(no subject)
I've gotten pretty good, I think, at distinguishing when my mother's crabbiness is really directed at me, and when it is just the rebound from her annoyance at someone else. I can now predict, almost to the second, when, and at whom, her bitching will next be directed. And I don't take it personally anymore (usually) because, as I have finally realized, it isn't about me. Which is a comforting feeling, and an important life skill, I feel.
I'm lying in bed, about to jump back into my book (the fellowship of the ring, what what) and I've got the overhead fan whirring full speed. I just spent almost an hour lying in the sun in a (probably vain) attempt to, when school starts again, fool people into thinking that I haven't been inside all summer (even though that is precisely the case). Having an indoor job and not going to the beach is a pretty good recipe for pale. Normally I like my complexion, but sometimes I like to look a little sunkissed, or I start to look sickly. That, and whenever I have free time in the summer, it NEVER occurs to me to lay out. EVER. Which means, I guess, that ultimately it doesn't matter enough to my subconscious to prod me in the direction of the chaise lounge on sunny days, and that I just come up with fucking better things to do with my time. :)
I'm lying in bed, about to jump back into my book (the fellowship of the ring, what what) and I've got the overhead fan whirring full speed. I just spent almost an hour lying in the sun in a (probably vain) attempt to, when school starts again, fool people into thinking that I haven't been inside all summer (even though that is precisely the case). Having an indoor job and not going to the beach is a pretty good recipe for pale. Normally I like my complexion, but sometimes I like to look a little sunkissed, or I start to look sickly. That, and whenever I have free time in the summer, it NEVER occurs to me to lay out. EVER. Which means, I guess, that ultimately it doesn't matter enough to my subconscious to prod me in the direction of the chaise lounge on sunny days, and that I just come up with fucking better things to do with my time. :)