm, Crowley huffs silently in unconscious complaint, hunching slightly in something that isn't quite a shiver. Her bare feet curl against the blanket.
After a moment, she reaches out, hand questing instinctively - plaintively - across the bedclothes. Almost entirely insensible or no, Crowley's still a demon, and this much she knows without even needing to be aware: there's an angel in the room.
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Once there, he does have that chance to think about it. He takes her hand anyway, holding it delicately in both of his.
"My dear," he begins, and when he can't think of anything else, he leaves it at that.
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The hand in Aziraphael's stiffens.
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"Morning," she says then, without inflection.
(She doesn't pull away.)
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"How are you feeling?"
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She stays put, she leaves her hand in Aziraphael's - that's a good sign. But she isn't complaining.
That's not.
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Distantly, then, it occurs to her that Aziraphael can probably feel her heartbeat, pressed up against his leg. That's what makes her move in the end, pushing herself slowly into a sitting position with an absurd degree of care for -
Her head doesn't hurt. Not as much as she thought it would.
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"Er. It's not hard to see that you'd prefer to be left alone," he begins, carefully. "But last night you were upset. Angry. So I just wanted to--" He breaks off, because 'make sure you were all right' is accurate enough, but he'd known that Crowley was more or less all right as soon as she calmed down and Aziraphael had stopped getting stabs of rage through his lapel.
"I wanted to be here," he concludes weakly.
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Fuck, is all. Fuck. She's just woken up, and her cheek still shows red lines from the wrinkled pillowcase, and she knows her expression isn't guarded enough to hide the prickle of - yes, there it is - guilt (shame) that creeps down her neck and makes her ribs seem too small.
Small. That's it.
She feels small.
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"You didn't go home last night," he says instead, hesitant.
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Home. It means the bookshop, of course. But these days, it refers just as much to Crowley's flat, where (by unspoken agreement, and silent compromise) Aziraphael is as likely to turn up as Crowley is to wander into the bookshop - and where they spend perhaps half the nights in any given week.
It's starting to look like someone lives there.
"I didn't want - " she says. "I had a long day."
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He glances down at their hands, then up again, and it comes out in a rush.
"Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?"
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