As soon as I'm left alone--

[juggalulz]

Who: Gamzee and Karkat
When: Late Tuesday night, very soon after this encounter
Where: Gamzee's block
Summary: There was a...little slip-up in Gamzee's whole "trying not to murder people" thing. In the form of one of Karkat and Gamzee's good friends. Karkat tries to find out what the hell is going on.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Swearing and talk of

Comments

[juggalulz]

That voice from his fucking mind-abyss is yelling that it's not Karkat's decision what happens and what doesn't happen, that he's not in charge here, but it's so quiet that Gamzee squeezes his eyes shut hard, shuts him up, and opens them again.

"...okay."

He knows it sounds stupid, but he doesn't know what else to say.

"...thought...maybe she was just coming to say hi to a brother." He rubs his eyes roughly with the front of his arm and smears his ruined makeup even more. "Thought maybe..."

"............I'm fuckin' sorry."

Gamzee doesn't know what else to say, really, he really, really doesn't. He realizes that he really wants any kind of comforting words, or a hug, or just someone to tell him he's not completely unfixable, but the way Karkat's reacting doesn't do much to help that--so maybe he can make Karkat feel better, at least. He'll apologize, because he IS sorry that he upset Karkat. But maybe not so much about anything else, or at least, as much as he probably should be.

He glances at his bed. "I'll stay under there. Don't...just don't tell any motherfuckers what happened. And I'll stay under there."

[sufferheir]

He's quiet for a long moment, his arms still around his chest. Then he breaks.

"Gamzee..." And he looks up at him, his eyebrows knit with worry and concern.

"Don't," he says, and swallows as he tries to figure out what to say. "Don't fucking talk like that, okay? It's not like you're...like you're..." He shakes his head. "This wasn't you. And she shouldn't have pushed you, that isn't your fault."

"I should have stopped this and I fucked up, but it's...it's not permanent. We can make this okay."

[juggalulz]

He smiles, crooked and sad. "It's my fuckin' fault, brother. At the motherfuckin' bloodpumper of it all. A motherfucker....knows that. Right now."

"And it definitely ain't yours." Karkat being here was probably the only reason Gamzee didn't completely do a swan dive off the deep end forever, in the first place.

"If she weren't all close with....fuckin' Vriska. It probably wouldn't of fuckin' gone down like that, maybe. I just can't...a motherfucker can't get it outta his..."

He scratches the back of his head, through his ratty hair and speaks quieter than before. "Missing Tavros like a motherfuck. And other stuff. Never really felt this kinda shit before." Because feeling nothing was pretty easy when you were zoning out into space.

"But....I saw fuckin' Terezi. Nothing bad happened when I saw a legisister. Just gotta figure out how to shut the bad motherfucker up. The bad me."