Shackin up with aliens

[sparkle_gun]

Who: Robin [sparkle_gun] and Barney [starneybinson]
When: Sunday after the reset sometime and Barney wakes up
Where: Cafeteria
Summary: Barney's just woken up from being catatonic. Robin was so not worried wants to make sure he wasn't shacking up with aliens so she goes to check on him.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: It's Robin and Barney, so innuendo and some language probably

Comments

[starneybinson]

Barney almost skipped to the cafeteria, joyous to be awake and to have Robin wanting to see him. He was jubilant!

He entered the cafeteria, all suave and smooth as always, fixing his tie and he saw her. His dreams about her never did her justice!

She looked nervous, scared even! He raised his eyebrow at her, quizzically. "Robin?"

[sparkle_gun]

She was still clutching her elbows when there were shoes tapping at the other end of the cafeteria. Sharp shoes. Dress shoes?

Robin turned and there was Barney, coming toward here with some sort of little smile on his face. She nearly let out some sort of strangled cry. Cool it, Scherbatsky, she coached herself. She was calm, she didn't let anything get to her. It had been a tough week though. She'd had no one here, and she'd half convinced herself he was fucking dead (and these people here were NOT helpful with convincing her otherwise, and what lame friends they made, Lily would have definitely helped convinced her he was alive), and then at the end, she'd been scolded by some best friend evil witch look alike and guilted into practically sobbing

[starneybinson]

"Alive? Of course I'm alive!" He held her tightly, wondering at how great it felt to have her in his arms... He couldn't help himself, so he smelled her hair, dizzy from how great he felt like this. Robin had hugged him! She was genuinely happy to see him! She'd been worried about him...! Butterflies fluttered in his chest, a feeling he rarely had except when around her.

"Who told you I wasn't?!" He'd kill them for making her worry so much! Well... He wouldn't kill them. He doubted he could do that...

[sparkle_gun]

She held onto him for probably a few more seconds than she should have, but it felt so damn good to be right there, at this moment right now. Her whole world had tumbled over in less than a week and she'd felt this dizzying vertigo before, that was definitely true, but nothing of this magnitude. Barney wasn't her first choice to be stuck here with her but he was one of her best friends. She was lucky for what she got here.

She wrenched herself free a few moments later and ran a hand through her hair nervously, smiling. "Well, I mean... this place is kinda crazy," she said in a tight voice. "I mean, like I said, aliens isn't too far off." She waved a hand in what she hoped was easy dismissal at his demand to know who had told her that. "You coulda gone to the moon for all we knew. Don't worry about it, I wasn't seriously worried." She snorted as derisively as she could, and then shook her head. "No, I wasn't worried, of course not. I knew you were fine

[starneybinson]

When she broke the hug, Barney felt crushed. He just wanted to keep her there. But he couldn't. No, of course not! I wasn't in love with her. No. No!

Who was he kidding, of course he was.

She was saying that she hadn't missed him. That hurt. God! What had become of him! He was being hurt by a woman's indifference.

But as she continued to talk, she kept repeating herself and waving her hand around oh so casually. That snort of hers was perfection. He smirked a little. She had missed him. As her stream of words came to an end, she looked at him. He gazed back. "Huh?" He then realized what she had said. "Um, yeah, sure."

He took the one she passed to him and took a bite, and he almost spat it out. "Urgh, I forgot how disgusting these things are. They're not even worth making a joke about, they're that awful, really!" The truth was, his mind was so fogged by her that he couldn't even think of anything witty to say. That was bad. He had to be the Barney she knew and...loved? No. He couldn't let himself think that either! She didn't

[sparkle_gun]

He seemed to take her quick push off easily enough, which was good because she wasn't in the mood for explaining herself or defending herself against his merciless wit. It didn't come though, and Barney seemed to turn his attention to the food. Or the really lame excuse for food that wasn't really food. She craved a burger right now. A thick, juicy, fantastic burger...

This longing and wanting shit that wasn't around was going to get old pretty damn fast.

She watched him eat it and clutched her elbows again, walking over to one of the tables, feeling suddenly self-conscious as she sat and indicated the seat next to her. "You didn't miss much this week," she said, moving on to rubbing the back of her neck languidly. "Besides me putting that demon witch bitch in her place." Lie. "There was this touch swap, but I didn't even know who my partner was." Truth. "I guess this week is some master-slave thing. This place pretty much sucks, Stinson. I'd live in Alaska rather than here." Okay, that was a lie.

[starneybinson]

Alaska?! Did she not appreciate the fact that he was here and not in Alaska?! Did she not want to be with him that much?!!

"I really would've liked to see that, Scherbatsky! Girl fights are hot. I'm skeptical about what might happen if I'm a slave, but think of the possibilities as a master... But Alaska, Robin, really..." He shivered dramatically. "Well, you are Canadian. Alaska must feel just like home, huh? High five!" He raised his hand for a high-five, grinning.

[sparkle_gun]

She rolled her eyes-- she knew all about his girl fight theory. Her apartment still had that hole in the wall to prove it.

"Well, you won't be seeing it anytime soon," she said lightly. "Lack of girls here makes it kind of hard to witness an actual girl fight. I'm not interested in going at it with those ninjas." Actually, she sort of was, but she knew herself better than that: she just needed a swift kick to the face and she wouldn't get back up again. She knew hockey. Ninja fighting, not so much.

When he mentioned Alaska, she suddenly fixed him with a death glare and looked at his hand pointedly. "You are not comparing Canada to Alaska, are you?" She let his hand hanging, folding her hands across her chest. All she had said-- lied about, really-- was that could possibly stand Alaska more than here. But comparing it and saying it was just like home?

That was blasphemy.

[starneybinson]

She had left him hanging. No that really hurt. He could hardly coerce someone else to give him a high five.. the last time someone had done this to him, his arm had been in the air for hours just waiting for that satisfying slap on the hand.

"Self five!" He said indignantly, slapping his hand with his other one.

"Oh, come on, Robin! Alaskans are more Canadian than they are American! No real American would live in the snow year-round like that." He cut himself off. He didn't want to get her mad! No, no he didn't.

He cleared his throat, contemplating the last bite of the nutrition bar. With a grimace, he ate it, feeling no satisfaction at all. Bad food and a bad high five. This place really was hell.

He looked up at her, looking into her eyes again, and thought maybe not hell for long...!

[sparkle_gun]

She chuckled a little at his antic, relaxing her arms a little. That was the Barney she knew. It suddenly occurred to her how much she had missed him during the week he'd been comatose, and sleeping with aliens, or wherever the hell he'd been. It had scared her--it had really, really scared her, to think that she'd be stuck in this place forever, by herself, with nobody but people she didn't know and lukewarm beer and no guns and... it had just been a horrifying possibility. Robin didn't make friends well.

But he was back now and while she was still scared (goddamnit, being scared, she was better than that), at least he was back and she wasn't alone. She smiled, sort of fondly to herself, and then sort of ridiculously smiled as he started talking about Alaska and Canada. This was her Barney, at least.

"You're going to regret your words, Stinson," she said slowly. She had nothing to threaten him with at the moment, so she settled for a haughty, evil smile. "You just wait."

[starneybinson]

"I look forward to it, Scherbatsky." He smirked back at her, enjoying how cute she looked when she tried to be evil. He was a little scared though. She could make good on that threat, knowing her..!

A little awkward, he broke eye contact by glancing around disgustedly at the white, white cafeteria. "You'd think with all the money they must spend on these experiments they'd at least have the decency to hire a good designer for this place. The color scheme is just.." He gave a dramatic shiver.

Distance. he had to keep his distance. But.. but he wanted her so badly!! I mean, it's Robin!! Why couldn't he just man up and make a move?! Oh, right, cause he'd probably just screw it up. Again.

[sparkle_gun]

She just made a face at him as he went on about the cafeteria. Decorating? He was commenting on the decorating? When there was no beer, no boobs, and no brass? Maybe he had already complained about those things enough; after all, apparently he'd been here a lot longer than she had. And that was perfectly fine; she was just getting started on things to complain about

[starneybinson]

"I've done that before," he pouted, remembering that fact all too well. Then he felt better, also remembering who he was sitting next to. "So, you think that they're racists, huh? There's enough proof for it. The black to white ratio is almost in negative numbers!"

"So, Scherbatsky. I say, you, me and a paint brush? Maybe we could remedy the problem of the racist walls?" He saw her skeptical expression, and winced inwardly. "Or we could think of something better to do..?"

Why did he always act like an idiot around her?! WHY?! Usually he was so serious and suave, but now...!!

[sparkle_gun]

She gave him a look when he suggested the paint brush, and then cast a glance back, over at the cafeteria. For starters, she didn't know how to paint. For seconds, they didn't have any paint brushes. For thirds, she had a limited amount of clothes and damn if she was getting paint on them.

However...

"Do we even have paint brushes?" She sat up then, casting him a glance, grinned, and then said, "And by the way, only gay men know decorating. Fact of life. I mean, I know you're desperate, but geez Barney. Turned gay that fast?"

[starneybinson]

"Robin!! No. I'm not gay! I may look it, with my excellent sense of style, but you shouldn't stereotype. Look who's got the prejudice now, huh? Maybe I should paint a rainbow on you, so that you can see the light!!" He grinned, imagining her all painted and colorful...

"There's a guy here who can make stuff out of other stuff. It's really awesome, Robin! You should see it! I'm sure he'd make us some paint and brushes and everything, if we ask nicely." He winked at her, implying something.

[sparkle_gun]

"I'm not stereotyping, I"m just telling it like it is," she protested, and then stood up. "And now rainbows, please, they'd clash with my hair." She listened to him say something about some guy who could just make stuff out of other stuff, and then she started to get excited. It was the first glimmer of the feeling she'd had since she'd been here.

"Seriously? What are we waiting for? Let's get to scarring the minds of those kids forever!" She turned away, and then turned back, raising an eyebrow. "If you think I'm going to sleep with him to get him to do this.... well, what does he look like?"