I think I'm a clone now

[ippotsuko]

Who: ippotsuko and bucky_cap
When: Saturday
Where: Bucky's apartment
Summary: It's time for a father-son discussion about guilt issues! Because their body counts are ridiculous.
Rating: PG-13?
Warnings: Discussion of brutal murder, Accelerator's mouth.

Comments

[bucky_cap]

Bucky's been working on post-takeover plans. In between that, and reacquainting with Natasha, and moving all his things over from F1 to his new apartment, things have been pretty hectic. Now is no different, he's sitting in the living room amongst a spread of papers, a pen behind his ear and one in his hand, taking notes and scribbling down ideas for the security of the station and the operation of his new division.

The loud knocking on the door makes him scramble to his feet, though, because he isn't expecting anyone to come visit. Dick and Barbara are probably still settling into their new house, Jim, Tom and Nat wouldn't bother to knock, Carol probably wouldn't knock either... He opens up the door to find Accelerator, and manages a smile.

"Hey there, kiddo. C'mon in."

[ippotsuko]

Accelerator wasted no time entering, but he certainly didn't return the smile--all Bucky got was a wary glance.

"Tch...where are all of your shitty friends? Not that I particularly care."

After a moment of hesitation, he finally adds,"...Got a minute?"

[bucky_cap]

Bucky waves toward the overstuffed couch, indicating he can sit down if he wants to, and moves to start picking up his papers. "Tasha, Jim and Tom are all out right now." Once he's gotten the living room tidied up a little, he sets the papers on the coffee table and moves into the kitchen.

"Want something to drink? I've always got time for you, kiddo."

[ippotsuko]

Accelerator wastes no time taking the offer--Bucky should know by now that the boy really likes couches--and making himself comfortable.

"Tch, I'm fine, unless you have coffee.

...How have you felt about the shit that's been going on lately?"

[bucky_cap]

Yep, he knows the boy really likes couches by now. And he's always welcome on Bucky's couch, he should know that by now. "Instant alright? I haven't made a trip to the storehouses for the real thing yet." But he's moving to get the instant coffee and some hot water out anyway, because he could use a cup himself.

"I haven't really had time to think about much of anything lately, honestly. I'm going to be running security around here, and that's been taking up most of my thoughts. What's on your mind?"

[ippotsuko]

"That's fine..." he's muttering, at this point," Shouldn't it be obvious? We're all fucking clones, aren't we? So why the hell is everyone frolicking about like nothing's changed?"

[bucky_cap]

It's not something he's really had the time to think about. The question makes him pause for a moment before he goes back to fixing two mugs of instant coffee. He's quiet as he carries them into the living room and sits on the couch, handing Accelerator a cup. "It isn't something I've had time to consider, but you're right. I mean, we suspected, but... Now we know it's true. I guess it's time to think about... what this means."

[ippotsuko]

He doesn't answer at first--just sips his coffee.

"...If I'm not the real Acclerator, then..." he lets a bitter laugh," I really haven't murdered anyone, have I? Minus those shitty interns..."

[bucky_cap]

Bucky pauses, staring into his own cup of coffee as if it holds all the answers, swirling around somewhere on the surface of the dark liquid. Clones. And Accelerator has a point. If they were just grown in test tubes and released with all the memories of their counterparts...

"...I guess so. That's- That's what being clones would mean, isn't it? The nightmares still feel so real though."

[ippotsuko]

"Isn't that the point? They wanted it to feel real...every body you've ripped apart, the blood dripping off of you..." he takes a deep breath, "But then you learn that you even have to try to find a way to live with yourself because...you never did that shit."

He hangs his head because...honestly? The vast majority of his actions are fueled by guilt, and without that...he doesn't know what to do with himself.

[bucky_cap]

"So. You never technically killed anyone except the people here. How does that make you feel now?" Because it's more important to help Accelerator with his feelings than dealing with this thought himself. He isn't sure it'll change how he feels about himself, but Accelerator... He doesn't want him to have to deal with that guilt.