[Complete] Just two friends...
Who: Lavi (historyrabbit) and Kanda Yu (kanda_exorcist)
When: Wednesday
Where: Kanda's room
Summary: Two friends talking about an annoying Noah
Rating: PG-13 (language, aluded situations)
Warnings: Language, aluded situations
There were so many things that they could talk about but they wouldn't, things from home Lavi still hadn't gotten over and he could tell that they haunted Kanda too somewhat. At most it would just be to ask him not to tell Allen, just like Link had asked of him. It was something that the younger Exorcist didn't need to know, to have on his shoulders to worry about. The redhead could also ask how it was having Itachi back but that really wasn't any of his business, even as a friend. He could guess anyway that the swordsman was relieved and happy just like anyone would be at being reunited with someone they had liked a lot, if not loved.
Lavi still groped for something to talk about regardless of the fact that they didn't need to talk at all. He knew that Kanda preferred silence, where as with Lavi it just made him fidget, especially in the other's presence. It had been an impulse to invite him out, they were comrades in arms at least if not friends and they needed to get back to where they could communicate more easily. Lavi toyed with the bits of paper that he had left over from the group party a while ago, ripping the strips that he found within reach into a neat little pile in front of him.
"How... How has Alma been? I haven't seen him lately." A stupid way to start a conversation but it was the only way that Lavi could currently think of, and it was better than asking how he was handling things. Knowing them.
At first, Kanda had almost told the other Exorcist just where he could shove the idea of them getting together for a little one-on-one, but -luckily- the events of the past few weeks made him agree with the redhead. It had been a little while since they were together last in that messed up story-book F3. The memory he had gotten from Lavi was just one of the many things that had him silently avoiding his friends. It's not every day you learn that you are presumed dead by the organization that created you.
Oddly, what bothered him most was what Link had said happened to Mugen. He'd never heard of innocence rusting, if anything it lashed back at the user to create something horrible. And those of dead users usually went back to it's dormant state. Perhaps being a second Exorcist had something to do with it. Probably. Yet another thing for the dark-haired Exorcist to be moody about.
"Alma..." That was a whole other issue that had plagued his mind. He knew Alma had turned into an Akuma... but the fact that they were both dead and what he had presumably done to Allen... yeah, just more unanswered questions. "Other than the tests he's fine. … He's getting more dreams though." And as long as Lavi didn't pry about Itachi, he wouldn't have to punch him.
Lavi remained quiet for a few more moments after Kanda spoke of the little boy that the redhead had grown fond of but would never get to know at home. It seemed so unfair that Alma would have his life cut so short in so many ways, to be sealed away and then awakened only to attack and almost be killed by the one who was his best friend. But Lavi couldn't do anything for him, not at home, so he had started promising himself he'd try and make things good for Alma while he was here.
"More dreams?" This was the first time that Lavi had heard about Alma's dreams, wondered briefly if they were of the events that would transpire at home. And he hoped they weren't, prophetic dreams were often the worst kind of dreams to have, at least in Lavi's opinion. He recalled having a few deja vu moments at home from dreams months or years ago that he barely remembered and how unsettled they always made him. Always left him wondering why he was doing this again when it was really the first time.
Lavi would never intrude on that, what happened between Kanda and Itachi was between the two of them. It was up to Kanda to decide what he wanted to tell the redhead, just like that open offer when the shinobi had first left, off the record and a friend's shoulder/ear. Even if the offer was never taken up on.
"It's just not good. That's all you really need to know. Would take too long to explain anyway..." And it was quite obvious that Kanda didn't want to offer up the information. He was always touchy about his past and what he chose to share with his fellow Exorcists. "I need to see if Milla will talk to him. I'd have Sasha do it but... he's untrustworthy obviously."
Kanda suddenly, awkwardly, scooted back on the bed so his back was against the wall. He was attempting to make himself comfortable, if not for his own sake but for Lavi's.
Lavi nodded, understanding even if he didn't like it, they all had things that they'd rather hide than share with one another. Close comrades that still wouldn't let anyone see what was nearest to their hearts, Lavi was guilty of it perhaps as much as the others. Even with all that he had explained about his job there was never the fact that one day he'd leave them, no one really understood that when he explained. Or at least got that he'd leave when "Lavi" was over, it was just never something that came to mind.
"I understand, I don't even really trust him myself though I know he's close to the supervisor," though lately Lavi's own relationship with their leader had been terribly shaky, for once it looked like that it might be back on old grounds. All he had to do was keep away from Tyki, or at least keep from the others that he was near the Noah. Lavi couldn't stop him from randomly coming in after all. "Hopefully she'll be able to help, he needs his sleep with all the running around that he does." He forced a smile on his face, looking down at his lap and pile of ripped paper.
In reality, Kanda had no idea how any of them would react if the rest of the Order found out about his and Alma's past. For all he knew they might grow cautious around him, especially Link, and that was the last thing he wanted for the small boy. "I'm glad Alma doesn't remember last week. I don't know if I could have kept up that charade." He wished it had been that way for him, he wished Alma didn't have to go through what he did.
And then Kanda started to fidget. He was beginning to creep close to his ‘sharing' limit for their little get together. Granted, his tolerance for it lately had greatly reduced with the news from home. Therefore, it was time for a change in subject.
"What was your experiment last week anyway?" Anything to keep from talking about what happened at home was good by him. Hell, he'd rather talk about Itachi then that cluster of hot-buttons.
Lavi forced himself to laugh, it was all he could do at the abrupt change of topic but it still sounded horrible on his own ears. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to go over what had happened that week, he was still trying to process it all. Being stuck beside Tyki for an entire week like that had been nothing like the last time, when they had both been convinced they were a fighting unit from Natsuo's world. It had been strained and filled with awkward gaps despite the friendship that had been made. Partially from what he was about to reveal to his best friend.
"You remember that week where we were all paired up and couldn't go more than a few feet away from our partner without a shock? I got a repeat of that with Tyki. And the worst part of it?" Really this should be some sort of warning to Kanda, the redhead knew that Kanda had seen Lavi's relationship with the Noah, that it was better than most of theirs with the enemy. But few knew he had no choice in the matter, "The worst part is that because of a slip I had when Val was making those orders he decided he wanted to start courting me. Because he was happy and calm that week back when we thought we were partners, wanted it back."
He runs his hands through his hair, leaving them in the strands, "Yu, I don't know what to do." He couldn't say no - their friendship would be in ruins, it was the only thing keeping Tyki calm - and he couldn't say yes - because he doesn't know what to feel about the Noah anymore and everyone would kill him, figuratively.
Kanda's face took on a few different expressions the more Lavi spoke. First it was his normal default glare, then there was the eyebrow quirk of curiosity and then, full blown shock and a giant frown. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Tyki?!"
Unlike the Supervisor, Kanda had his own reasons why he would never ever tell Lavi that this wasn't a good idea. And only a small part of it was the fact that they were sworn enemies. The way Lavi had been acting, he could only guess that Tyki hadn't told him about their few... encounters. Not that Kanda was going to spill the news either, but it gave him all the more reason to protect his friend from the perverted Noah. "You say no, that's what! You're already in deep with Komui, do you even realize how bad it would be if he found out? About any of this?"
Kanda wasn't even yelling, not very loud anyway and it was soon smothered with a big sigh as the dark haired Exorcist ruffled his fringe. "Getting that close to a Noah... Lavi your innocence might not like it. Not to mention it's his damn job description to destroy it. What happens if this is just a ploy?" He snorted in slight disgust. "And neither of you were actually you that week either. Seems like a moot point to keep bringing it up."
"I know that I have to say no!" Lavi looks away from him, "But what if he goes off on a rampage and kills people because of that? I can't be the fault of that. I can't." Maka getting hurt by Tyki for simply having an idea on how to defeat the Earl was bad enough and left the redhead rattled. "I've been trying to keep my distance, I have. He just pops in my room whenever he damn well pleases!"
It had been the main reason behind having their get together in Kanda's room in the first place. It was safe. He toys with the pile of paper in front of him, "He keeps bringing it up. Like it's the way we're supposed to be. I don't want him to want me, I've done nothing to encourage it!" A white lie, he supposed, there were things that might have attracted the attention that he didn't know about. And some things they had spoken of might have been taken in a certain way. "We're only friends, and I loosely use the word at that, because it was either that or he was going to take my hammer. Back in that weird maze place where the walls wouldn't stay down." Labyrinth. "Besides, I already told Komui that I'd give my Innocence to one of you guys if I thought there was any danger to everyone..."
"If you know it then stop asking stupid questions!" Kanda clapped his hand over his eyes, Lavi could be the biggest pain in the ass sometimes. "Lavi. Since when is it your job, and your job alone to keep a damn eye on the Noah? Do you even realize how stupid that sounds?" He shifted on the bed, crossing his arms tightly, clearly agitated by the rabbit's outburst. "Whatever Tyki does is on him. Thinking you're at fault for anything he might do is honestly disturbing. You're not attached to him... or I hope you aren't."
"You have Innocence, Lavi. If you didn't want him around you could make him leave." It was the main reason Kanda took Mugen with him everywhere, that and the fact that things could go to hell in a matter of seconds. "The way we're supposed to be is at home killing each other. Thinking anything else is ridiculous, no matter how much he says he wants it." Though the ‘friend' word causes Kanda to glare at his fellow Exorcist, yep, he's angry now. "Friend? How can you even use that term loosely with someone who's killed you before? Killed Allen multiple times? Threatened Komui and even killed the damn Crow!" Kanda's arm shot out, grabbing Lavi by the collar and dragging him close. "Like hell I am taking your goddamn innocence. It's your burden goddammit! What kind of Exorcist turns his back on his responsibilities?! Get your act together before it's too late."
"Doesn't change the fact that I'd still feel responsible, Yu!" He hadn't felt guilty over many of the things that Tyki had done simply for the fact that his friends hadn't told him what had occurred between them and the Noah. Maka... Well, he hadn't helped her reach that thought, hadn't been to blame except for maybe not being there to stop him. "His company isn't normally all that bad, he just wants someone to talk to. And that's all I plan on being, don't you want a way into his thoughts? A way to figure him out so we can stop whatever trouble he starts to do just as he does it?" A double agent, he'd played the part before and he could do it again, it just might be harder this time.
Tettsui was on him at all times, there were only a handful of times that he had actually gone around Tyki without it on his person. And only one time he actually regretted it. "He didn't kill me, he almost did." But even then he flinches at the mention of Tyki killing the others, it was before the truce, after the truce, but during it the Noah had unbelievably held to the promise of peace. Hadn't made a move until Maka had spoken up after she had briefly been from their home, been an Exorcist. Then he was jerked from his thoughts as Kanda grabbed his collar and the Bookman apprentice just barely managed to keep from falling onto his friend, hands balancing him against the wall. "I'm trying. It's easier to say everything than to actually do it..." Lavi hangs his head a bit, bangs brushing Kanda's hand.
"Gramps would be upset with me... It shouldn't be this hard to shove someone away, yeah? Stupid heart..."
"I don't know what the hell this is. But I don't think I have to tell you it's completely retarded and ridiculously dangerous." And he shook the rabbit a little. "And I don't just mean for you. We are all Exorcists, Lavi. We are all responsible for the Noah. Stop putting it on your shoulders." Kanda propped the red head up and released the rough hold he had on his collar. "You're being selfish. And I might believe that double-agent crap if you weren't having an emotional battle right in front of me."
He sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall again. This whole talk had taken a rather uncomfortable turn into a mushy ‘feelings' seminar, and Kanda was already trying to think of an escape. But, he was worried about his friend. "Don't listen to the Noah's crap. If you think he's being completely honest with you then you really are an idiot. He'll say anything to get what he wants and manipulate you until you're doing what he wants all on your own." He probably sounds like he's talking from experience, and he has. Not that he's planning on telling Lavi that... the only reason he might would be to protect his friend. "I don't trust Tyki because he's a Noah. I don't trust him because he's a ticking time bomb."
"It's not too late. No matter how much he sweet talks you, he's killed us many times. At home and here, and the next time he gets an opportunity I know he won't pass it up."
"I don't doubt that he wouldn't given the opportunity..." Lavi knew the Noah lived to kill, loved to do it, but he also believed now like Allen had that they were still human under the Memory pressing down on them. Released Lavi doesn't move much, shifting a bit close toward his friend and setting his forehead down on Kanda's shoulder. The swordsman could push him away later if he wanted, but right now Lavi needed to be close to someone who could and had knocked some sense into him. Needed that sort of support. "Not so much as an emotional battle as just...trying to figure out what's the best road to take. For all of us...
"But I'll keep my Innocence," Lavi lifted his head and looked at Kanda, "I won't Fall. I'd kill myself before that happened." The slightest bit of resistance from it and he'd back off, if it kept getting worse then he would prepare himself for the worst that could happen to him here. A temporary death and out, hoping that the interns would reset the Innocence so it wouldn't start the process again once he woke back up. "I'll try hard, Yu. You guys always mean more to me than he does. Even if I have to play friends with him." Something he had to keep doing. Otherwise it was bye-bye hammer anyway.
It was that same thought that Kanda had tried to beat out of Allen's head more than once. Eventually though, Allen came around to his way of thinking. Kanda could only hope that Lavi eventually saw the Noah for what he was, a killer.
"That's bullshit. You know the best road, you're just being a pain in the ass about taking it. Talk to him, I don't give a shit about that. But all this trusting shit and the.. courting... don't go through with it. It's hard to say you're still one of us if you're dating our number one enemy." The way Lavi leaned on him was awkward at best and it took a lot of restraint not to immediately shove the other boy off of him.
"Damn right you won't fall. You'll have my boot up your ass if you even come close to it." Kanda was supportive in his own way, it was up to Lavi to see through the violence and find his true meaning. He was worried about him, and he'd try to lead his friend in the right direction. "And don't try, do. I still don't think the double agent thing is a good idea."
"I don't want him courting me. I've told him that. He just keeps insisting that I'm the one for him all because of something that slipped out wrong." Lavi hadn't meant to say ‘no' the way he had, simply his mouth moving before his head had worked out the rest of what he had wanted to say. That it didn't matter to him who Tyki ‘married' during that week, he had ended up proposing to everyone within the Order anyway as far as the redhead knew. "I don't want a relationship but he doesn't seem to get that through his head."
Lavi lifts his head and sighs, he knows that Tyki will kill him, there aren't any delusions about that. But the one time he had the chance...he hadn't. And that sticks out in Lavi's mind. "Thanks, Yu... Would you mind if I spent the night? Just one night." He doesn't want to go back to his room with the threat of Noah lurking around, Lavi would just go back to get Autumn.
"Whatever you do, just keep Komui in the loop. The last thing we all need is for him to sick the church dog on you. If you need it, I'll back you up." Once Lavi lifts his head, Kanda gives him a small playful shove. He couldn't act too nice after all, last thing he needed was for this to become a common thing. Lavi was already using his first name a bit too much for his liking.
"I could always solidify what ‘no' means for the Noah. I haven't interacted with him in a while." Is that a slight smirk of impending violence? Possibly. Yes. "Alma can always sleep with me tonight. Not like we didn't do it before." Alma also wasn't one to turn down visitors, especially when it was one of their fellow Exorcists. "And if he starts to give you any more trouble, you sure as hell better tell me. If he thinks there's no consequences to messing with one of my... friends... he's got another thing coming." Yes, he said it. And as long as the other boy didn't rub it in, he wouldn't have to punch him.
Lavi nods, though he still doesn't think that he's back on firm ground with their Supervisor, Komui is more likely to call Link down on him for just talking to Tyki. Though the Inspector had threatened Lavi with the ofuda more than once for his behavior, had actually used them on him once, but their current relationship standing...was rather off balance as well. He and Lavi were struggling to find a middle ground after their talk about home and so far it was still a work in progress. "Thanks... But I think I can handle it knowing I've got back up."
A small, wiry smile crosses his lips and he rubs at where Kanda shoved him back a bit, "I'll come over again a little closer to dark with Autumn." The smile widens a little more at the mention, the admission, that they were friends and Lavi nods yet again, "Yeah... I promise you'll be the first one I tell, Yu."
"I don't know about home. But here I know I'm damn hard to kill. You're not going to be without me very easily." And that was the only thing he cared to mention of the news from home. Kanda had lived through far too much to believe he could have been taken down by something so routine sounding. If Skinn didn't kill him, nothing else was going to.
He relaxed a bit, nudging the rabbit with his knee. "Or as dark as it gets in this place." Good job Lavi. Kanda was glad he didn't have to retaliate to show he hadn't gone soft. "Damn right you better promise." He smirked, Lavi could be a pain, but he was also one of the people he had come to trust during the years. "Alma will be excited when you get here." Which meant he didn't plan on telling anyone that didn't need to know. If Lavi was hiding out, he didn't need little mouths to chatter too much about it.
Lavi's expression falls only slightly at the mention of home, of the place where he's missing and his best friend is apparently dead. He just has to make the most of his time here with the swordsman. And Alma. The both of them. Because one he didn't even get the chance to know before he was gone and the other... Lavi cared too much about (and he shouldn't) to let go so suddenly like that, but that was war and that was what you had to put up with.
He forces a fake smile back up on his face for now, it'll take him a while to forget again about home. But when he comes back later tonight all the smiles on his face will be real ones, just like it should be. "Thanks for talking with me, Kanda." Yes, his real name, it's only proper since he was gifted with the label of ‘friend', "I'll go now, yeah?" Lavi ducks out from under the top bunk and gets to his feet, heading for the door and his own room.
When: Wednesday
Where: Kanda's room
Summary: Two friends talking about an annoying Noah
Rating: PG-13 (language, aluded situations)
Warnings: Language, aluded situations
There were so many things that they could talk about but they wouldn't, things from home Lavi still hadn't gotten over and he could tell that they haunted Kanda too somewhat. At most it would just be to ask him not to tell Allen, just like Link had asked of him. It was something that the younger Exorcist didn't need to know, to have on his shoulders to worry about. The redhead could also ask how it was having Itachi back but that really wasn't any of his business, even as a friend. He could guess anyway that the swordsman was relieved and happy just like anyone would be at being reunited with someone they had liked a lot, if not loved.
Lavi still groped for something to talk about regardless of the fact that they didn't need to talk at all. He knew that Kanda preferred silence, where as with Lavi it just made him fidget, especially in the other's presence. It had been an impulse to invite him out, they were comrades in arms at least if not friends and they needed to get back to where they could communicate more easily. Lavi toyed with the bits of paper that he had left over from the group party a while ago, ripping the strips that he found within reach into a neat little pile in front of him.
"How... How has Alma been? I haven't seen him lately." A stupid way to start a conversation but it was the only way that Lavi could currently think of, and it was better than asking how he was handling things. Knowing them.
At first, Kanda had almost told the other Exorcist just where he could shove the idea of them getting together for a little one-on-one, but -luckily- the events of the past few weeks made him agree with the redhead. It had been a little while since they were together last in that messed up story-book F3. The memory he had gotten from Lavi was just one of the many things that had him silently avoiding his friends. It's not every day you learn that you are presumed dead by the organization that created you.
Oddly, what bothered him most was what Link had said happened to Mugen. He'd never heard of innocence rusting, if anything it lashed back at the user to create something horrible. And those of dead users usually went back to it's dormant state. Perhaps being a second Exorcist had something to do with it. Probably. Yet another thing for the dark-haired Exorcist to be moody about.
"Alma..." That was a whole other issue that had plagued his mind. He knew Alma had turned into an Akuma... but the fact that they were both dead and what he had presumably done to Allen... yeah, just more unanswered questions. "Other than the tests he's fine. … He's getting more dreams though." And as long as Lavi didn't pry about Itachi, he wouldn't have to punch him.
Lavi remained quiet for a few more moments after Kanda spoke of the little boy that the redhead had grown fond of but would never get to know at home. It seemed so unfair that Alma would have his life cut so short in so many ways, to be sealed away and then awakened only to attack and almost be killed by the one who was his best friend. But Lavi couldn't do anything for him, not at home, so he had started promising himself he'd try and make things good for Alma while he was here.
"More dreams?" This was the first time that Lavi had heard about Alma's dreams, wondered briefly if they were of the events that would transpire at home. And he hoped they weren't, prophetic dreams were often the worst kind of dreams to have, at least in Lavi's opinion. He recalled having a few deja vu moments at home from dreams months or years ago that he barely remembered and how unsettled they always made him. Always left him wondering why he was doing this again when it was really the first time.
Lavi would never intrude on that, what happened between Kanda and Itachi was between the two of them. It was up to Kanda to decide what he wanted to tell the redhead, just like that open offer when the shinobi had first left, off the record and a friend's shoulder/ear. Even if the offer was never taken up on.
"It's just not good. That's all you really need to know. Would take too long to explain anyway..." And it was quite obvious that Kanda didn't want to offer up the information. He was always touchy about his past and what he chose to share with his fellow Exorcists. "I need to see if Milla will talk to him. I'd have Sasha do it but... he's untrustworthy obviously."
Kanda suddenly, awkwardly, scooted back on the bed so his back was against the wall. He was attempting to make himself comfortable, if not for his own sake but for Lavi's.
Lavi nodded, understanding even if he didn't like it, they all had things that they'd rather hide than share with one another. Close comrades that still wouldn't let anyone see what was nearest to their hearts, Lavi was guilty of it perhaps as much as the others. Even with all that he had explained about his job there was never the fact that one day he'd leave them, no one really understood that when he explained. Or at least got that he'd leave when "Lavi" was over, it was just never something that came to mind.
"I understand, I don't even really trust him myself though I know he's close to the supervisor," though lately Lavi's own relationship with their leader had been terribly shaky, for once it looked like that it might be back on old grounds. All he had to do was keep away from Tyki, or at least keep from the others that he was near the Noah. Lavi couldn't stop him from randomly coming in after all. "Hopefully she'll be able to help, he needs his sleep with all the running around that he does." He forced a smile on his face, looking down at his lap and pile of ripped paper.
In reality, Kanda had no idea how any of them would react if the rest of the Order found out about his and Alma's past. For all he knew they might grow cautious around him, especially Link, and that was the last thing he wanted for the small boy. "I'm glad Alma doesn't remember last week. I don't know if I could have kept up that charade." He wished it had been that way for him, he wished Alma didn't have to go through what he did.
And then Kanda started to fidget. He was beginning to creep close to his ‘sharing' limit for their little get together. Granted, his tolerance for it lately had greatly reduced with the news from home. Therefore, it was time for a change in subject.
"What was your experiment last week anyway?" Anything to keep from talking about what happened at home was good by him. Hell, he'd rather talk about Itachi then that cluster of hot-buttons.
Lavi forced himself to laugh, it was all he could do at the abrupt change of topic but it still sounded horrible on his own ears. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to go over what had happened that week, he was still trying to process it all. Being stuck beside Tyki for an entire week like that had been nothing like the last time, when they had both been convinced they were a fighting unit from Natsuo's world. It had been strained and filled with awkward gaps despite the friendship that had been made. Partially from what he was about to reveal to his best friend.
"You remember that week where we were all paired up and couldn't go more than a few feet away from our partner without a shock? I got a repeat of that with Tyki. And the worst part of it?" Really this should be some sort of warning to Kanda, the redhead knew that Kanda had seen Lavi's relationship with the Noah, that it was better than most of theirs with the enemy. But few knew he had no choice in the matter, "The worst part is that because of a slip I had when Val was making those orders he decided he wanted to start courting me. Because he was happy and calm that week back when we thought we were partners, wanted it back."
He runs his hands through his hair, leaving them in the strands, "Yu, I don't know what to do." He couldn't say no - their friendship would be in ruins, it was the only thing keeping Tyki calm - and he couldn't say yes - because he doesn't know what to feel about the Noah anymore and everyone would kill him, figuratively.
Kanda's face took on a few different expressions the more Lavi spoke. First it was his normal default glare, then there was the eyebrow quirk of curiosity and then, full blown shock and a giant frown. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Tyki?!"
Unlike the Supervisor, Kanda had his own reasons why he would never ever tell Lavi that this wasn't a good idea. And only a small part of it was the fact that they were sworn enemies. The way Lavi had been acting, he could only guess that Tyki hadn't told him about their few... encounters. Not that Kanda was going to spill the news either, but it gave him all the more reason to protect his friend from the perverted Noah. "You say no, that's what! You're already in deep with Komui, do you even realize how bad it would be if he found out? About any of this?"
Kanda wasn't even yelling, not very loud anyway and it was soon smothered with a big sigh as the dark haired Exorcist ruffled his fringe. "Getting that close to a Noah... Lavi your innocence might not like it. Not to mention it's his damn job description to destroy it. What happens if this is just a ploy?" He snorted in slight disgust. "And neither of you were actually you that week either. Seems like a moot point to keep bringing it up."
"I know that I have to say no!" Lavi looks away from him, "But what if he goes off on a rampage and kills people because of that? I can't be the fault of that. I can't." Maka getting hurt by Tyki for simply having an idea on how to defeat the Earl was bad enough and left the redhead rattled. "I've been trying to keep my distance, I have. He just pops in my room whenever he damn well pleases!"
It had been the main reason behind having their get together in Kanda's room in the first place. It was safe. He toys with the pile of paper in front of him, "He keeps bringing it up. Like it's the way we're supposed to be. I don't want him to want me, I've done nothing to encourage it!" A white lie, he supposed, there were things that might have attracted the attention that he didn't know about. And some things they had spoken of might have been taken in a certain way. "We're only friends, and I loosely use the word at that, because it was either that or he was going to take my hammer. Back in that weird maze place where the walls wouldn't stay down." Labyrinth. "Besides, I already told Komui that I'd give my Innocence to one of you guys if I thought there was any danger to everyone..."
"If you know it then stop asking stupid questions!" Kanda clapped his hand over his eyes, Lavi could be the biggest pain in the ass sometimes. "Lavi. Since when is it your job, and your job alone to keep a damn eye on the Noah? Do you even realize how stupid that sounds?" He shifted on the bed, crossing his arms tightly, clearly agitated by the rabbit's outburst. "Whatever Tyki does is on him. Thinking you're at fault for anything he might do is honestly disturbing. You're not attached to him... or I hope you aren't."
"You have Innocence, Lavi. If you didn't want him around you could make him leave." It was the main reason Kanda took Mugen with him everywhere, that and the fact that things could go to hell in a matter of seconds. "The way we're supposed to be is at home killing each other. Thinking anything else is ridiculous, no matter how much he says he wants it." Though the ‘friend' word causes Kanda to glare at his fellow Exorcist, yep, he's angry now. "Friend? How can you even use that term loosely with someone who's killed you before? Killed Allen multiple times? Threatened Komui and even killed the damn Crow!" Kanda's arm shot out, grabbing Lavi by the collar and dragging him close. "Like hell I am taking your goddamn innocence. It's your burden goddammit! What kind of Exorcist turns his back on his responsibilities?! Get your act together before it's too late."
"Doesn't change the fact that I'd still feel responsible, Yu!" He hadn't felt guilty over many of the things that Tyki had done simply for the fact that his friends hadn't told him what had occurred between them and the Noah. Maka... Well, he hadn't helped her reach that thought, hadn't been to blame except for maybe not being there to stop him. "His company isn't normally all that bad, he just wants someone to talk to. And that's all I plan on being, don't you want a way into his thoughts? A way to figure him out so we can stop whatever trouble he starts to do just as he does it?" A double agent, he'd played the part before and he could do it again, it just might be harder this time.
Tettsui was on him at all times, there were only a handful of times that he had actually gone around Tyki without it on his person. And only one time he actually regretted it. "He didn't kill me, he almost did." But even then he flinches at the mention of Tyki killing the others, it was before the truce, after the truce, but during it the Noah had unbelievably held to the promise of peace. Hadn't made a move until Maka had spoken up after she had briefly been from their home, been an Exorcist. Then he was jerked from his thoughts as Kanda grabbed his collar and the Bookman apprentice just barely managed to keep from falling onto his friend, hands balancing him against the wall. "I'm trying. It's easier to say everything than to actually do it..." Lavi hangs his head a bit, bangs brushing Kanda's hand.
"Gramps would be upset with me... It shouldn't be this hard to shove someone away, yeah? Stupid heart..."
"I don't know what the hell this is. But I don't think I have to tell you it's completely retarded and ridiculously dangerous." And he shook the rabbit a little. "And I don't just mean for you. We are all Exorcists, Lavi. We are all responsible for the Noah. Stop putting it on your shoulders." Kanda propped the red head up and released the rough hold he had on his collar. "You're being selfish. And I might believe that double-agent crap if you weren't having an emotional battle right in front of me."
He sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall again. This whole talk had taken a rather uncomfortable turn into a mushy ‘feelings' seminar, and Kanda was already trying to think of an escape. But, he was worried about his friend. "Don't listen to the Noah's crap. If you think he's being completely honest with you then you really are an idiot. He'll say anything to get what he wants and manipulate you until you're doing what he wants all on your own." He probably sounds like he's talking from experience, and he has. Not that he's planning on telling Lavi that... the only reason he might would be to protect his friend. "I don't trust Tyki because he's a Noah. I don't trust him because he's a ticking time bomb."
"It's not too late. No matter how much he sweet talks you, he's killed us many times. At home and here, and the next time he gets an opportunity I know he won't pass it up."
"I don't doubt that he wouldn't given the opportunity..." Lavi knew the Noah lived to kill, loved to do it, but he also believed now like Allen had that they were still human under the Memory pressing down on them. Released Lavi doesn't move much, shifting a bit close toward his friend and setting his forehead down on Kanda's shoulder. The swordsman could push him away later if he wanted, but right now Lavi needed to be close to someone who could and had knocked some sense into him. Needed that sort of support. "Not so much as an emotional battle as just...trying to figure out what's the best road to take. For all of us...
"But I'll keep my Innocence," Lavi lifted his head and looked at Kanda, "I won't Fall. I'd kill myself before that happened." The slightest bit of resistance from it and he'd back off, if it kept getting worse then he would prepare himself for the worst that could happen to him here. A temporary death and out, hoping that the interns would reset the Innocence so it wouldn't start the process again once he woke back up. "I'll try hard, Yu. You guys always mean more to me than he does. Even if I have to play friends with him." Something he had to keep doing. Otherwise it was bye-bye hammer anyway.
It was that same thought that Kanda had tried to beat out of Allen's head more than once. Eventually though, Allen came around to his way of thinking. Kanda could only hope that Lavi eventually saw the Noah for what he was, a killer.
"That's bullshit. You know the best road, you're just being a pain in the ass about taking it. Talk to him, I don't give a shit about that. But all this trusting shit and the.. courting... don't go through with it. It's hard to say you're still one of us if you're dating our number one enemy." The way Lavi leaned on him was awkward at best and it took a lot of restraint not to immediately shove the other boy off of him.
"Damn right you won't fall. You'll have my boot up your ass if you even come close to it." Kanda was supportive in his own way, it was up to Lavi to see through the violence and find his true meaning. He was worried about him, and he'd try to lead his friend in the right direction. "And don't try, do. I still don't think the double agent thing is a good idea."
"I don't want him courting me. I've told him that. He just keeps insisting that I'm the one for him all because of something that slipped out wrong." Lavi hadn't meant to say ‘no' the way he had, simply his mouth moving before his head had worked out the rest of what he had wanted to say. That it didn't matter to him who Tyki ‘married' during that week, he had ended up proposing to everyone within the Order anyway as far as the redhead knew. "I don't want a relationship but he doesn't seem to get that through his head."
Lavi lifts his head and sighs, he knows that Tyki will kill him, there aren't any delusions about that. But the one time he had the chance...he hadn't. And that sticks out in Lavi's mind. "Thanks, Yu... Would you mind if I spent the night? Just one night." He doesn't want to go back to his room with the threat of Noah lurking around, Lavi would just go back to get Autumn.
"Whatever you do, just keep Komui in the loop. The last thing we all need is for him to sick the church dog on you. If you need it, I'll back you up." Once Lavi lifts his head, Kanda gives him a small playful shove. He couldn't act too nice after all, last thing he needed was for this to become a common thing. Lavi was already using his first name a bit too much for his liking.
"I could always solidify what ‘no' means for the Noah. I haven't interacted with him in a while." Is that a slight smirk of impending violence? Possibly. Yes. "Alma can always sleep with me tonight. Not like we didn't do it before." Alma also wasn't one to turn down visitors, especially when it was one of their fellow Exorcists. "And if he starts to give you any more trouble, you sure as hell better tell me. If he thinks there's no consequences to messing with one of my... friends... he's got another thing coming." Yes, he said it. And as long as the other boy didn't rub it in, he wouldn't have to punch him.
Lavi nods, though he still doesn't think that he's back on firm ground with their Supervisor, Komui is more likely to call Link down on him for just talking to Tyki. Though the Inspector had threatened Lavi with the ofuda more than once for his behavior, had actually used them on him once, but their current relationship standing...was rather off balance as well. He and Lavi were struggling to find a middle ground after their talk about home and so far it was still a work in progress. "Thanks... But I think I can handle it knowing I've got back up."
A small, wiry smile crosses his lips and he rubs at where Kanda shoved him back a bit, "I'll come over again a little closer to dark with Autumn." The smile widens a little more at the mention, the admission, that they were friends and Lavi nods yet again, "Yeah... I promise you'll be the first one I tell, Yu."
"I don't know about home. But here I know I'm damn hard to kill. You're not going to be without me very easily." And that was the only thing he cared to mention of the news from home. Kanda had lived through far too much to believe he could have been taken down by something so routine sounding. If Skinn didn't kill him, nothing else was going to.
He relaxed a bit, nudging the rabbit with his knee. "Or as dark as it gets in this place." Good job Lavi. Kanda was glad he didn't have to retaliate to show he hadn't gone soft. "Damn right you better promise." He smirked, Lavi could be a pain, but he was also one of the people he had come to trust during the years. "Alma will be excited when you get here." Which meant he didn't plan on telling anyone that didn't need to know. If Lavi was hiding out, he didn't need little mouths to chatter too much about it.
Lavi's expression falls only slightly at the mention of home, of the place where he's missing and his best friend is apparently dead. He just has to make the most of his time here with the swordsman. And Alma. The both of them. Because one he didn't even get the chance to know before he was gone and the other... Lavi cared too much about (and he shouldn't) to let go so suddenly like that, but that was war and that was what you had to put up with.
He forces a fake smile back up on his face for now, it'll take him a while to forget again about home. But when he comes back later tonight all the smiles on his face will be real ones, just like it should be. "Thanks for talking with me, Kanda." Yes, his real name, it's only proper since he was gifted with the label of ‘friend', "I'll go now, yeah?" Lavi ducks out from under the top bunk and gets to his feet, heading for the door and his own room.