(no subject)
I've been sitting here trying to write a journal entry and I have to keep erasing it because I just can't write it. If I put it down in here then that means that I'm going to have to deal with it and I still don't want to. Yesterday made it a whole year since the accident but it still feels like it could have been last week. I have pictures, but I can't put them up. I can't talk about it without crying, I can't think about it without crying. The only image that has been running through my head for days now is putting that rose on the coffin and walking away. That moment, that one second of my life has made a greater impact on me than 18 and a half years combined. I didn't want to write this entry because I hate talking to people about it. I hate having to go over the details again. I hate having to retell the story. Because honestly, you can't make someone see how much a person meant to you. You can't explain grief and anger. At the same time though I hate that I can't talk about it. Sometimes there's no way around it... life just sucks.