(no subject)
why am i having so much trouble with this monologue? god, i just cant seem to "feel" it. there is a part where i have to basically break down and i just cant do it. i have no clue why this is such a problem. maybe im a little apprehensive about showing that much of myself to an audience. is it insecurity? i dont know...im having such trouble with putting myself in a place mentally, where i would actually break down and cry. maybe i need to try a different tactic. i hate thinking about the experience that makes me so upset. it seems like thats the only thing that could make me cry at the drop of a hat though. however, even when i do get that upset, it takes awhile for me to work myself up to that point. i very well cant stop in the middle of my monologue and take the time to do all that. ugh, this sucks.